As Easy As Murder

7. Linger

Im wrapped up in my bedsheets, the only light in the room the illumination from my phone screen. I can Loretta on the phone with someone. I yawn, and bury my bed father into my pillow. The door suddenly swings open, and Loretta is standing there in a MMA fighter stance. 

"Yo," She sits down on the edge of the bed, and I try to push her off with my feet. 

"Go away," I whine, wanting to sulk in my dark little blanket cucoon and forget the world around me exists. 

"We're all going to the club."

"We're all under 21."

My grogginess causes me to only hear bits and pieces of what she's saying. "All ages. Supposed to be packed. Jesse. Excited."

She shakes me, hands gripping my torso. I squeeze my eyes shut, opting for the 'If I can't see you, you can't see me' aproach. My phone flys out of my hands as I stand up, and sigh. Part of me does not want to go to the club. Doesn't want to socialize. Feels like closing myself off and falling into the pit of my thoughts, but the other part of me, the social butterfly, is up and ready to go. 

I rub my temples and open my eyes, greeted by the warm brown of Loretta's, her gummy smile accompanied by puppy dog eyes, which she has perfected over the years. I've watched her get out of a ticket with those honey colored weapons, "Who's we?" 

She lists off 3/4ths of the friendgroup, and I nod, deciding to go. After my last love disaster, Loretta has been urging me to get out there and have a fling or two, let myself be hit on a little. For a while, I wasn't keen, still too scorned by the last lips to press against mine to even glance over the thought of anyone else's, the poison of his sultry voice still oozing through my head, but now I'm getting over the flu of the heatbreak, the once grueling pain having faded into a faint sting that only makes me writhe if I push it too hard. 

"Alright, let me get myself together." 

Loretta leaves the room, door swinging shut behind her with a thud. I open the closet, which only contains about half the clothes I packed, the other artciles messily drooped across my suitcase. 

I push back hangers, searching for something to really express myself. I swear everything wasn't this ugly yesterday.My hands find a black dress covered in a lace pattern, with a sheer ruffle at the edge, straight low neckline only held up by a thin spaghetti strap. I take off my soft pajamas with a heavy heart. I step into the tight material, sliding it up and slipping my arms through the straps. 

I enter the bathroom, my eyes adjusting from the dark bedroom to the gleaming white surfaces. I plug in my straightener/curling iron combo device I got off a sketchy pop-up add. One of the days I'm gonna get electrocuted. I straighten my unruly waves, then curl them into perfect loose ones, my long hair falling over my shoulders like a black waterfall, probably begging me to stop heat damaging it. 

I unplug the iron and place it back in it's spot next to loretta's acient straightener that looks like it's from the 3rd century. 

I slide on sleek black heels, needing the extra inches. Unfortunatly, I stopped growing in 8th grade at 5'2, and while there's certainly more vertically challenged people, it still puts me at a disadvantage, my head an eldow rest for arogant tall guys. I adjust a couple of my peircings that were turned off their angel from me burying my face in my pillow. 

I walk out of the room, laying my eyes on loretta's...interesting look. A leather top with barely any coverage, an electric green almost blinding mini-skirt to match her viridescent curls, accompanied by a think black cat-eye with green hylighter. She looks like a supervillain, and it's a look. What kind of look? Depends on your moral standpoint. 

She's holding a hand-held mirror, observing herself, brushing a few astray curls out of her eyes, her bangs falling perfectly above her eyebrows. "You like?" She glances over her shoulder at me.

"It's certainly you," I reply, looking her up and down.

"You look smoking." She hold up her hand in a 'rawr' gesture, and we both laugh, cringing. Loretta opens the door and we sling on our purses, stepping onto the now familiar fugly carpet. 

And just like that, I'm squished between a very nervous Janey and a screaming Vicky. We're packed into Vera's jeep, so tight we can feel each other's breath. Jesse is blasting 'Tongue Tied', and Vicky is screaming so loud her voice is rasping. 

"You sound like a goat at a petting zoo." Vera grumbles from the passenger, arms crossed, her usual angry expression upon her face. This only empowers Vicky to get louder, which makes Janey even more unnerved, and she starts to bite her nails. 

"What's up?" I ask her, and she sighs, looking down at her feet.

"Collin doesn't like when I go to clubs." She runs her hands up and down the denim of her jeans, fingers circling the decals on her right knee. Janey has never been one to dress up. She's the softie of the group, morals overtaking logic. Her long light brown hair is tied up into a messy bun, baby blue oversized sweatshirt complete with chew marks on the ends of the sleeves. 

Collin is her long-term boyfriend, and we all aren't super keen on the guy. He's like this huge restraint, holding her back from being young. His ways are totally old school, and we've brought this up to her, but she's adamant that it's true love, and she talks about him like he's a Greek god. 

