𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐘, ronance

ONE

CONTENT WARNING: this chapter will contain a depiction of self-harm and depression. please take care of yourself and consider whether you are comfortable with proceeding.

۵

the halls of hawkins high buzz with the usual cacophony of voices and footsteps as students shuffle from one lesson to another.

i keep my head down as i navigate the crowded corridors, trying to ignore the curious glances and whispered murmurs that follow me wherever i go.

"nance, slow down!"

i glance over my shoulder to see robin hurrying to catch up with me, her bass guitar slung over her shoulder. despite her best efforts to hide it, i can see the worry etched in the lines of her face.

"how are you holding up, love?" she asks softly, falling into step beside me as we make our way to our first class of the day.

i force a smile, trying to push aside the memories of the accident. "fine, thanks," i lie, my voice ringing hollow even in my own ears.

but robin isn't fooled by my feeble attempts at reassurance. she reaches out across my chest and stops me in the middle of the hallway.

"you don't have to pretend with me, nance," she says gently. "i know it's been tough."

i swallow the lump that forms in my throat, unable to meet her gaze as the guilt threatens to overwhelm me once again. "i just can't stop thinking about it," i admit. "if i had been more careful, if i had—"

robin cuts me off with a shake of her head, her eyes filled with compassion. "nancy, stop," she says firmly. "it wasn't your fault. you couldn't have predicted what happened."

but try as i might, i can't shake the feeling of responsibility that weighs heavy on my shoulders.

every time i close my eyes, i see the twisted wreckage of the car, hear the sound of metal scraping against asphalt— feel the weight of robin's life in my hands.

as we settle into our seats in class, i try to focus on the lesson at hand, but my mind refuses to cooperate.

the words on the chalkboard blur into incomprehensible shapes, the drone of the professor's voice fading into the background as my thoughts drift elsewhere.

i rest my head on my desk, closing my eyes in a futile attempt to block out the memories that try to claim my thoughts.

sleep beckons like a siren's call, offering temporary respite from the turmoil raging inside my head.

but even in my dreams, i find no solace.

shadows dance on the edges of my consciousness, whispering dark secrets and half-formed thoughts that i dare not acknowledge in the light of day.

i wake with a start as the bell rings, jolting me back to reality with the harsh reminder of the world outside. robin glances at me as i blink away the remnants of sleep, her brow furrowed with worry.

but before she can ask if i'm alright, i make a beeline for the door, leaving robin and the professor speechless.

back at our flat, the silence hangs heavy between us, a tangible barrier that neither of us knows how to breach.