I'm Not For You

An Example...

☆I'm sorry for making you all suffer with the last chapter I fell asleep☆

-Can I serve you another one? - A typical bartender asked a certain brunette who had been drinking at the bar for several hours. Actually she hadn't taken much, but the glasses lasted quite a long time, usually it was only two or three or less if the beating arrived earlier.

Engfa nodded and ran her glass so that the man put the liquid that was inside the container, she didn't care that she drank as long as it was strong and did much less the time to receive the blows.

Once she had a full glass, she looked at the bar where she had arrived after walking for several hours. It wasn't as crowded as the ones she used to enter more often, but at least there were quite a few groups that could be useful to her. Engfa gave a drink to her drink and the white alcohol and burned her throat. She shook her head and put up with it, after all it was the least she deserved for doing what she did, the fire that burned her mouth was nothing compared to what she had done to Charlotte.

- Shit! - Engfa hit the bar attracting the attention of the bartender and the occasional lonely drunk

- Shit! - she hit it again.

- Hey friend! - The bartender had a face of little patience

-The one who breaks pays,- he warned her in front of the bottles and glasses that the brunette made tremble with each blow.

Engfa didn't even look at the man. She put her elbows on the bar and her head in her hands. Even though she had walked for hours, she couldn't get rid of the guilt she had on her chest. She didn't understand how she was so stupid to ruin Charlotte's life that way. Engfa knew that she was not intelligent and that she needed more time than the others to decide and think about things, she knew that the only thing she could do was drawings, paintings and tattoos and even so she preferred to refrain from any type of conversation so as not to be embarrassed. She just didn't consider herself worthy of being heard, or at least when she was a girl, silence was the only thing that took her somewhere. The brunette was always the favorite of the people who ran the children on the street, the brunette simply lowered her head and did what she was asked to do and when she didn't like something she ran away and that's why she spent so little time being part of the groups. Engfa was not intelligent but she was sufficiently aware to know that if you complained, the -substances of yes-, as she called the drugs that injected them so that they would not be armed rebellions, they came and Engfa did not like that. The tattoo artist was not intelligent but she was insightful enough to do what the housekeeper who abused her asked her to do. Engfa already knew that the woman was going to do whatever she wanted with or without her consent. In fact, more than once she had been unable to sit for several weeks because of refusing to collaborate with her and Engfa didn't like that either, so she simply bowed her head and did what was asked until something happened and she could flee the place or maybe she was lucky and went to go to jail or the hospital and managed to be changed home or foster home.

But now it had gone too far, now her stupidity had hit rock bottom, now Engfa had ruined the only beautiful thing that had happened to her in her life. Engfa had made Charlotte pregnant

- Shit! - she hit the bar again

- Hey! It's the last time I warn you! - the bartender yelled at her

Engfa ignored it again. She was used to acting by instinct. Engfa was like a little animal that is always careful not to fall into a trap. At first she kept away, then she got closer little by little, if something smelled bad she would move away and she didn't end up getting closer. Those were her basic principles, that's how she had grown and that's how she had managed to stay safe and sound, of course for the people who usually saw her face, the latter was not fulfilling it. But basically the brunette did what she thought, and that's what she did with Charlotte, what she thought. Engfa should never have had to stop wearing protection no matter how much she didn't like to do it. She should have thought of Charlotte, she should have taken care of Charlotte as if the redhead was the last drop of water on planet earth. Engfa should have protected the most important thing she had. But she didn't do it, she let herself be carried away by the place, if Jane found out she was going to kill her and if Sister Ana found out she was going to be disappoint in her. Engfa shook her head thinking about the twins, it was the two of them who had taught the brunette the importance of protection in sexual relations and now Engfa had not listened to them and had ruined it.