Lucy's pov:
Z: do you believe they were right?
L: I don't kn-
Z: I've seen you around food, how uncomfortable you get and I've also seen you avoiding meals and throwing up after you've ate. I'm worried about you Lucy
L: I can't help it
Z: I know, how about we go to station and patrol together?
L: yes please
We went to the station and started patrolling, since we had the morning of lunch came a lot faster than usual. Zoe needed to do some paperwork in her office so she went to the station while I met up with the rest of the crew.
J: what do you want to eat?
L: I'm not hungry, I'll wait at the table
JN: okay, Jackson what are you ordering?
J: a plain burger, you?
JN: same
Just then Bradford, Harper and Lopez came in their shops and ordered their food, They sat besides me.
A: you not hungry?
L: no, I ate a big breakfast
I lied, as hungry as I was I still needed to lose weight even though everyone says I don't need it. Jackson and John arrived
T: plain burgers? How boring
J: yeah well it's tasty
T: right.
L: im just gonna go to the bathroom really quick
TW
I felt really bad, the men's hands on my made me want to puke and out of no where I sysselsatt got an urge to do something I never ever thought I'd consider again. I found my eyebrow knife in my makeup bag and locked my self in a bathroom stall. Without even thinking about it, the blade was against my skin making blood gently pour out of my arm. It quickly escalated to two cute, three, four, I lost count, but it was enough for me to put the knife down and rinse and bandage my arm. I walked towards the table where the other ones are their lunch.
L: hey I'm back
T: hey, come here
Tim gestured for me to sit besides him and I quickly sat down there and he put his arm around me, making me feel safe and loved.
T: you good?
L: yeah, I'm great
T: good, by the way what do you say about a movie night at my place tonight?
L: yeah I'd love that, what time should I be there?
T: whenever, maybe around 7 so we can eat dinner too?
L: yeah, that could work
T: great, I'll see you tonight
A: ugh you two make me sick by all that love, and Tim being a decent human being is actually freaking me out
T: I'm always human
A: you're never soft, except with Lucy
T: yep, Lucy deserves softie me
We finished our shift and then I went home to prepare myself for dinner with Tim. I put on this beautiful short sleeved silver dress but because of my fresh wounds, I also put on a zip hoodie. After a few hours I was done the clock was 6:45pm and I started driving to Tim's house. I arrived and knocked on the door.
T: hey
L: hi
T: you look beautiful, really
L: thanks, you don't look so bad either
T: good, I made pasta carbonara
L: great
I have Tim a short but loving kiss on the lips
Tim's pov:
Lucy's behaving different, she much more quiet but I don't know if I should confront her
T: you sure you're good?
L: yeah why wouldn't I?
She was almost angry with me asking, Lucy don't in a irritated voice
T: sorry, you just- sorry
L: no, say what you were going to say
T: you're behaving weird
L: is that all? I'm behaving weird? Well guess what, I can have off days without anything special going on
T: I know, I'm sorry
L: you know what, this wasn't a good idea, I think I'll go home
T: no please, I'm sorry
She just stormed out, I've never seen her like this before so my mind was racing at all the possibilities of what could be wrong. I decided to wait to see if she was better in the morning.
Lucy's pov:
I drove home with tears streaming down my face, not thinking about what I just did to my amazing relationship. I pulled up at my apartment and walked inside. Without hesitation, I took my blade and removed my zip hoodie, and I started making cuts on my arms while blood dropped on to the floor. The space quickly emptied so I rolled my dress up, making my thighs available for more torture. After a few minutes, I put the blade down and sobbed as blood ran on my arms and legs. I made an impromptu decision to call Zoe so she could help me.
Zoe❤️
L: hey
Z: hey, what happened? It sounds like you're crying
L: can you come to my apartment, please
Z: yeah of course, I'll be there soon but can you tell me why you're crying?
L: I-I couldn't help it, I didn't mean to
Z: you didn't mean to what?
L: I needed it, I couldn't help it
I cried in to the phone. Soon after, Zoe ran inside my apartment without even knocking and found me on the bathroom floor.
Z: OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED?!
L: I couldn't help it
Z: I know, let's get you cleaned up.
Zoe washed my arms and legs with a wet cloth and she bandaged me before we sat down and talked
Z: what happened? I thought everything was good?
L: at lunch I panicked and it just happened and I-I
Z: at lunch? Just after I got to my office to do paperwork?
L: yeah, so I did a few then and Tim wanted to watch a movie tonight so I dressed up and went to him and I was in such a bad mood and got angry because of literally nothing and screamed at him, then I left and did this!
I cried heavily while I explained to Zoe what happened and she confirmed me
Z: it's okay, you know, to fall back, to not be okay all the t-
The doorbell rang
Z: did you call anyone else?
L: no you're the only person, would you mind to go open the door
Z: of course
Zoe got up and opened the door to unexpectedly meet Tim
Z: it's Tim! Can he come in?
She asked me
L: uhm yeah..
Tim walked towards the sofa and then saw me, all bandaged up and with mascara running down my face
T: Lucy oh my god are you okay? Was this me? Did I do something?
L: no it's-it's fine I relapsed att lunch today and went all ballistics on you, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be so rude, you were so nice and understanding
T: it's okay Luce, it's okay
He hugged me tightly to make sure I was okay, and I responded with wrapping my arms around him. Zoe saw us and let out a small smile, she was proud over what we had become together.
Z: you good Lucy?
L: I will be
Z: good
All three of us sat down in the sofa again and I laid on Tim's chest while he stroked my hair.
Z: great, I'm the third wheel
L: if it makes you feel any better I love you two equally and you should really sir close to me because- well yeah, you're my best friend
Z: it actually does, what do you want to watch?
T: Lucy probably wants to watch Castle
Z: yeah me too, Castle it is
L: yay
We watched three episodes then Zoe and I fell asleep, Tim first carried me to my bed and kissed me goodnight, he then picked up Zoe and carried her to the guest room and tucked her in. Tim went to bed next to me. The next morning Tim and I woke up at the same time to the smell of pancakes
