The Love We Give

Flashback 01 - Rejection

TW homphobia

This is the first flashback chapter of the story, taking place approximately two years before chapter 1.
We get to explore some of Sira's time in the Military Police and bit of a background story on her.

Song recommendation for this chapter:
"Solas" by Jamie Duffy

Name: Smith, Sira

Date of Birth: March 23, 823

Age: 18

Position: Military Police Brigade, Stohess District

Applying for relocation to: Survey Corps, Trost District

Status: DENIED

She crumpled the letter up with her hands, tossing it angrily to the ground. Denied. Again. Year after year Sira had tried to apply for a relocation. Usually, no sane person would want to trade their position in the Military Police Brigade for the Survey Scouts. Usually, no one would have batted an eye and approved of a suicide request like that. The higher ranks never cared about someone wanting to actually engage in dangerous fights; they only cared about soldiers who wanted to come here, fearing that they weren't good enough. Sira hated this pretentious shitty place. Every single day since she had come here five years ago, after graduating from the Training Corps with Erwin, she hated it and had tried again and again to being relocated. But for years now, her brother somehow pulled every single string possible to prevent her from moving away from here. She was safe here; that's what he had said, when he had told her that she wasn't coming with him after their graduation from the Training Corps. But he never took into account, that she just wanted to be with him. That she just wanted to be with the last living person from her family. Sira only wanted to be with Erwin and not here, in Stohess, where she would read up on all the reports from the Survey Scouts, fearing every time, that she would read about his death. None of this ever got easier and when Sira received that rejection letter today, she couldn't help but to tear up in her room.

She felt so alone here. There weren't many people she truly liked, neither in the Military Police nor in Stohess. Sira had never really put much effort into getting to know more people anyway – she had always wanted to leave from here as soon as possible and she felt hurt and angered by her brother, for making sure she wouldn't. She was only thirteen, when she had come here. She was barely a teenager, trying to leave her childhood behind that had ended on a random summer day, when she and her brother were travelling again, to finally reach the Training Corps camp. She was only thirteen, when she had come here and now, five years had gone by already, but that feeling of loneliness still lingered.

"Hey... you alright over there?", a familiar voice came from behind her, making Sira wipe away her tears quickly. The voice belonging to the girl standing in the door was so familiar to her by now, since the two of them had shared their room for over three years already. She smiled at her comrade softly, pulling out her handkerchief from a pocket and giving it to Sira. "Thanks, Daria.", Sira sniffed, drying her face with the piece of cloth, before folding it meticulously in her lap. She didn't dare look up to the girl in front of her, ashamed of the fact, that it wasn't the first time she had seen her like this.

"A rejection letter? Again? Oh dear... I really don't understand why you don't just give up on it already.", Daria said upon picking up the crumpled-up piece of paper and noticing the Military Police Emblem on the backside immediately. Sira let out an almost enraged kind of sigh, but she knew Daria only meant to comfort her in a way. "You know I need to get back to my brother. And I just... I just don't understand why he won't understand that. God, he's so stubborn.", Sira hissed, grinding her teeth but her friend couldn't contain a laugh, making her look up to her after all. Her own expression softened, when she got to see this laugh in her face and how she shook her head at her. After all, Daria was the only sane person in here, Sira thought, and she valued their friendship, despite being so different oftentimes.