After the talk with Bucky, I try to be more civil.
Bucky, or The Winter Soldier, used to look out for me. I mean, we barely were able to make contact with eachother, but when we were he gave me his food. He protected me from the worst of the Hydra punishment for when I messed up a mission.
He was there for me when no one else was.
No one came looking for me. My parents weren't really relevant and so I was stuck. I knew I was going to be rescued. So I did what I was told, I spied, I killed, and I earned some respect. The better I did, the more food they gave me, the better they treated me.
It was a circle I couldn't get out of. They had made me into a mindless killing machine, but since being here, I finally feel like myself. Of course, I don't really know who I am, but at least I'm not trying to murder everyone in sight.
So when Stark brings me water or Banner does a blood test, I thank them quietly and try to be calm.
Since the serum has worn off I've been getting flashbacks. I see the things I did. I see the pain I caused.
In the glass cell they have me in, I sit and wait. Wait till the memories are over. Until the urges to run, the random adrenaline goes.
Once or twice a day Bucky joins me to help. He says since his own freedom, he's seen a therapist for those moments of remembering. He says I'm doing good, that he was more violent for a while after coming off the serum.
I tell him about what I did, what I was forced to do. He listens, sitting with me on the cool ground. I have a bed and things but I prefer to sit on the floor, it's grounding. Bucky says that the woman who helped bring me here, Natasha, wants him to come talk to me more. He tells me that we'd get along.
There's a voice named Jarvis. I don't understand how he works, but I talk to him sometimes. When I started to I wondered if I was going crazy, but Stark talks to him more often, and he seems mostly sane, so I think I'm okay.
For now I ajev to wait a bit before they are sure I can be trusted. Then... I don't know.
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What creature do you think is the most frightening?
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The Guide to Being an Avenger
FanficY/N was taken by Hydra in the 1940's and turned into an unsuspecting young assassin named The Ghost. Decades later, after Hydra is defeated, she is found by Bucky Barnes and the Avengers, and taken care of. (The plot of the movies has been changed...
