A rare treasure (Kurapika x kuroro)

Chapter 13

It's almost sunset and Chrollo still isn't back. Kurapika was starting to get paranoid, what if something happened? What if he found someone else? Someone easier? Less emotional? Oh god where is he?!
..... no he should calm down a bit maybe he was just stuck in traffic? But he kept thinking on his conversation with Leorio, what if Chrollo already suspected? But even he wasn't too sure about his fertility it was something he just had to wait and see. But maybe Chrollo was tired of waiting, he probably wants a family and he could have any omega of his choosing. Oh god why can't he think positive for once?! He gets too overwhelmed in his thoughts whenever the slightest unexpected thing happens. Maybe he should just leave? Start over? Maybe just take a break and find stability first?

....Chrollo still isn't back.....

Kurapika looks at his suitcase then at the tickets, he can just easily exchange them.

He's at the airport alone booking a different flight this is for the best right?

Chrollo returns to an empty room Kurapika's stuff gone and a note with a single word written.

"Sorry"

He feels an intense sense of anger and betrayal.

But he'll find him sooner or later.

Kurapika sits on the warm sand he'd gotten back to work letting his frustrations on any poor soul who'd gotten too close to his employer. He'd taken longer shifts to distract himself from his thoughts. His neck ached faintly his mark starting to disappear like an old bruise. Months passed since he left Chrollo in that hotel room, sometimes he regretted it but other times it felt liberating. He felt a bit relaxed as he sat listening to soft waves of the ocean and birds off at a distance, the smell of the salty ocean and the cool breeze In the air.

He stayed until the sun set before returning back to his hotel room he had another job in a few days and needed to get packing.

He started keeping contact with his friends again especially Leorio. He'd get a check up every once in a while to his progress he recommended scent patches instead of the deodorant. But still advised to keep off the suppressants.

Gon was more chatty with him maybe because he too was an omega? The younger seemed happy to talk telling him of his new progress and adventures he still kept frequent contact with Killua though Kurapika wondered when the two will come to terms with their feelings. But he promised himself he wouldn't say anything wanting them figure it out themselves.

WARNING ⚠️ TALKS OF SUICIDE ⚠️

.....

Sometimes he wonders if he should just give up its getting harder and harder to get up every morning. He wants to see his parents again and Pairo. He missed them he thought getting rid of his past belongings would help him better cope with the loss but now he has nothing to cling to. Wouldn't it be easier to...... rest? Close his eyes and embrace that feeling of numbness?

He often finds himself in the bathroom staring at the razor sitting innocently on the counter. It would be so easy.... Just to pick it up. To hold it....press it against the skin on his wrist. He can clearly see the veins just a prick maybe a slash? It wouldn't hurt much right? He'd been through more painful experiences, this should be easy right?
Just one cut. Just one. Just one. Just one. Just one.

He picks up the blade.... Pressing gently on his pale skin for a bit he lets the blade sit there so close to his vein. He puts a little more pressure until a single red bead of blood forms.

Warning ⚠️ END⚠️

He lets the blade go immediately letting it drop into the floor. His tears streaming down his face. He can't do it. He just can't. He slides against the wall and stays there the rest of the night.

He awakens the next morning, he was still on the cold bathroom floor,in the corner of his eye he sees the blade. He gets up and starts getting ready for work.

Halfway through the job he starts to have those thoughts again, but he tries to convince himself to keep going just a few more hours. He can feel his mind drift away countless scenarios replaying in his head Chrollo, his fertility, his parents, Pairo, the blade, the small puncture in his wrist. It's all becoming too much, but he can't break down here there's too many people to many dangers. He starts to doubt his decision, maybe he should have waited for Chrollo to come back? At least he wouldn't be going through this alone but then again maybe he would, he wasn't exactly the type to share what's on his mind. He'd just push him farther away whenever his thoughts became too much. Maybe he was just destined to die alone, maybe it was his karma for selling out his klan members, or maybe even that he was indeed a bad omen. With no one left in his klan to curse but himself?

He could feel his hands start to shake breathing becoming unsteady. He needed to focus , breath in breath out, in,out,in,out. It's easy he's done it all his life just focus on the pattern. He could feel himself relax for a split second before his attention was swiped away.

His colleague had called out to him it was time to go home. Kurapika sighed in relief as he thanked him.

Back in his hotel he decided to make a phone call.

Leorio listened to his friend carefully, he was worried for the other, wished he could be there for him but the two where thousands of miles apart. He wanted to cry when Kurapika told him about the startling thoughts he'd been having, so he did the only thing he could do not as a friend but a doctor.

Kurapika looked down at the small bottle in his hands inside multiple tiny pallets prescribed to him. He took one to his hand and in the other a glass of cold water. He swallowed the pill with the help of the water and laid on his bed waiting hoping for something.