A sin

Chapter 5: A sin

It's been 3 days now. I haven't seen him since the day he walked out from the door. I've been trying to catch a glimpse of him whenever he goes somewhere outside or when he comes back. But neither he speaks to me nor he looks at me. But why does it hurt so much? We just met for a day? Why would I want him in my life when he's clearly showing his disinterest in me? Am I in love or is it just an attraction?

I had just arrived from my classes and I was returning back to my apartment. Since, I had sprained my legs while running for the bus to catch, I decided to take the elevator.
I got Inside the elevator, and was waiting for it close but when it did, a hand reached out to stop it. When it opened, my body started sweating. It was him.

I stood awkwardly beside him. My heart told me to talk to him and ask how he was doing but my mind said otherwise.
He seemed to act normal, more like 'cold' if that's correct and it made my heart ache.
At last, I listened to my heart.

"Why-why are you ignoring me?" As soon as I realised that it was the wrong question I asked, I cursed myself for being a fool.
He turns his head to me and smiles like it was the most weird and awkward question he ever got asked in his life. "Pardon?" He asked in his deep voice.
I cleared my throat "you heard me" I looked away.

"What do you mean "ignoring you"?" He looks at me. It's the same expression he gave when he left my room that day.
"Like- like- you know what I'm talking about" I mumbled while getting more embarrassed, because I have to explain him about it.
He nods to himself before speaking. "Look- you really don't have to overthink about.....you know whatever happened last time. Okay?" He looks at me. "And- and- you're too young to understand these things and you shouldn't get involved in it" he smiles before the elevator door opens. He steps out and I follow him.

I rushed behind him "But- but I thought you liked me-". "And how did you know that?" He says in a stern voice but with has his expression gentle.
"I-" I ran out of my words. "I just.... thought...." I mumbled and looked down, almost tearing up. "look at me Yuri" he says in a commanding voice. "Come on look at me" he says in a gentler way so I slowly looked up at him and he continues "It's alright- every teen goes through hormones I-" "okay stop- stop- I get it" I mumbled and took a deep breath.

I'm already embarrassed and I wanted to disappear right away and make things as it was before. But somehow I still have something for him. We both stood silent for a minute, I took a step forward, and held his big hand. I feel safe with him. I want plenty of attention from him, I want to be hugged by him. I want to be loved by him, I want to be kissed every inch of skin by him, I want him to make me his and I want to make him mine....but it's not possible. Or is it?

I quietly and gently hugged him, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I feel his body getting stiff and hard but his soft hand gently rubs the back of mine.
"I know you like me" he says in his deep voice
"And I appreciate that but dear, you're still young for me- even if we don't date and if people sees us, there'll be a major problem for both of us, especially for my company. I would face a big loss" he explains yet still holding me in his arms. "But I'll be 18 in the next month" I whined a little. "Yes- yes you will be- but 18 is still young for me-" I stopped hugging him and pushed myself back from him.

He starts getting stressed "Hey- please- please listen to me once-". "If- if that's the problem then....then... rubbish- whatever I'm doing right now is rubbish and-and literally stupid...." I laugh a little.
"You don't like me the way I do- how selfish of me to only care about my feelings and not yours" I bit down my lips and hold back my tears.

"I'm sorry Mr. Marcus- I'm sorry" I mumbled as I looked at him being speechless.
"Uhm-" I cleared my throat and looked at him.
"I'll get.... going" I give him a quick smile and headed towards my room.
That was the last time I ever saw him since he left his friend's apartment and I guess he went back to his CEO life.

Will we meet again or never?