Tim's pov:
I know there's more to the story about Chen, the way she looked at the glass was sickening, her fists clenching together to not take the glass, what the hell was going on?
T: what happened yesterday day?
L: I already told you? I panicked, that's all
T: no it's not, the way you looked at the glass was insane!
L: what are you accusing me of?!
I could feel Chen getting worked up, I knew that it wasn't a good idea to push it but I needed it
T: the glass, were you trying to not cut yourself with it?
L: why would I cut myself?
T: I don't know, you tell me
Lucy didn't answer, she just saw there tapping her fingers, her thumb to her index finger, then her middle finger and at last her little finger, skipping her ring finger.
Lucy's pov:
I can't talk about this, about cutting myself, I haven't done it in two years, my scars are almost completely faded. Why would I cut myself? Bradford was too pushy, I was afraid he was going to hurt me like Marc. Bradford pulled over, and asked again
T: Chen have you ever hurt yourself?
I didn't want to answer, but I needed to say something.
L: I didn't hurt myself that day?! Can't you just drop this?
I felt an episode coming, god this wasn't good.
T: I'm sorry, I just.. I'm sorry.
Bradford started to drive again, my breathing got harder and I really felt panicked, again. I took the hairband on my wrist and released it, over and over trying to do it as quiet as possible. I finally relaxed and we got a call, then it was lunchtime.
T: lunch?
L: uhm yeah.
I wasn't hungry, I've had problems eating, my BPD made it uncontrollable for me to think straight about my body, when I get angry I throw something, when I'm sad,I cut and when I'm scared or nervous I don't eat, it's just how my life is.
T: aren't you going to eat?
L: I'm... Not hungry
I couldn't eat, I needed to not eat, to loose weight again.
Tim's pov:
Somethings of, Chen's not eating and I'm not doing anything about it.
T: Chen eat something, it's an order
L: fine
I saw how Chen reluctantly ordered a salad and slowly ate it, he hand was shaking slightly but I didn't think much of it, then Harper and Lopez came to me.
H: how's the hotshot?
T: she's uhm.. I mean, she's a good cop, a great one, but she has problems
A: what kind?
T: I- I can't tell you, you'll have to ask her, it's personal
H: okay, are you... Worried?
T: no, it's just she did something in the shop which made me question her.
A: well, is it bad?
T: I don't know, I'm just as confused as you are
H: okay, good luck.
We were done eating.
Lucy's pov:
I didn't want to eat, but I had no choice, I looked down and started eating my salad, my hand was shaking but I managed it quite well to be honest. I finished my food and heard Bradford yell, I flinched.
T: let's go, boot!
L: yes sir.
I quickly walked to the shop and we started patrolling again, it actually went great and I handled the situations good without panicking, my work was starting to show. My shift ended and I went to the locker rooms where I met Lopez and Harper.
H: hey Chen
L: hello
A: you good?
L: yeah why wouldn't I?
H: we don't know
I noticed Lopez looking at my wrist, she was looking at the hairband and the red spot caused by releasing it on my wrist.
A: what's that?
Angela pointed at the hairband and smiled, to not make things serious.
L: it's nothing, I said hiding my hands in my pockets.
H: okay... Well, we thought we'd ask you if you wanted to go out with us tonight, you know, to get to know each other?
L: I guess that could work, where are we going?
A: you'll see
Angela smirked, I was smiling and excited, but I still somehow felt a panic, I took the hairband again and it helped.
Lucy's pov:
Lucy, Angela and Nyla went to a bar and drank a few drink, but not that much so they weren't drunk.
A: okay so Lucy, why did you become a cop?
I couldn't tell them about Marc, it's too early for them to know.
L: both my parents are therapists so I spent my childhood as an emotional experiment which I hated, and I guess I just realized what I wanted to work as since this has been my only dream.
A: emotional experiment? How?
L: they tested different theories, like how children behave of they're allowed to talk or not, test like that and stuff
H: ohh, but it's fine now, right?
L: uhm yeah, yeah, it's good.
I don't know if it was my parents who triggered my BPD, it's so unclear why I got the disorder in the first place. We had a few more drinks and chatted, it was nice, but then we need to go home so we said our goodbyes. I got home to Jackson, he had made some food for us so we ate and then went to bed. I woke up early and couldn't fall asleep again so I got up and made coffee and surprised Jackson.
L: good morning, here's your coffee
J: oh wow, look who's up early today
L: yeah, I couldn't fall asleep again.
We ate breakfast and then went to work.
Tim's pov:
I woke up to a message from Angela
Ange🤘🏻🤟🏻
Hey, went out with Chen and Harper last night, Chen said she grew up as a emotional science experiment, you think she's telling the truth?
To be honest I don't know, I mean she's a great liar and has been through much, I just can't see through her lies.
Okay, well in that case maybe you should take her out to drinks tomorrow or something
Yeah maybe, I'll see what I can do, see you soon
Yeah, see ya.
. .
I went to work as usual, Chen was actually not that bad except that she talks way to much some times, it can get annoying but she's a great cop. I went to rollcall
G: night shift did their work tonight, That's it, dismissed.
T: load the shop!
L: yes sir.
Chen flinched, again. Does she think I'm going to hit her? I got to the shop and started driving.
T: why do you keep flinching? Do you think I'm going to hit you?
L: no sir, I don't know
T: stop lying.
L: I'm not, please just drop it
T: fine, okay, but tell me if someone's hurting you
L: yes sir.
I know something's wrong, she shouldn't keep flinching this much even after that weird relationship.
