Black Spade || BxB

1| The beginning of the end...

Everyone's cheering...

As per usual the cheers fill up the crowded venue that is packed with so many people. I remember the old times when I could count the number of our fans on one hand.

The time I met the guys for the very first time, I was at best an amateur guitarist looking for some way to make money out of my passion for music. I know I've made it but I still can't get rid of the empty feeling inside me. I don't feel happy but I don't feel sad. I feel... nothing.

I look back to see Kobi on the drums who is feeling his way through the rhythm, with the widest smile. I admire him. Ever since day one he has been a star. He could be playing the same 8 songs over and over again and he would still be looking and living it, like it's his first time playing it live... He would be enjoying it.

"Thank you guys so much! I love you all!"
Angela is always energetic at concerts and good at keeping everyone's mood up. I used to be like her on stage. I would jump around and interact with fans and look like I was enjoying it even when I had been playing the same song too many times, but now I just look like a depressed "emo" guitarist hiding pain behind a fake smile. The fake smile I put on every time I'm hurting. The fans don't notice it but the band... my friends... they know. I'm hurting badly.

As soon as we finished up our concert I rush to the backstage in a hurry to find my phone. It took me very well 5 min to find it cause I always leave it somewhere then forget where. I sit down and immediately open Instagram like I've done after every concert in the past 2 weeks. I know it's stupid and I don't need anyone reminding me. I see my girlfriend's Instagram... well ex-girlfriend, Sylvia. She has been posting on her story. I take a good moment considering if I should open it or not. I know how it'll end, and it'll not make my moody behavior any better. Fuck it, I'm too curious to just be sitting here looking through her Instagram without opening anything. As expected I immediately regretted my decision. God damn it this girl is gonna be the death of me! The first story is a video from the concert we just played. I should've known she was coming. After all, I'm back in her hometown which is where we first met during high school. Fuck! She's probably doing this shit to piss me off! it wouldn't surprise me after she randomly broke up with me over text. I went to the next video which was the same but you can hear her singing along... it's my song. I wrote it for her back before we got together. It was a surprise for her and it was the one I sang for her the time I asked her out. She's totally just trying to piss me off on purpose. I seriously don't understand her. I wouldn't ever agree to play this song on stage in the first place if it wasn't because our fans love it and our band will do anything to make our fans happy. it's part of what makes live shows so great. I go to her last Instagram story and see a picture of her with two other men. The photo is slightly blurry but clear enough for me to see one of the guys was kissing MY ex-girlfriend's cheek. I feel the heat rising up my face so much that I probably look like a tomato. I suddenly hear loud footsteps approaching the door backstage. I'm guessing it's Kobi and Angela which was confirmed when the door burst open and I could see my happily overwhelmed bandmates walking into the room.

"MARC THE SOLO YOU IMPROVISED IN THE LAST BIT WAS FUCKING SICK- oh shit... what's up with your face dude, you getting sick?"

Angela is sweet but she sucks at handling situations that involve other people's emotions. Me and Kobi agreed that it's kinda just her thing.

"Don't tell me I think I know!" She continued pointing her fingers so close to me that I thought she was gonna poke my eye out.

"It's that bitch isn't it?"

"She's not a bitch..." I could see Angela and Kobi giving me both their best side eyes after saying that.

"Okay she's a bitch... but not like the real shitty kind." Silence filled the room after I finished that sentence both of them were still looking at me with a glare that could kill me. I know she's a bitch but it still hurts to admit it. I mean fuck! We've been together for almost 5 years and it's starting to drive me insane.

"Anyways... " Kobi says joining the conversation and sitting down on a chair next to me. I can already tell by his face that he's about to give me some of his old man wisdom and that's the last thing I need right now. He isn't even that much older than me and Angela. Only 3 years if I remember correctly but it's hard to know when he always talks like his 30 years older than us.

"If you're about to give me the whole 'back in my days' speech then you might as well stop it right now," I tell him smiling a little so he knows I'm joking. Meanwhile, I hear Anegela letting out a little wheeze.

"But seriously what's wrong? You've been acting weird during the whole concert and you know we're here for you." Kobi always sees right through me and so does Angela but not to the same extent as Kobi. Instead of saying anything I just show the picture of my ex Sylvia getting kissed by that boy on her cheek.

"Fuck..." is all that Angela lets out

"Yup," I sound cold and I know but it's hard when I've been keeping a lot of anger in me since I decided to open Instagram.

"I think you should break off social media Marc" Kobi puts his hand on my shoulder. I know he's right and I probably should but I just can't, I've tried so many times. All of the times I tried were because of Sylvia.

"I know it's hard but the next two weeks we got off so you could go see your mom and maybe hang out with us you know." Angela is right. My parents live in a small town out of the city and I haven't seen them in a while now. I'll text them that I'm coming home then meet them tomorrow. For now, all I need is probably some time for myself to think

<3