Phases Of Life

WORST TIME

As mentioned earlier, he switched schools in the 6th grade. He had high hopes for his new school, expecting that maybe the people there would be good too. But perhaps, it was destined that first, they would appear good, and later, they would change. His first day at the new school and in the new class was on April 6, 2013. He can't forget his class teacher, because it was because of her that he found his love. On that day, everyone introduced themselves in class, and some people liked him while others found faults in him. But that day will always remain special for him because it was on that day that Mam appointed both him and that girl as class monitors for a month.

When the period was over, he asked his friend to call out that girl because he didn't know her. When his friend called her name, she stood up. You wouldn't believe what happened next – after seeing her, his eyes, his heartbeat, and everything else around him seemed to vanish. He was captivated, couldn't take his eyes off her. That's when he understood what people mean by "love at first sight." He, too, fell in love at first sight.

Even today, he remembers that day, those moments – her eyes, her smile that had completely enchanted him. He used to go to school every day just to catch a glimpse of her. He didn't have the courage to talk to her directly. He tried many times to approach her, discussing his feelings with his friends, expressing his desire to talk to her and make her his forever. But he was always told to keep his feelings to himself. If he ever wanted to express his emotions, he should do it directly to the person he felt for, or else it could lead to misunderstandings.

However, he made the mistake of confiding in his friends about his feelings for her. That single mistake changed everything. His friends' loose talk reached her ears, and in the eyes of others, he was suddenly seen in a negative light. You might be wondering how a simple confession could lead to such a drastic change. Well, it happened during a school break when everyone was away. Someone wrote on the classroom door that "he love her," with both his and her names underneath. Usually, boys could easily brush off such situations, but girls tend to be more emotionally affected. That day, baseless rumors started circulating in the class. Seeing her cry for the first time, and knowing he was the reason, shattered his heart into pieces.

The girl whose smile had been his world now saw him as the cause of her tears. He had to accept everything without any fault of his own. From that day on, his image in the entire school was tainted, as if he was a bad guy. After that incident, she never spoke to him again for the rest of the academic year. Every day, he saw her, but he couldn't talk to her. He couldn't even say sorry because she was not ready to listen, and he was left in a state of perpetual regret.

Top of Form

He knows, and he can feel how he managed to get through that entire year, being in the same class with her yet staying apart from her. They say, "God's delays are not God's denials." In the next year, in 7th grade, after some time, they started talking again. This time, he was extremely careful, not wanting to make any mistakes that could ruin the friendship that had just started. They became good friends again, and this time, others around him also seemed to get a bit closer. He understood their intentions, but somewhere deep down; he knew that his happiness didn't last long in his eyes.

This year too, something happened, leading him to become the bad guy in her eyes once again and in the eyes of others as well. This time, it was because of another person whom both he and she didn't like. Because of this third person, she distanced herself from him once more.

Mid-semester tests were underway, and he had gone out for lunch with my friends. When he returned, someone had left a so-called love letter in the classroom with both his and her names on it, becoming the reason for the entire incident. Because of this, for the first time in his life, he received 16 slaps without any fault, all in front of the whole class. No one felt embarrassed because somehow, some people knew that he hadn't done anything wrong, but nobody spoke up. That's when he realized that in life, no phase truly belongs to you; everything and everyone are just means to an end.

She distanced herself from him again, refusing even to look at his face. That entire academic year passed with bitter memories. The following year, their sections changed, and she wasn't with him anymore. Maybe that was a relief for her, but for him, every day was a struggle. He waited for the breaks just to catch a glimpse of her, to see her smile, even if it was from a distance.

Class 8 and 9 passed in a similar manner, with the same patterns repeating. Then, in the 10th grade, somehow, they started talking again. This time, he observed everything, trying to understand her perspective. He mustered the courage to ask her about those incidents and what she thought of him during those times. Her answer freed him from all the guilt he had been carrying within. She said she didn't believe he could do such things, but she couldn't comprehend or react appropriately at that moment due to the situation. Hearing this, he felt incredibly happy, perhaps the happiest he had ever been.

He then asked her if they could rebuild their friendship, and she agreed, but with one condition – that he wouldn't talk about this matter publicly or with their friends. She didn't want history to repeat itself. They say that humans sometimes know the right thing but still make mistakes. That's exactly what he did. He shared a few things with his friends, which led to rumors spreading once again. This caused her to stop talking to him. By then, he had come to realize that maybe it wasn't in the universe's plan for them to be friends.

He decided to focus on his studies, putting his heart into his academics. But he couldn't distance himself from her. Every day, he would see her, and his heart would ache. He couldn't bear to be away from her. Every smile of hers brought joy to his heart, even though she didn't want to acknowledge his presence.

In the 11th class, a significant turning point occurred in his life, for which he might face criticism, and he acknowledged his mistake. There was a girl who was junior to him in school. Due to pressure from his friends, he got into a relationship with her, driven by a challenge his friends had thrown at him. He stayed in that relationship for five months, and eventually, the girl found out about it. She was someone very important to him, and he later realized that he had been wrong in the eyes of others. From the beginning, he had done everything for her, wanting her, and suddenly, he switched his feelings.

He made another mistake in the 11th class that hurt her, and this time, it was entirely his fault. It was during the summer vacation, and like everyone, he had plans too. He was going to his grandmother's house. To this day, he can't understand what God intended for him. It was early morning, and he and his sister were waiting for the bus. Suddenly, the thought crossed his mind that before leaving, he should see her face. Unbelievably, within 5 minutes, she was passing by in an auto with her family, right in front of him. Her morning smile filled him with a different kind of energy and happiness. His entire journey went very well, but perhaps, he ruined her morning. He had her number, but maybe she didn't have his saved. Like a fool, he messaged her early in the morning, and the message was a bit weird. This led to a small scene at her home, and she cried again.

And he can never forget that he made her cry three times. He never forgot the day she told him this, and he hopes he could go back in time to fix things. It hurts him deeply that he made the person he liked the most cry. But all of this didn't last much longer. On the last day of the 12th grade, when everyone was about to part ways, no one knew who would go where or who would stay in touch. That day, she said to him that she wished she had never seen him again and never wanted to see him again. He shattered once more, and this time, it felt like there was no one to mend the pieces.

But there's one thing he wants to say to everyone: every boy and girl is different, with their own feelings. People have to understand themselves; no one else truly can. He tried explaining how he had unintentionally hurt her, but she never grasped how deeply she had hurt him with that one line. That's when he realized that he didn't succeed in either friendship or love. He felt defeated in both phases of his life.