𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐘, ronance

SIX

the knock on the door startles me, pulling me out of the daze that has consumed me since my talk with mike.

i glance up from where i sit on the sofa, my heart pounding in my chest as i watch my mother cross the room to answer it.

dr alloway stands on the other side, her expression grave as she steps into the house.

"nancy," she says softly, her voice gentle but firm. "your mother called me asking that i make a house visit. is that alright with you?"

i nod, my throat tight with emotion as i watch her approach. dr alloway settles herself in the armchair across from me, her gaze steady as she meets my eyes.

"how are you feeling?" she asks.

i swallow hard, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me as i struggle to find the words. instead, i just shrug.

dr alloway nods in understanding, her expression sympathetic as she reaches out to squeeze my hand in a silent gesture of comfort.

"that's alright," she says softly. "you don't have to have all the answers right now. but can you tell me what happened?"

i recount the events as best as i can, my voice shaking with emotion as i relive the pain that drove me to such drastic action.

but as i speak, i feel relief beneath the pain, the burden lifting ever so slightly with each word that spills from my lips. and for the first time since it happened, i feel heard, truly heard.

but i can still feel my mum's eyes burning into the back of my head, her presence a constant reminder of the scrutiny that i'm under.

i try to block her out, to focus on dr alloway's voice as she guides me through the conversation, but it's so difficult with her disapproving gaze bearing down on me.

"i just don't see why you did it, it's not that bad," mother mumbles, her arms crossed.

dr alloway turns to her abruptly, her tone firm but soft at the same time. "karen," she says gently. "i appreciate your concern, but i need you to let nancy speak for herself. she needs to be able to express herself freely, without fear of judgement or interference."

my mother bristles at her words, her jaw clenched with anger as she opens her mouth to speak. but dr alloway holds up a hand to silence her, her gaze steady as she meets my mum's eyes.

"i understand that you're concerned for nancy, but i'm going to ask that you leave the room so that she may speak freely."

her jaw clenches as she glances between dr alloway and me, but reluctantly, drops her hands and slams the door shut behind her with a resounding thud.

dr alloway's expression softens as she turns back to me, her eyes warm with understanding. "now," she says cheerfully. "why don't you tell me about yesterday. what did you do?"

i take a deep breath, the memories of the day flooding back to me, and smile. "robin, holly, and i went to the park," i say, my voice tinged with nostalgia. "and then we got ice lollies— holly wanted the blue one, of course."

dr alloway laughs quietly, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "of course," she says, her voice filled with warmth. "and what were you feeling with holly and robin?"