𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 [Jason Grace]

35

"𝐀𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝—"

"No, you don't," the river god sympathized. "Poor thing. Another girl stuck with a son of Zeus."

"Wait a minute," Jason said. "It's Jupiter, actually. And how does that make her a poor thing?"

Achelous ignored him. "My girl, do you know the cause of my fight with Hercules?"

"It was over a woman," Piper recalled. "Deianira?"

"Yes." Achelous heaved a sigh. "And do you know what happened to her?"

"Uh..." Piper glanced at Jason.

He took out his guidebook and began flipping through pages. "It doesn't really—"

Achelous snorted indignantly. "What is that?"

Jason blinked. "Just... The Hercules Guide to Mare Nostrum. He gave us the guidebook so—"

"That is not a book," Achelous insisted. "He gave you that just to get under my skin, didn't he? He knows I hate those things."

"You hate... books?" Piper asked.

"Bah!" Achelous's face flushed, turning his blue skin eggplant purple. "That's not a book."

He pawed the water. A scroll shot from the river like a miniature rocket and landed in front of him. He nudged it open with his hooves. The weathered yellow parchment unfurled, covered with faded Latin script and elaborate hand-drawn pictures.

"This is a book!" Achelous said. "Oh, the smell of sheepskin! The elegant feel of the scroll unrolling beneath my hooves. You simply can't duplicate it in something like that."

He nodded indignantly at the guidebook in Jason's hand. "You young folks today and your newfangled gadgets. Bound pages. Little compact squares of text that are not hoof-friendly. That's a bound book, a b-book, if you must. But it's not a traditional book. It'll never replace the good old-fashioned scroll!"

"Um, I'll just put this away now." Jason slipped the guidebook in his back pocket the way he might holster a dangerous weapon.

Achelous seemed to calm down a little, which was a relief to Piper. She didn't need to get run over by a one-horned bull with a scroll obsession.

"Now," Achelous said, tapping a picture on his scroll. "This is Deianira."

Piper knelt down to look. The hand-painted portrait was small, but she could tell the woman had been very beautiful, with long dark hair, dark eyes, and a playful smile that probably drove guys crazy.

"Princess of Calydon," the river god said mournfully. "She was promised to me, until Hercules butted in. He insisted on combat."

"And he broke off your horn?" Jason guessed.

"Yes," Achelous said. "I could never forgive him for that. Horribly uncomfortable, having only one horn. But the situation was worse for poor Deianira. She could have had a long, happy life married to me."

"A man-headed bull," Piper said, "who lives in a river."

"Exactly," Achelous agreed. "It seems impossible she would refuse, eh? Instead, she went off with Hercules. She picked the handsome, flashy hero over the good, faithful husband who would have treated her well. What happened next? Well, she should have known. Hercules was much too wrapped up in his own problems to be a good husband. He had already murdered one wife, you know. Hera cursed him, so he flew into a rage and killed his entire family. Horrible business. That's why he had to do those twelve labors as penance."