Tokyo Revengers Oneshot & Short Stories

If I were her - Draken

***A/N: feeling a bit angsty today, enjoy!***

You sat on the couch with your head in your hands. Heart in pieces that didn't feel like they could ever be repaired.

Tonight has been your anniversary dinner and yet you'd run from the restaurant early unable to take it anymore.

4 years, you had been with Draken for 4 years and yet you still felt like nothing more than a replacement.

You loved him, with every fiber of your being but he still loved her.

You knew it was irrational, to be jealous of Emma, she was his first love - if she hadn't passed they would likely still be together today.

It had been nearly 9 years since she passed, and yet you still saw Draken in your happiest moments as a couple with a saddened smile. For moments he forgot she was dead, forgot that you were someone else and you felt the love he felt for you.

Then inevitably, he remembered her and he crumbled, becoming depressed and unable to even fake a smile.

Why did you deal with this for so long? Because you loved him, you thought that eventually he would see you and you could continue a happy life together. The little snippets of a happiness fed your hope, but it nothing but false hope - something that finally got through tonight.

When you met with all his friends you could see it on their faces too, they saw how he would act, how he would be happy and committed with you - before his smile fell and he became standoffish, wanting to get away from you. All his friends looked at you with pity knowing Draken hadn't moved on from Emma. Watching silently as you fell apart.

Tonight was meant to celebrate 4 years but on the way to the bathroom you'd overheard Draken and Mitsuya.

You'd heard Draken say how much he missed Emma and how even though he loved you he couldn't get Emma out of his head or heart.

He felt guilty that he was living and moving on when he'd always thought about his adult life with her.

He felt guilty being with you.

You weren't Emma.

The words shattered whatever state you had been living in for 4 years. Slicing into you like a knife, and ripping your heart through your chest.

You didn't want to listen, you didn't want to hear it, each word chipping away at your heart and soul as you finally started to accept that he would never be yours. He would never have enough room in his heart for you.

Disappearing from the dinner was easy, you had almost wished that someone had noticed and come to console you but no. You had walked out alone, just like you had been for this whole relationship.

Wiping your tears you looked at the note you had written, a simple final goodbye before you disappeared. Tear drops stained the page but a numbness had started to settle over you, it was easier to not feel anything- trying to block the pain behind a wall so you could actually go through with leaving.

You've given this man everything, but it was just never enough.

There was so much you wanted to say but nothing sounded right. You couldn't even be angry, you wanted to be furious with him but how could you?

He broke your heart by loving someone who couldn't love him back, breaking you the way he was broken.

I love you, I wish that we had met earlier, then maybe things would be different. I truely hope one day you find someone worthy of your heart.