The Transcendental: The Church Project

Destroy and Create

Too much drama. Overdramatization. Largely, I think societal diseases owe it to things blown out of proportion or going overboard and being over the top. And this where drama kinda goes bad, the drama becomes rotten. Instead of fire that warms the heart or fire that fans people's passion, it is fire that is better put out 'cause it's just out of control and it serves nobody. Anyway, when you think of the elements and alchemy, it is of people's best interest to know when something is an agent of creation or destruction. But I find that when things go overboard and become over the top, people sometimes tend to go: Well, it's create and destroy, not just create, create, create. But then all I hear when they say this is a justification of the error in their ways, kind of like: I know this is destructive but then that makes me an agent of destruction, I help people grow. Actually, no, darling. Destruction in 'create and destroy' is actually destroying what's bad or getting rid of what's bad to make way for the growth of something good, it is for correction. You don't destroy something that is not problematic - and that is just like saying you don't destroy a thing that is working. Like in communities, for example, when they systems in place are working, there is no 'job opening' for someone who is knowledgeable in uprooting. It's like in dentistry, a dentist will tell you if the tooth needs extraction. The procedure or the action that's gonna be done depends on the situation.

When you destroy something that is working, that's an error. You made an error. That's different from being an agent of change or growth.

What is an example of 'destroy and create'? The aim of this is to destroy and create. You tell people about the disease so they could uproot systems in place and make room for a new system, a system that works. How is telling people about diseases 'to destroy'? Because systems are put in place like buildings. Systems are a lot like buildings. And you can't build a new one until destruction or uprooting takes place. And the thing is that there are people who get attached to systems, to structures, and when people get attached and you try and take the thing away from them, then you're gonna look like a snatcher. You're not gonna look good. But that's again why the context is important. You don't just try and take things away from people, it has to be established first that the system is not working or it may be working right now but later on, it can stop working and result in a disaster, or worse and probably the worst is that it's not working but for some reason, there's this collective delusion that it is.

So, you have to establish the cause for uprooting first.

Overdramatization is bad. You may have a high threshold for drama that is overly dramatic, but the effects would still manifest in an unwellness of sorts. A lot of things dramatic are not as bad as you think, like a lot of people will tell you, 'It's not the end of the world.' Also sometimes, people just infuse drama to things and that makes it artificial drama. In Tagalog, "Wala naman talagang problema, pero biglang nagkaroon." So, one is there's drama and it just so happens that there is, but instead of people being proactive in solving the problem and diffusing the thing, people kind of set the fire to low and slow cook it and sometimes they tend to overcook the thing. The problem isn't solved and on top of that it became complex, the simple is made complicated. So anyway, to solve the problem, we make the complex simple.

Infusing is worse. Because people create drama where there isn't. And people then buy the drama and have all these sorts of drama in their lives that isn't even good drama. In Tagalog, it's just 'kaartehan'. Just people creating problems where there isn't. It's kind of like intentionally putting stain on a piece of clothing so you need to wash it longer. Just people making a fuss over nothing.

But I think infusing comes from other issues. People don't just, to be fair, infuse drama where there isn't. That's another topic altogether, but to give an example of an issue, it could be low self esteem or just self-esteem issues from childhood that the person thought he'd already addressed and fixed but then the approach wasn't effective so there could be a manifestation of performance punishment. I personally think overachieving is a symptom of an underlying problem to do with self-esteem. I know that sounds weird 'cause generally, people think that when somebody is overachieving, then there can't be self-esteem issues. But as a parent, this is why I don't set parameters or anything of that sort for my children to measure their performance, I just encourage going to school, really. I think the parent's duty is to send the child to school so he could learn the basics, you know, reading and writing and expressing themselves, and eventually, things that would be useful in the job that they were to want to have. When it goes over the top, like when a parent starts telling the child: your report card should look like this. that would tell me that the parent has problems, issues with self-esteem, and wants to compensate with the help of the child. And I just never had this thing, anyway, where I want to put pressure on my child to be outstanding, I just encourage learning. I personally don't like it when other people try to do that to my children because I want them to grow up with healthy self-esteem. I want them to be happy children. And well, parents who have self-esteem issues, they love to compare their children with other children. I won't do that. That's just bad parenting to me. I also want my children to grow with personality, this individuality. Comparing your children with other children, that's just drama unnecessary, but it could be that the parent has unresolved issues surrounding self-esteem and it's being passed on to the child.

