ROSIER

25

Ruins
...

Gwen didn't know how much time passed until she wasn't alone anymore. Or how many vibrations she felt from the ground until silence broke in. Or when the ringing in her ears was replaced by a state of deafness only bettering on her left ear but staying on her right one. It all came back at once. The sounds, the company, and lastly, the realization of self.

She could see Remus standing in front of her. He was covered in ashes that tinted his pale skin and the white waiter's clothes. She remembered Slughorn's Christmas party and wondered how many hours must have passed from what felt like centuries ago.

"What are you doing here?" Remus shouted, and she wasn't sure if he did it from anger or her partial deafness. His voice broke, and she could do nothing but blink up at him. "I thought you were still inside... I thought you were... What were you thinking? I was looking everywhere for you, and... and..."

Gwen opened her mouth, but her voice was unable to produce a sound. She looked up at him. Tears were visible in the reddish colour around his eyes, and suddenly, the cold ground was not enough to hold her anymore.
The blonde pulled herself up and wrapped her arms around her friend. His body was warm as always, wasting no time to share some of it with her freezing one. She buried her face in the crook of his neck where strands of his hair softly poked her skin. He smelled like smoke and fire, like death and despair, but most importantly, she could still smell him. The comforting scent her little world was spinning around. Where everything was safe, and nothing could hurt. There were no tears left to cry. His arms mended every broken bone in her body and every part that gave her a reason to cry.

Gwen decided the space between his arms must have some magic to it. The ability to shield the bad as long as she stayed right there. And if it were a possibility, then she would've chosen it. Would've spent the rest of her life in this hug.

But she had to face the aftermath of her deeds eventually.

"It's all my fault," Gwen admitted. She felt the cold rush right back into her bones when she let go of his embrace.

"Don't say that," Remus spoke softly. "Don't blame yourself for this."

"I killed them." The blonde breathed out. Her voice was quiet like she was speaking a curse. "The old lady and Red. Who knows how many more. Remus, I killed them. I killed them all."

The boy pulled her into another hug. Not as desperate as the one before but just as meaningful. She felt his hand draw slow circles on her back while the other gently caressed her hair. "All of us made it out in time," Remus whispered. His lips were close to her ear. His head leaned against hers. "The Aurors apparated when the first explosion happened. As far as I could tell, only Red and the old lady didn't make it out. That's not your fault. You were trying to help her."

"I killed them."

"No, you made sure to prevent Red from causing any more harm to that poor woman." Remus cupped her face. He used his thumb to clean off some of the dust tinting her skin before inspecting the dried blood seeping from her ears. "The Pension was an old building. It wasn't your intention to cause a collapse."
Gwen didn't find words to answer with. Instead, she concentrated on his voice and his touch and imagined how sweet it would be to believe him. "We should go home now."

Despite saying this, both lingered in the embrace a little longer, and even when they finally pulled apart, they never truly let go of one another. They sneaked their way back to Hogwarts, and the boy made sure she wouldn't see the ruins of the Pension. It was the giant cloud of smoke touching the grey morning sky he couldn't hide.

The hallways of the school were still empty. Most students were wrapped in their blankets sleeping with no clue of what happened so close by. Dorcas and Emmeline were waiting at the entrance. They were similarly covered in ashes with the real box right between them.