Essence of Demise | ThirdUnion

19: Casually Detaching

Reich didn't want to wake up. He didn't want to get out of bed, but he had too.

Today was like any other day. He needed to get working before the sun would even rise.

So much planning and reading and writing- and more- all for a little, tired German. He already wasn't sleeping well. Not when a baby and his stressful mind kept him awake all night. But now he doesn't even have time to sleep.

He was feeling some waves of loneliness, and even despair, hit him. As he just yearned for someone to hold him. But no one was there to do that for him.

He would be foolish to think Soviet would help him. Why would Soviet even care about this? The Russian probably didn't know he was pregnant again. But he had to know at least about that, right? Why wouldn't he?

Reich spent his morning running around, moving from different places around his home.

He hadn't seen Russia or Ukraine for a while now. As the two young children had been doing almost as much work as he had been.

It was hard for the German to make it for meals now. It was pretty normal for him to at least miss breakfast and sometimes even lunch. He always ate at least once during the day, but he rarely found time too.

With the lack of attention from their mother, Russia and Ukraine had been acting out more.

In their little minds, papa was out on a business trip, and mama was hiding from them.

When the German stopped showing up for breakfast, goodness the kids were ecstatic.

Where had their mama gone?! Why was he hiding from them?!

Their sour attitudes from breakfast would carry on through the day. They would refuse to do their studies, and would sometimes even run away from their teachers.

Reich had no words. He wasn't exactly expecting this reaction from his usually well behaved kids. But he also couldn't really blame them for acting out when neither of their parents ever seemed to be around.

Belarus was growing quickly it seemed, and it only made Reich feel even more upset. He was missing so many precious moments with her, all because he wasn't around to see them.

How was Soviet okay with this lifestyle? How is he fine with losing these precious moments with his children?

Does he deem it unnecessary to see a child's first steps, or to hear their first words?

Reich just couldn't wrap his head around it, and he was honestly completely done with his relationship with Soviet.

Though he could never say that out loud. Who knows how badly Soviet would explode at the German's words. But how was he expected to stay in love with someone who he never heard from, never saw, and rarely interacted with?

Perhaps he regains a bit of his love for the Russian when he comes home, but that love dies quickly. Soviet never stayed long enough for Reich to fall back in love with him. And at this point it really seemed like Soviet didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

When he does come home, he goes straight to work or the bar. He barely gives an understandable hello to Reich, before he goes off to do something else.

Reich was not important in his mind. Why was the German even around? Perhaps to fulfill some strange desire Soviet had? But how could he do that when Soviet wasn't even around!?

Reich sulked around, feeling quite bored. He was tired, very hungry, sick of the work he was getting, and awaiting to hear which of his kids ran off today