Did I have self-esteem issues? Definitely. But the thing with being unwell, again, is you can get well. And I just mostly had to figure out what confidence is, what that looks like, and I found that it is to do with self-expression and authenticity. And when I found out, I just kind of discarded the mask that I used to carry around with me when I am interacting with other people and it was like reconnecting with this child on those old photos - that happy child, smiling on those pictures - and I was just communicating more and more like me. I no longer feel like this shy and reserved girl who has to rehearse her 'speeches' and would be thinking like: what would this look like? Now, I would just go and do and say whatever I like. I found out that I didn't need to change anything, I just had to relax, get comfortable, and free me. And that's it. The transition was from rehearsed or reserved to extemporaneous and whatever my mood is. My personality is like my hair. It's what my hair looks like when it dries after I washed it or at any given time of the day actually.

People will tell you that it's painful removing a mask, and I would say it's the other way around. Wearing a mask is painful. Because you're gonna have drama in your life that wasn't there before. The mask would prevent you from healing your wounds properly and I don't think you can unless you actually remove it. Wearing the mask in the first place says that you have issues with self-expression and authenticity. This isn't talking about tact and privacy 'cause some people might say that they have to wear a mask so they won't be bad to people, so they won't have to say things to people. Some people might say that they have to wear a mask because there are things about them that are meant to be private. But you can have tact - and really, when you work on your issues, you'd find that you won't even need tact, because even when you're communicating you're just gonna be meaning well, and it's not to hurt people and because you're hurt too. As for privacy, I think people confuse privacy with hiding things because you're ashamed or you're afraid. Well, in that case, you just work on the shame and the fear, and watch how the mask just slides off your face. But working on things like that, it doesn't happen overnight. But this is what happens when the mask is gone, you free yourself from a lot of drama, and I suppose people would feel you're just this cold and indifferent human being or you would just be annoying a lot of drama kings and queens because you're just gonna see things for what they are and you just don't wanna be wasting time.

The free don't wear masks. They just do what they do. They can't be manipulated. But this is because they don't really have anything in them that longs to be liked or to belong or to be respected. 'Cause if you have something like that, you can be manipulated. How is that? Well, it's just logic. What you long for or you want is something you don't have yet. If you want to be respected, you don't have respect yet. If you want to belong, you don't belong yet. How do people know you got it? You don't look for it. You don't ask for it. You don't long for it. You already have it. It's a weird phenomenon but this is how manipulation happens. People will make you want something by withholding it from you. And that's how they know your insecurity. That's how they know what it is that you don't have. They will withhold belonging, respect, and love. And then they will design this scheme that will tell you how to get it. Don't take the bait. That's not how you're gonna get it. It would be fake even then. Manipulators don't give you the thing, it's just gonna be an imitation of the thing. How do you get it? Just be honest with your self-expression. Don't fall in the trap of rehearsing or pretending. If you laugh that way, you laugh that way. If you dress that way, you dress that way. You just keep on expressing yourself as honestly as you can. You feel how good that is. And that's it. That's how you get it. You just gotta see it for yourself. You would find that the manipulators won't disappear, but you would see them more clearly. These manipulators will still do what they do and that is withhold things from you. But you're not falling for the scheme. Because you know what they're holding and it's different from what you got. What they have are cages, yours is the world.

Be as honest as you can with your self-expression and the world becomes your oyster. You're not gonna be walking on eggshells for anybody. And wherever you go, people will look at you and they will see freedom walking. When you start walking free, you're just gonna keep doing it. You're never gonna miss the eggshells. That's how you know that you actually got it.