A Court of Ravens and Shadow

3

I lie on my bed, my hands resting on my chest. The cool night airs whisps in through the window. The white curtain dancing in the dark. I stare at my ceiling. Rarely does the calm & peace of sleep grace me. With the constant whispers of the tabs I keep around the Night Court in my ears, it is hard to quieten my thoughts. That mixed with the frustrations of the day I keep to myself, my thoughts spin through my head, rendering me sleepless. Always. Almost.

My ears prick up at the sound. Outside the window, low & distant thumps sound. One too familiar to me. Too familiar to not know, exactly.

I roll my eyes and sit up. Grabbing my leather jacket from the coat hanger I leave through the door.

Leaves crunching under my steps, I close in on the sound. Trees scattered around the lot. Tall & thick trunks, strong too. I should know. Having thrown Cass into the trees many times, and they still stand. I almost smirk with triumph.

Her long raven black pony-tail sways with each movement, with each punch. Sweat prickles the back of her neck, her hair coiling slightly. Alira throws her arms, almost rhythmic, into the tree, punch after punch, her breath light.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping Az?" Alira questions without a glance towards my way.

I lean onto a tree near my & cross my arms.

Disregarding her question, I stare plainly. "Your core is not stable when you punch."

Sweat trickles down the side of her temple. Cheeks the faintest of pink in the dark of night. She purses her lips and ceases her punching. "I'm done anyway. My peace has been disturbed." She teases, unwrapping the cloth from her knuckles. Glancing towards me, her eyes twinkle slightly. I notice the darkness that has been growing under her eyes.

Standing up straighter, "And wasn't Madja's advice to sleep?" I question her coolly. "Brother Rhysie won't be very happy with you". She rolls her eyes in response.

One thing I had learnt through the years was Alira's ability to be so easily riled by the mention of her brother. However, it only stems from the over-protective behaviour of Rhys to his little sister. Something both Cassian and I felt to some extent, as if she were a sister of our own... almost.

I shrug off the odd feeling escaping through me, and turn to leave. However, I am stopped in my tracks when I hear the mumble of her voice; "the herbs haven't been working."

I furrow my brows. Turning back around on my heel, before I can question her she starts; "it's getting worse." She admits quietly.

I stand still. Pondering. Alira wasn't one to admit much to me. Not when it was an admission of failure. Madja's help wasn't working. Alira had kept it quiet for weeks since seeking her assistance. She had also grown more distant than usual, denying the opportunity to attend Rhy's missions. Which was new.

I drop my head slightly, glaring at the ground. How could I have missed this. How could my shadows have not told me something was up. I should have guessed it. I shake my head slightly, looking up again. Her eyes stay focused on the ground. Shame.

My mouth falters. "Alira, don't be mad at yourself". I ignore the hypocrisy of my words. I knew, I would be frustrated with myself. The shame of failure reeks through my mind. Something, which if I let it, would consume me whole. However, my childhood taught me that strength is also within, and I would never let my brothers see me succumb to my own demons, not when they sacrificed so much so we could all be here.

"What if I have been cursed? What if something is wrong with me... What if I am a risk to have around... The thoughts Az, they're loud, and I can't.. I can't keep up." She shakes her head, angry. A crease between her brows, her eyes glassy. I can almost hear her heart. Pounding, her blood roiling at herself.

I shake my head. Thoughts are loud. What could she mean. What does she mean. I take a step forward. "What do you mean... the thoughts are loud?" I ask quietly. A slow darkness creeps through her face.

She turns her head away, as if in battle, again. To tell or not to tell.

I step closer. My eyes intent. Is this why she hasn't been sleeping. If Rhys finds out... he will search and search for an answer. Anything to keep his sister safe & well.

"Alira." I say firmly. This girl...

Stepping closer. The distance between us taught, any closer, and Rhys would have questions. Questions I would immediately shut down.

She turns her head sharply, her eyes matching mine. The intensity in her blue glaring. Blue which felt like she could see right through me. Made me feel like she could see right through to my core. See my twisted insides. My horrors that I keep quiet, of which the shadows that trail me only know about. I almost shift under the intensity. But I hold my ground, hold my eyes to hers.

"They tell me things Az. They tell me things & they show me things. I feel like I am going crazy sometimes." She explains quietly. I work my jaw. I look above her head, deeper into the trees. Questions ring through my head as my heart beats faster than before. Why hasn't she told Rhys? Was this something Fae? I had only heard of thoughts & visions manifesting in the minds of special types of Fae, similar to myself. I flick my eyes back to hers. A note of desperation lies in her face. Desperation for answers.

"What do they tell ... or show you?" I ask.

She shakes her head, looking away. "I shouldn't have even said anything. I thought..." She didn't finish her sentence, stepping past me she starts back towards the house.

I take a breath in, turning on my heel. I stalk behind her, on her heels. Grabbing her elbow, I whirl her back towards me. Now, closer than ever. A hint of her breath whispers past my chin. If for a moment, our breaths were caught, you would not have known, as I start; "What..." I let the silence that follows reaffirm my prior question.

My grip on her elbow grows warm. Her stillness indicates no desire to walk away again. And yet, my grip stays, if not, only intensifies. Our hearts beat quick, the air thick.

"A decaying, empty forest. Soulless screams echoing through the woods. Black air swallowing it all whole." She stares blankly, calmly. I stare back.

In the distance I see a light from within the house turn on. A light breeze brushes past us. I drop my hand. "Go try sleep Alira." Stepping past her I stalk towards the house. A cold chill grows inside my chest, haunting, taunting, shaming.