I sigh, putting an arm around her, "You need to stop worrying about him. He's gotta trust you." I remind her. I know that from my own mistakes, and my ex's mistakes. I speak from experience, but Janey has the wool over her eyes, and she's content with it.

She stays quiet. The sound of Vicky's vocal cords screeching at the corus accosts all 4 of us as we drive to to Bishop's off campus apartment. She's  got it together. She may be a bit wacko, but the gir's financial desicions are more reponsible than the rest of us combined. She comes running out of her complex upon us pulling up, holding up her pants to keep from tripping. Her pigtails bop in the wind as she squeezes into the car, and I feel like a sardine. 

After 10 more minutes of 1st degree eardrum assault, we pull into an overflowing parking lot, barely squeezing into the tightest space on the planet. Jesse gets out, looking around at the selection.

He immediately finds a guy to gawk at while the rest of us tumble out of the car like a clown act, bishop ending up knees-to-pavement, and loretta's purse ending up 7 feet away. Once we're all on our feet, we enter the building, a layer of colored lighting over everything, no where to look without stroble lights. 

Guys push each other, groups of friends dare each other to shrug, a couple argues in the corner, infidelity written all over the guys face. We find ourself a roomy booth in the back right corner, all ordering our respective non-alchoholic drinks, besides Jesse, who somehow flirts his way out of getting ID'd. He has this vibe of maturity that seems to make him appear older. 

I lean against my skin, fidgeting with a cartilage peircing. It's been a while since i've been in this scene, my social skills flying out the window as I look around at the many potiention flirt partners around. It's unlike me, but I seem to have lost my ability to initiate. 

Within one hour, Janey's crying in the bathroom, Loretta Is all over a tall dark and handsome, Jesse is getting overly-hyper, and Vera looks like she's about to loose it. I haven't even seen Vicky. 

Once Loretta has peeled herself off of the now mesmerized hunk, she approaches me. "That guy has a friend. Come on, let's get you an ego boost." She grabs my hand. 

"Etti.." I mumble, not on board with this, but we're already making our way through the sea of strangers over to the counter, where there's a cute scene guy. His hair covers his left eye, jeans so baggy they must trail behind him, jacket covered in pins, and a handful of paper clips. He turns to look at me. 

I sit on the stool beside him, fingers tapping the table in an attempt to self-soothe. 

"I'm Averen." I say quietly, even though the guy looks like he has no interest in me or my name, or the entire atmosphere. Or earth. To my suprise, his dull expression becomes an amused one. 

"Averen? I've heard a lot about you." 

"Huh?" I scrunch my face up In confusion. Loretta didn't speak a word to this guy, and he's looking at and speaking to me like he knows my family tree. 

"I think you have beef with a good friend of mind." 

Oh for the love of God. He's not even here. I can't even see him. He's 20 miles away, and yet I can't escape him. It hits me. The image of the nuescance telling me he was shopping for an edgy friend. This is the guy. The guy I chose a gift for. The guys who's close friend is so deep under my skin that even speaking his name makes me want to murder someone. 

"Kori?" My voice comes out as a scorned whisper. My throat becomes dry. The odds are against me. 

The guy nods, "I'm Liam. He's uh..he's not your biggest fan. But hey, you've got good taste." He points down at his pants, and I squint down at them realizing they're the ones I picked and sent home with the monster. 

I mumble a quick goodbye and flee back to my now scattered friends. I feel like we're a band that just suffered a nasty break up or something, except it's just me being deserted in a bar, seething with anger. I start rounding them up, until eventually we're a group again. 

Everyone can sense that I am a kettle about to boil over, so start to maneuver through the crowd towards the exit. On our way there, a firm fist suddenly grabs my wrist and I startle, a guy with a body-builder physique gazing down on me. He whispers some flirty phrase, but even staring at the strangers face, the features all look like my Ex's. My heart speeds up, nervous system initiating fight or flight. Jesse snatches me away. 

His voice is muffled by the pounding base emitted by the overhead speakers as he gives the guy a peice of his mind, even thought he didn't do anything that wrong. 

I gasp as we make it outside, sucking the fresh air into my lungs like I'm drowning. I almost loose my balance, stumbling to my side a bit and trying to grab onto a non- existent  surface. Loretta grabs my hips to steady me, mumbling assuring words as I lean against the back of the car, coming to the surface of the whirlpool of flashbacks. 

"I'm fine." I pull my hair pack with my palm, hold hand warmed by my forehead. 

Jesse hugs me, the berry scent of his cologne sending a wave of safety into my suddenly exhausted body. 

My phone vibrates in my purse. It's Mom, and while I've fallen into the habit of ignoring her calls, I feel like I need her right now. 

"Hey Av, you okay? I tried calling you a few times." 

"Uh..yeah, perfectly fine. Sorry I was out, I couldn't hear you.." My voice comes out like I'm trying to convince myself instead of her. 

I don't believe me.