Bad Idea, Right? • shameless uk

001 - blowjob Karen

Series One – Pilot

Meet Kodi Ball (Meet the Gallaghers)

KODI BALL WAS RUNNING DOWN THE STREETS, a shopping bag full of clothes clutched tightly in her hand. She’d just lifted some money from a young couple’s back pocket—along with their shopping—and was now sprinting away before they even realised what happened.

She was so focused on her escape that she didn’t even notice Lip Gallagher walking up the street. Lip barely had time to react before Kodi crashed into him, knocking them both flat on the pavement.

Groaning, Kodi looked up.

"Alright, Kodi?" Lip asked with a chuckle.

"Help me up then, will ya?" she grumbled, shoving at his shoulder.

Lip pulled her up and immediately clocked the bag in her grip.

"What’ve you gone and done now?" he asked, amusement laced in his voice.

Kodi shot him a look, feigning innocence. "What makes you think I’ve done something?"

"You tell me," he said, eyeing her. "Where’d you get the money for all this?"

Kodi dodged. "Where you off to, then?" she asked, changing the subject.

Lip narrowed his eyes but played along. "Helping Karen with her homework."

Kodi snorted. "Blowjob Karen?" she asked, smirking. "Have fun then."

Lip frowned. "Why d’you call her Blowjob Karen?"

Kodi just shrugged and jogged off, continuing down the street like nothing had happened.

Lip shook his head, chuckling to himself. "Blowjob Karen," he muttered, before heading off in the opposite direction.

KODI WALKED THROUGH CHATSWORTH, nearing her home, but changed her mind halfway and turned towards the Gallaghers’ instead. She knocked on the door of the familiar council house.

Fiona opened it a moment later. "Hiya love, you know you don’t need to knock," she smiled.

Kodi grinned and sauntered inside, still gripping the shopping bag.

Fiona raised an eyebrow. "What’ve you got there?"

Kodi handed it over proudly. "Nicked it off some couple."

Curious, Fiona rifled through the bag—and her eyes widened. "Holy shit," she breathed.

Kodi laughed, clearly chuffed with herself. The two of them began sorting through the clothes together, admiring the new additions.

Kodi held up a stunning red dress. "Fi, wear this tonight. It’ll look amazing on you."

Fiona hesitated. "I dunno. You think it’d suit me? I’m not exactly... blessed in the chest department."

"Don’t be thick," Kodi shot back. "You’ve got just the right amount of breastiness for that dress."

Fiona burst out laughing. "Alright, you muppet. Gimme the dress!" She held it up admiringly. "O’i, Veronica’ll kill me if I don’t show her what we got."

Kodi nodded, turning to leave. As she reached the door, Fiona called after her.

"Oi! Do you know if Lip’ll be home tonight?"

Kodi shrugged. "Not sure."

Fiona sighed. "Ahh... could you maybe watch the kids later? I dunno if Lip or Ian’ll be back."

Kodi smiled. "Sure, Fiona."

Fiona hugged her gratefully before heading upstairs to get ready. Kodi headed next door to her own place, the flat she shared with her uncle Kev and Veronica.

As she stepped inside, she was greeted by a grim sight—Kev and Veronica making out on the couch like horny teenagers.

"Gross. Child present," Kodi announced, wrinkling her nose.

Kev glanced up. "You weren’t here a minute ago."

Veronica laughed, pulling away from Kev.

Kodi rolled her eyes. "Still gross. Anyway, I’ve got a bag of clothes. V, thought you’d want to go through ’em."

Veronica leapt up eagerly, practically snatching the bag from her hands.

Kev groaned as she left his lap, shooting Kodi a mock glare. "You’re a menace."

Kodi just grinned and wandered into the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge.

Veronica held up a top, inspecting it. "Is this gonna have the coppers knocking at our door?"

"Nah," Kodi replied with a smirk. "We’re sweet."

And honestly? They probably were. Because on the Chatsworth Estate, things like this weren’t that out of the ordinary. Trouble had a way of sticking to the Gallagher and Ball families—but they always found a way to laugh through it.