Tamber<3(Tara x Amber)

-CHAPTER 13-

omg billies new album is so fucking fire I love it and her omg. anyway read.
TW like usual. (this is such an old draft wtf)
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Ambers POV

Tara has left me alone in bed. I don't know where she went but I have no energy to go look. I really want to see if she left the house but I doubt she did. She knows what I would do.

I just laid on the bed for 30 minutes staring at the ceiling. I would get my phone but it's all the way on the nightstand. Plus I would probably get mad a something and that would lead to things.

I don't care I want mg phone. I rolled over and grabbed my phone and immediately went to text Tara to see where she went.

——•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•——
messages
-•-•-
tar<33

me
tar?
wya?

tar<33
i went to go see mindy
don't do anything dumb
I won't be home til 2 something
I love you ambs <33

me
I won't I promise
love you more <333

——•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•——

well we all know what promise I'm not keeping. I already don't eat so yay I so won't be eating today. I hate my stomach so I hate eating. it feels weird. I only eat when 1 Tara forces me to. Or 2 when I'm actually dead hungry. That doesn't happen a lot though.

My pajamas are getting bigger and I'm getting smaller. That's good right? Atleast I'm getting skinny!

Being skinny is so lovely. I makes me feel good but also kinda bad. But I don't care. Being skinny and small is good.

-time skip-

I plug in my speaker and turn my Billie playlist. The first song that comes on is 'listen before i go'. I love this song but it's so sad. I wanna live this song. Especially the ending.

Maybe I should..

call my friends and tell them that I love them, and I'll miss them, but I'm not sorry. Call my friends that I love them, and I'll miss them, sorry. *sirens*

So intriguing. Maybe..

No Tara will be mad.

But it's fine. I want this. Right?

Right?

A few cuts won't hurt. Maybe some pills. It won't hurt. Atleast I'll feel better. No more pain. No more guilt. Free.

Free.

I need to find a blade. Or glass. A knife.

I walk down to the kitchen and go to the knife block. Tara left all the knives in it. How dumb.

I grab one and go upstairs to the bathroom. I roll up my pants and start going over all the old cuts. Reopening them.

The pain is comforting. The cold metal of the knife on my skin feels nice. My arms look empty. Maybe I should get them too.

Free.

I tap my phone to see the time. It's almost 2pm and Tara's going to be home soon. the pills will make the process go faster so I don't have to see her look at me. My body is very weak but I'm able to stand for just enough time to grab my pills. My anti depressants.

I take about 6 in my hand and swallow all of them. At the same time is when I hear the front door knob twist.

"Amber I'm home!" Tara yells. Fuck.

Oh well atleast I'm free.

Free.

"Amber! I got food! Come down!" Tara yells again. These fucking pills need to hurry. I hear Tara running up the stairs and bursting through every door until she gets to the bathroom.

"Amber! Open the door please!" Tara screams. She's crying I can tell. Now I feel bad. I finally fall into the black void. Hopefully of death this time.

Tara's POV

"Amber!" I scream when I open the door. "Fuck fuck fuck where's my phone!" I find my phone and call 911.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Please hurry and come to *whatever her address is* M-my girlfriend- she-she needs an ambulance! Please hurry!"

"Okay maam what's going on with her? An ambulance is on the way but what's her condition?"

"She-she's cut herself on her thighs and arms and I think she took some pills please just hurry! I-i can't lose her!"

"Okay baby, tell me how old are you?"

"I-I'm 18 she's 19"

"Oh god okay, uhm are you able to pick her up and take her downstairs? It'll be easier for when paramedics get there"

"Um-uh yea I can"

"Okay baby good. Can you stop the bleeding of her cuts? How deep are they?"

"S-some are pretty deep b-but overall not bad I can probably stop it"

"Okay do that for me"

I go to get some kitchen towels and pat over her cuts with them. I lay some over her legs and arms so it'll soak up the blood.

"I-i did it. How long will it be til they get here?"

"They'll be there soon in like 2 minutes don't worry baby"

"Thank god"

Two minutes later there's knocks at my door. I hurry and open it and the paramedics take Amber away. I go to and sit in the back with her while the paramedics do what they do.

please be okay.
–——•——–•–——•
draft that i just finished...
guys idfk anymore😭
i wanna continue this but i also dont know because im barely on here anymore...
i wanna be kind to you guys though so i'll make at least one more chapter and probably make a new book.
it can be a billie book or a reneé book. y'all's pick
924 words