My POV: Waiting in the hospital with Chris and Olivia for the results on my mom, it was very nerve racking to have her in the hospital when she was perfectly breathing like normal. The doctor came into the waiting room and I stood up with tears forming in my eyes.
Me: How is she Doc?
Doctor: Shaynay I'm so sorry to tell you this, ( his voice started to become distorted)
Me: ( shakes my head and cries) Bring her back!
( Chris and Olivia ran over to me and held me in their arms)
My thoughts: This cannot be happening to me right now, my dad died when I was ten and now I lost my mama too? What am I gonna do without my mama?
Me: ( looks up at the doctor) Can I go see her?
Chris: Please doc let her go see her mom, she was all she had left, it's the least you can do.
Doctor: Yes you may, come with me.
( We walked back to her room and she was laying there lifeless, I walked over to her bed and I kissed her forehead and sniffled)
Me: ( rubs her head) Mama I wish I stayed with you, this is all my fault. I hope you know I always loved you and I hope in another life you can find a way to forgive me.
( The doctor walked into the room and touched my shoulder)
Doctor: Ms.Mills, would you like us to arrange for burial for your mother?
Me: No I would like her to be cremated please.
Doctor: Certainly, is there anything that you would like to keep of hers before we go with the procedure?
Me: Yes. ( looked at her and took her wedding ring off and her necklace that my dad gave her before he died)
Doctor: Do you need any more time with her before we go forward?
Me: (shook my head) After you do the cremation I would like you to spread them in the ocean please.
Doctor: Of course, and please feel free to call me if you need anything ok?
Me; ( hugs him and whispered in his ear) Thank you Uncle Travis.
Travis: ( hugs me back) Anytime babygirl, if you need a place to stay you're always welcome.
Me: I'll keep that in mind. I love you Uncle Travis. ( smiles weakly and walked out of her room)
Travis: Love you too sweetheart.
( I walked over to Chris and Olivia and wiped my eyes)
Chris: You ok babe?
Me: I will be eventually.
Olivia: Shaynay, can we talk real quick?
Me: Yeah. ( looks at Chris) I'll meet you at the car ok?
Chris: Okay babe. ( kissed my cheek and walked to the car)
Me: Before you say anything I wanted to say thank you for coming to my house when I called, honestly I wasn't expecting you to answer after we had that argument.
Olivia: You're welcome. ( sighs) We may not see eye to eye all the time but you're still my best friend and I wanted to be there for you especially since you lost your dad a long time ago, I know how it feels.
Me: Well the good thing is that I have my Uncle to help out too.
Olivia: Wait, that doctor was your uncle?
Me: Yeah, he moved down here a couple months ago, I just haven't seen him because I've been busy.
Olivia; Does Chris know that he moved down here?
Me: No but I'm gonna talk to him about it later, by the way he knows about you being bi.
Olivia; Yeah I figured you were gonna tell him about that. ( chuckles)
Me: ( chuckles) Are we gonna be ok from now on?
Olivia; Yeah, I missed you anyway.
Me: Same here. ( gives her a hug and smiles)
Olivia: ( hugs me back smiling) Call me if you need anything ok?
Me: I will.
( I gave her one last hug and then I walked out of the hospital and got in the car with Chris)
Chris: You ready to go home? ( rubs my leg)
Me: ( rubs my eyes sniffling) Can I stay at your house tonight?
Chris: Of course, you don't have to ask me that. Are you hungry?
Me: Maybe later, I just wanna lay down for a while.
Chris: Okay babe, I love you. ( kissed my hand)
Me: Love you too.
( He started up the car and we drove back to his house. Once we got there I took off my shoes and put my purse on the hook, when I walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water I saw his parents)
His dad: Shaynay are you alright?
Me: I'll be fine Mr.Brown, I just need to lay down for a while, please excuse me. ( goes upstairs to Chris's room and turned the light off and laid down in the bed and started crying)
Back downstairs:
His dad: Chris what happened to Shaynay?
Chris: She just lost her mom.
His mom: Oh my poor thing, she gonna end up just like her probably.
Chris: Excuse me ?
His mom: You heard me.
Chris: Mom you need to leave my house.
His mom: ( shocked) Chris, you can't be serious?
Chris: Mom I'm not playing this time, either fix your attitude or you won't be welcome in my home. Dad I'm gonna go check on Shay, can you take mom home please?
His dad: ( nods his head) Let's go Loraine.
His mom: John you really support him
being with her?
His dad: Yes I do, my son is happy and I'm gonna be there for him, either you learn how to be happy for them or you and I need a divorce.
( She shook her head and walked out of the house and sat in the car, my dad followed her and they drove off. After they were gone, Chris walked up to his room and opened the door to see me crying)
Chris: ( laid next to me and held me in his arms) Baby, you ok?
Me: I feel like it's all my fault. ( sniffles)
Chris: No babe it is not your fault, don't talk like that. ( kissed my shoulder) Your mom loved you, she just made mistakes but that doesn't mean you should blame yourself for it.
Me: Can we just lay here? I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
Chris: Of course.
( I ended up falling asleep in his arms and with him I felt safe, he was my peace)
