In the realm of dreams

Chapter 20. Dinners and Dares 1

Baek Yoona

I chose a sleeveless knee-length dress in powder blue for the director's dinner on Saturday night. I felt I needed to make an effort as the female lead of the play. Soobin and Jisung would join us as they were part of the crew. The barbeque place was an hour's bus ride from my house. I tried an up-do for my hair but it was no good so instead I used a curling iron to make some loose waves.

Around 7pm Sooho texted me to let me know he was outside.

'Where are you going?' Appa asked while he was perched on the sofa with his soju and snacks. His voice clearly showed he didn't approve of this.

'The director of our play is treating us to dinner so I am going there, don't wait up for me'. i didn't want to give him a chance to interrogate me further and stepped out of the front door amid a low rumble of his disapproving words.

Sooho had dressed up for the occasion as well. He would stand out in a crowd in his black trousers, blue shirt and a summer jacket. We had inadvertently dressed like a couple in matching colours. The thought made me blush. Either that or his obvious appreciative gaze on me as I smoothed invisible wrinkles on the skirt of my dress.

'You look very dapper, banjang', I said as a way of greeting but I was sincere.

'You look beautiful,'. He beamed. He looked like he meant it and I knew my blush had deepened. The dim streetlights outside my house provided some sort of subterfuge, a game of light and shadows which somehow was comforting and quite romantic. The hopeless girl in me likened the scenario to a debutante going to her first ball. If Sooho had asked me for the first dance it would have made the illusion stick. if he had asked me to dance with him right there on the shabby streets outside of my house I would have said yes. But he didn't ask and whatever hopeful magic I was harbouring in my chest quickly disappeared. The thought that saddened me was that i didn't know, i couldn't know, whether Sooho knew I would have said yes to his question.

It took us an hour by bus to get to the restaurant. it was more refined than the kind of places high-schoolers usually frequented. I was surprised the school could afford to treat the cast and crew to this restaurant. Sooho and I exchanged glances as we walked through the ambiently lit hallway of the restaurant to be shown to the room that was reserved for us and i knew he too was thinking how the school could afford this.

The rest of the cast and crew were already seated and chatting among themselves.

'Here come the rest of my main cast!' the director stood up and waved us over to our designated chairs. 'You guys sit here, my main cast all together'. I guessed he had already had a few sojus in him to warrant this bonhomie towards us.

I took the chair beside Eugene as it was clear the lead couple would be sitting together and Sooho sat opposite me.

The night passed with an abundance of good food, multi-way conversations, fuelled by the kind of relief and joy that comes from a job well done. There was a pulsating energy in the room carrying with it promise and potential for the future. We were riding the surf confidently. We could slay dragons with our words and our optimism. Thirty almost eighteen-year-olds talking about things that happened, our achievements and what more we could achieve. inevitably at some point the conversation turned toward the future and the looming CSATs and what plans people had about university. I was having a great time. Until it was time to go home.

Choi Sooho

I have always thought of her long hair as a waterfall but tonight her hair was the waves of an ocean. An ocean at night with its waves dancing to the invisible rhythm of the universe. It was the same rhythm my heart was beating to. Coincidentally we had chosen the same colour tonight. As we stepped on the bus her arm brushed the sleeve of my jacket and I caught a whiff of her perfume. Delicate but distinctive.

I don't know whether it was the adrenaline or what but was hyperaware of her every move, every gesture that night. The way her bracelets clanked against each other making tinny metallic sounds, the way she kept tugging a strand of hair as if to free it of its curl, the twitch in the corner of her mouth, a sign of concentration, as she brought up the map on her phone.

Even though it was not real I felt a sense of glee as I walked into the room with Yoona, as if we were a couple. To arrive at a dinner like this with the girl of the moment was quite the headline news. That balloon was burst very quickly by directornim as he made Yoona sit next to Eugene, who looked sleek in his designer clothes. I suppose it made sense for the lead couple to sit together.

When the servers finished bringing us the main dishes, an array of japanese delicacies, Jisung could no longer contain his curiosity and asked the question that all of us had been thinking but no one had asked.

'Directornim, how can the school afford this extravagant banquet'?, he spread his hands to indicate the numerous plates on the long table.

'Actually, we had a benefactor.', our directornim looked at Eugene. 'Eugene's parents have generously offered to sponsor this fancy dinner, so all of you should thank them'.

A loud cheer went across the table and a few of the lads banged their palms on the table to express their appreciation. Eugene had the grace, or audacity, to look sheepish and slightly embarrassed.

'Euegene, please thank ahjumma and ahjussi on our behalf', Yoona said, turning to face him, a little too sweetly.

He was trying to bump up his creds to Yoona, anyone could see that. I attacked the sashimi on my plate with some force. I wish I could puncture his efforts with this fork. Everyone around me seemed to enjoy the food and the company, but my mood had soured when I saw that Eugene had casually placed his hand on the backrest of Yoona's chair. Yoona was talking animatedly as usual and didn't seem to notice Eugene's sly move. I couldn't shake off the feeling that he did this to show me more than to make a move on Yoona.

As I was coming out of the restroom Eugene bumped into me.

'Sooho, can I ask you a question'?

I wanted to say no, but I tried to contain the bubbling rage inside me.

'Are you and Yoona dating? Are you a couple'?

Rationally speaking he was speaking politely and had asked an innocent enough question but human beings weren't always governed by rational, logical thought. At that precise moment, the gentle, too well-spoken boy in front me managed to poke the irrational, primitive monster in me. it took every ounce of my self-control to stop my fist from hitting his face. i dug my nails into my palms before managing a 'No', and brushing past him before he had a chance to ask another question.

I was angry at myself as much as I was angry at him. Of course I couldn't lie and say yes we were a couple when we weren't. it also nearly killed me to utter the word No and I couldn't bear to look at him any longer.

I should have known then that the night was only going to turn worse from that moment.