The Transcendental: The Church Project

Secondhand Smoke

February 16, 2024

So, I've been meaning to write a book about societal diseases for two reasons I could think of. One is because I've had this fascination and strong interest in the subject for what I suppose has been nearly two decades now since I started writing essays and commentaries while in school. And two, the study practically took a good chunk of my time these last couple of years or so, and I just have this concept in my mind for a reportage just sitting there. Well, I think three would be to create something for the world, for people who happen to be diseased but aren't aware of it and for people who are suffering from societal diseases like it's secondhand smoke. I just thought if we could write books on silent killers like heart diseases, why not write about humanity's silent killers but not in the physical sense or to do with physical health but spiritual diseases? And I know how this would just go down somebody's throat like the words of someone sitting on the high horse of spirituality, but, you know, I have stopped caring just a couple of days ago. 'Cause this is not intended to insult anybody, these words don't come in the shape of cheap tactics to 'score', this is no rebuttal. This is just to share what I found studying constructs, but you know, people would tell you, 'If the shoe fits, wear it.' but I'd probably say, if you find anything in this reportage that offends you, triggers you, let it offend you and trigger you, and better if you were to find yourself losing control. Why is that? Because then the thing goes beyond just being something offensive or something that triggered you, but a wake up call, an opportunity to sit with your emotions and ask yourself big questions, like: Where is this coming from? Why does this offend me? Is there anything I can do to stop getting offended or triggered whenever something like this comes up? 'Cause I find people like walking on eggshells, communicating with others, just avoiding disaster and being responsible for somebody being offended or triggered, just going like: This isn't for you. If you don't find this resonating with you (agreeing with your vanities), then it's not for you. Actually, no. When it counters someone's vanities, it is more for them than those who loved what you said. The more bitter and repulsive the words are, the more they are for the person. But of course, there are exceptions. 'Cause we are well aware that some people don't really intend to teach or assist in somebody's healing, it's the other way around. So, not to dampen somebody's joy, thinking: Oh, I am doing good when I spew hateful words around, when I write these things with the intention to hurt people. But no, that would be an exception. The key word is intent. If your intentions are ill, then it can't heal anybody. You're just really expressing your wounds the wrong way, you're expressing negative emotions you're struggling with the wrong way, but that is just a symptom of an underlying disease. It's just that unless there's a clinical term known for it, people will just be like: I'm not sick. I'm just angry. But there are people who just really mean well and they want to assist other people in healing their wounds and there'd be people coming to them, and they're upset. But it's always the intent that will tell you if you're doing it wrong, if the words are just coming from a place of hurt and not from a place of desire to help others navigate their emotional waters or process old, festering feelings. Of course there are people who are just indifferent and they couldn't be bothered saying a word or two to the afflicted and just kind of go, 'There's a special place in hell for you, anyway. And there, you'd find out anyway 'cause you're kinda gonna be watching yourself from the screen and there you could finally observe yourself.' But I am thinking there might be situations where people are just not really aware of it. And that's how it becomes a silent killer. Others call it wilful ignorance, but what do we do to get rid of that or to solve that problem? 'Cause it's one thing to say: Dude, you're wilfully ignorant. But it takes taking a step back and probably seeing: Hey, maybe he's not wilfully ignorant, just not aware of it, and he just needs somebody telling him that: Hey, I could see you, and I think you got this disease. The way somebody would probably tell you: Hey, I see that you kind of easily run out of breath despite not doing something that strenuous, it could be this or that. It's just not enough to be throwing the words around. Wilful ignorance. What do people do about it? It might be just somebody telling them honestly: Hey, I see you do this. Are you aware that blah blah blah? These are important conversations to be having with people. It's being a good community member. Don't just be watching and be like: He's an asshole. He's a jerk. He's toxic. Stay away from him. Tell the guy and ask him if he's aware of it, and maybe, you know, he'd get up and do something about it. Taylor Swift's song is not encouraging. It's enabling. All I hear is the snort. All I hear is her boredom. You don't want people getting bored about their diseases. They're gonna die. It's going to continue festering and ruining their lives. It's a very nasal song. Like the sound of a man jacking off. But I suppose it just depends. 'Cause you can't get people to care about wellness if they are just not invested in it. But if people aren't investing in wellness, when they get unwell, that's just logic. You do a and b, you get c. I used to complain about things when I get sick, but I got up and worked on things because I saw that it's just logic. You don't get enough sleep, you're overworked, you don't eat well, you don't meditate, you are just horrible with yourself and you're just neglecting your health this way and that way, of course you're gonna get sick. It's just logic. But until you see the logic, until you actually take a step back and go: Hmm, why is it that I am getting acid reflux lately? Why do I feel unstable? Why the fuck am I angry? Just angry, I feel unwell. you might be going like: God, why me? I am a hardworking dude. I am nice, why am I sick? When was the last time you did this and that to take care of yourself? When was your last detox? Have you been getting enough sleep? What have you been drinking? So, now, when I get sick, I take a step back and examine my lifestyle and not just the physical aspects of it but the whole of it. I also look at things from the energetic level. I take everything into consideration. 'Cause it's just all logic. You take care of yourself, you're gonna be well. But of course, the point here is that people are already sick or diseased, so now, it's gonna be healing first and then reformation of practices and just embracing the new you, the you who cares about wellness. But I really want to write this book and it's for community wellness, just creating healthy spaces, and I think raising awareness about societal diseases would be a good first step, and then people could just self-diagnose where they are and get up and do the work to improve their quality of life. And I would be drawing thoughts of course from personal experience because as much as people would think writers are these narcissistic preachers, I'd like to just state for the record that I've been really, really sick. So, if you were to find out or if you're already feeling you're gonna find something here that says you are sick, I want to tell you, it's not something to be ashamed of. If you're to find out you're sick, it's as normal as catching cold, it's very human to get sick. Wellness is just around the corner, but we got to invest in it. I've been sick myself, and um I think the best person to have conversations about wellness is someone who's been sick, who's been there, done that. So, if at one point, you were to find yourself saying: You don't know what it's like. Well, dude, if you were to read it here, if it's fucking you right now, it might have fucked me too. If you're struggling with it, if it's offending you, triggering you, it might have been just that I also struggled with it, it also offended and triggered me.

It's a strange phenomenon, how when the healed talks, the wounded is like: You don't know what it's like. But yeah, maybe let's just leave that weird for now. Just know that I am not here to hurt you, but if the words hurt, if the words cut, just let them cut and hurt, and let that tell you about your wound. This is gonna be a lot of 'getting to know a wound'. Just let this be a tool to help you figure out what kind of wound you got. Let the words be like hands pressing and feeling around and somebody saying: Does it hurt?

I am in no position to be talking about other diseases, just the kind I know and because again, I devoted time to getting to know them in the process of getting well. 'Cause I want healing, renewal, growth for myself, and I found that studying diseases in the community or societal sense contributed a lot to that. But it may well be that communities, that's an 11th house thing (Aquarian house) and my moon happens to be in Aquarius but it's in the same house my north node is in, which is the 8th. My moon just describes my fascination with community things. Transforming communities with healing and renewal. It's just that my approach is of course very detached, and anyway, I think people know themselves better, I am just kinda going to share my notes, really. So, this won't be prescriptive, these are just observation notes.