The Love We Give

The Price of Love

TW very brief and abstract mention of non-consensual touch

This chapter picks up some months after chapter 1.
I actually can't believe there's some intimate scenes already, but here we are. Enjoy them!

Song recommendation for this chapter:
"State Lines" by Novo Amor

Their love felt so easy and exciting, like seeing that first flower after a harsh and cold winter. Their love was a soft smile at each other, when they wandered through the hallways. It was a quick peck on their cheeks around the corner, when no one was looking. It was a warm touch of their fingers under the table in the main hall, where they would gather to eat. Sometimes, their love was having each other's backs out on the open field and it was late night library meetings, too. For some months by now, Hange and Sira had been in each other's spaces, just like before, but so much more differently. And with that, life suddenly had felt easier, too. They were still here, trapped inside these walls with titans surrounding them. They were still unaware of what all of this meant. They were still Scouts risking their lives – but they were not alone with it.

Some weeks ago, Sira had finally gotten around to talk Erwin into her idea of doing their own thing, against Commander Shadis' will. It had taken a few times of approach, but he had given in at last, unable to deny that it was a clever idea, after all. So, his and Hange's squad had prepared in secret, sitting together late at night in the library again and again, talking about formations, goals, risks and how to capture a titan at the end of the day. Mike and Nanaba trusted Erwin and didn't question his decision of planning things behind the Commander's back and eventually, it was Nanaba, who gave Hange the idea for their capturing technique.

On the night before their next mission, just after Commander Shadis had called all his squads to come into the main hall to yell at them to not fuck it up tomorrow, Sira knocked on Hange's door, sneaking in quickly. She smiled quietly to herself upon the state of her room, clothes scattered around just like her books and papers, multiple burnt-down candles still on her desk, instead of being thrown away. Her room was as messy as her mind, Sira thought, but she noticed Hange making an effort of trying to keep things tidier than usual, since she had come to visit her in her room more often.

"I wanted to see you again, before going to bed.", Sira said, a soft smile on her face, as Hange approached her. She pulled on her shirt a few times, as if trying to adjust it somehow, before wrapping her arms around Sira's waist, not waiting for another word, but kissing her instead. Their love was so soft and excited; like every kiss and touch they shared in secret. They were young and in love, despite that word not having been said by either of them.

For some time, they stood there, Hange leaning against Sira's only slightly shorter body, as she pushed her against the door behind her. "Are you scared about tomorrow?", she finally asked, looking at her assistant, but there was no fear in her eyes. Sira shook her head.

"I'm excited.", she said with a grin that felt contagious to Hange, "Erwin would say I'm being reckless, but I'm excited, because this is our chance to make a change tomorrow. And I truly think Commander Shadis isn't aware of anything we're about to do. He can count his days, if you ask me."

Hange shook her head in disbelieve about Sira's determination. Reckless, as her brother would say, might have been an appropriate word, too – but Hange felt just the same. "You're out of your mind.", she said with a laugh.

"So are you. And that's... very charming, actually." Sira leaned in for another kiss, pushing Hange's glasses up first and putting her hands in her hair. Her skin felt so soft on her fingertips and whenever Sira would run her hand through Hange's hair, she could see how she would get goosebumps all over her arms. She felt so drawn to her and how she felt under her fingers. How her lips tasted and how her tongue felt against hers. Hange ran her hands over Sira's back, before placing them on her hips. It was more of an accidental touch, but when Hange felt how the seam of Sira's shirt lifted up at her touch, she couldn't help but to let her fingers reluctantly explore underneath it. She grazed the skin on her waist with her fingers; her own hands feeling electrified by the touch. For a moment, the two of them looked at each other with insecure eyes and a flame burning in their touching. Never before had there been this kind of intimacy between them, but it felt like setting ablaze a fire.