My Totally Hot Bandmates (Satire)

XXL Sex Tape

Tom pulls out a gun*
Tom: "So are you going to film with us or not?"
I'm confused asf... I agreed to this a while ago?..
Kitty Cunt: "Um yeah? Was I not clear?"
Tom rolls his eyes
Tom: "You seem annoying, I wasn't so sure"
OH FUCK YOU TOM.

*Bill pulls out his hello kitty condoms*
Bill: "Kitty chan needs some kitty condom!" he giggles and does a peace sign pose

Ew why the hell is he still wearing that dirty piss scented pikachu fursuit?
Kitty Cunt: "Can you please stop? Literally nobody fucking asked you..."
Bill: "Fufu- I must admit.. I do like a Tsundere from time to time"
I turn to Tom in desperation
Kitty Cunt: "Can he please be excluded from this or something?.. I'm begging.."
Tom: "He's my twin, so no. Glock or Cock" he shrugs

I wasn't sure why Tom was saying riddles now, but something about it was so... hot...
Tom was so.. charming, smart, and unbelievably witty..
The worst thing though, was that he didn't care about me at all.
Kitty Cunt: "What happened to him?.."
I give a dirty look to Bill*
Gustav: "He's in his anime phase"
Georg: "Yes.. I keep having visions of Bill watching hentai, it's been a nightmare"
I feel my heartstrings being pulled as Georg says that...
He really had to go through that?.. I felt so sorry for him.
Kitty Cunt: "G-georg I... I-I'm so sorry. That must be really hard"
I look at him with sympathy
Georg: "It's okay, I've been doing shadow work."

Huh?... The fuck does that mean
Tom: "Everybody stop talking. We have a sex tape to film."
Kitty Cunt: "He's right!"
I back up my daddy, I need everyone to listen to him the way I do...
Tom: "Shut up, don't talk back" he glares at me
I could never win his attention, could I? :(
*Gustav climbs on the bed, finally clean from his shit stains*
Gustav: "I'll go very gently for you" he sweetly smiles
Kitty Cunt: "You act like I don't do this everyday hon."
Gustav: "I know.. But anything for you" he smiles
Ummm ok.. So where's the fun?..
He was sweet and all, but lacking that spice
(That Tom had)

Gustav: "Do we have extra small condoms?"
Gustav asks EXTREMELY casually
Tom: "We all have big dicks Gustav, it's just you."
Gustav sighs
Gustav: "Guess I can't join in the fun then, eh?"
Kitty Cunt: "Literally NO ONE said that.. I have abortions all the time"
Tom: "Of course you do..." he groans
Gustav: "I-I know but just to make it easier for you.."
He smiles again
Omg pls stop... you cringe at him
Georg sighs and throws a wrapped leaf condom to Gustav, solving all our problems
Georg: "Always rely on nature"
He meditates for a few minutes
We all stare in fascination, he was a genius...
Einstein level.

Now that we were all on the bed, it was time to start filming!
Tom turns on the camera while gustav wears a go pro on his head
(acting like he was going down a ski slope or some shit)
*I start to slip off my clothes, showing my sexy body off and everyone is drooling except Tom*
Tom: "You're belly button is too low.." he complains
Kitty Cunt: "Do you have a belly button fetish? Does it really matter?"
Tom: "I actually do.. Stop kink shaming and show us your pussy"
I open my legs and the smell of decapitated fetuses from my previous abortions fill the room
Bill: "Peeee yewww!!!!" he yelps, having a seizure
Kitty Cunt: "SHUT YOUR PISS SCENTED PIKA CHU ASS UP" I scream
He starts to cry and pretend he's in a movie, singing Durch Den Monsun
Kitty Cunt: "Self pity at its finest..."
I was not looking forward to Bill... I needed to get him over with
Kitty Cunt: "Can we just get this over with?.. Come here Bill"
I whimper, terrified of him

To my surprise, he whips out his 11 incher and immediately slaps my clit with it
Bill: "Hehe.." he giggles and teases me with his big dick
Kitty Cunt: "Stop laughing like that, you're ruining the mood."
I roll my eyes
Bill: "S-sorry Kitty chan.. I'll be better" he whines like a puppy
*He sticks in a roblox butt plug in his ass and then starts to rail me in missionary*
It wasn't as HORRIBLE as I thought it'd be, he was in, balls deep, and holding up my legs
The only problem was those loud shrieks of his...
Why was he acting like he was the one getting fucked?
*I give him disgusted looks throughout our fuck session*
but this just makes him even more horny
He only lasts 2 minutes and cums all over the floor, getting overstimulated and starting to piss and cry...

Ugh fuck...
That was a horrible sight to see..
I roll my eyes
Before I know it, I am passed to gustav
He makes me suck his dick but then feels too guilty to keep on going.
Gustav: "Sorry M'lady"
Kitty Cunt: "For what?..."
Gustav: "I just feel bad for making you suck my dick"
Kitty Cunt: "Bitch?..."
Ugh fuck this man still wasn't understanding.
Kitty Cunt: "I do this all the time..."
I couldn't stand Gustav's God complex, he loved to play good guy...

Now I am passed around Georg and I am over the MOON EXCITED
I'm about to taste that magical dick
He first pours his blood on me for a ritual and starts chanting some random ass phrases
I close my eyes and try to feel the magic, but don't
Georg: "Now.. I will put it in"
He closes his eyes and lets out a big
Georg: "ahh..." of satisfaction
He was girthy as hell, so it was pretty enjoyable..
We start to do cowgirl and I'm just hopping on him
Sadly this reminds me of when Bill was hopping like a bunny and I get nauseous...
Georg: "Open up"
He tells my pussy
My pussy listens to his command and I'm confused asf
Kitty Cunt: "What are you doing? Why'd you stop?"
He sticks a few crystals in my vajayjay and I get hella pissed

Kitty Cunt: "The only thing going in my puss is a dick and a tongue, stop it"
I hit his arm away
Georg: "I was trying to cleanse you"
Kitty Cunt: "Pff cleanse my ass-"
Georg: "Okay"
He puts them in my asshole
Kitty Cunt: "NO IDIOT- ITS A SAYING"
I hit him away and look over to Tom

Tom: "Ugh seriously? My turn?" he whines
Why did he hate me so much? I was a bit sad...
He sticks it in for one second then puts his pants back on
I feel like crying...
I feel snot dripping down my nose.
I'm hurt

Tom: "Okay our video is done, keep it safe" Tom hands it to Georg
Bill starts laughing like an overpowered villian with his arms in the air
Bill: "But I want it"
Tom: "Here.. whatever"
He hands it to Bill

This was a big problem... my biggest opp now had the tape....