𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐘, ronance

TWO

the therapist's office is a sanctuary of calm amidst the chaos that swirls within me. i sink into the beaten sofa, the soft fabric a comforting embrace that offers solace in the midst of my turmoil.

dr alloway sits across from me, spinning a pencil between her fingers as she watches me carefully while she waits for me to speak.

i take a deep breath, the weight of my words heavy on my tongue.

"i don't know where to start," i admit, my voice shaking.

dr alloway nods, her expression encouraging. "that's alright, nancy. we can take it one step at a time. why don't you tell me how you've been feeling lately?"

i hesitate, the floodgates of my emotions threatening to burst open at any moment. but with a silent nod of encouragement from dr alloway, i begin to speak, the words tumbling out in a torrent of syllables.

"i feel... lost," i say. "like i'm drowning and i can't find my way to the surface. i... hurt myself. and every day feels like a battle just to get out of bed, and even then, i'm not sure it's worth it."

dr alloway listens intently, her eyes never leaving mine as i lay bare the depths of my despair. she doesn't offer platitudes or empty reassurances, but simply sits with me in my pain, a silent witness to the storm that rages inside me.

"it sounds like you're in a lot of pain, nancy," she says softly. "but i want you to know you're not alone. i'm here to help you navigate these emotions."

tears prick at the corners of my eyes, the weight of dr alloway's words like a lifeline in the darkness.

she offers me a soft, understanding smile, her eyes filled with compassion. "do you have anyone you can talk to outside of our sessions? a friend, a family member, someone you trust?"

i pause, considering her question carefully. there's only one person who comes to mind, one person who has been with me through everything.

"my girlfriend, robin," i say quietly, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. "we live together."

dr alloway nods with another encouraging expression, "tell me about her."

and so i begin, rambling on about the love of my life.

"she means everything to me," i start, playing with the hems of my sleeves. "we were friends for awhile, but then we started dating. we've always had this... connection, y'know? like we can read each other's minds without even saying a word."

dr alloway nods, leaning forward, her eyes filled with genuine interest.

"whenever i'm feeling overwhelmed or lost, i know i can count on her to be there for me. she's always ready to listen, and we're always together, doing stupid stuff and making memories."

i pause, a memory coming across my mind like a film reel.

"there was this one time i was feeling particularly poorly, and robin went to the shops and got my favourite pint of ice cream and rented a rom-com. we spent the whole night crying and laughing and eating way too much junk food."

dr alloway smiles, her eyes crinkling in the corners. "it sounds like you are really close."

i nod. "we are," i whisper, "and it's not just the big gestures either," i continue, diving further into my ramblings. "it's the little things, like the way she always knows when i need a hug or a shoulder to cry on, even before i do. or the way she'll drop everything to spend time with me, even when she has a million other things on her plate."