An Outdoorsman's Guide To The Calls Of Common Thieves

Jade the monk

14/04/2024-19/04/2024

You Can't Hurry Love - The Supremes

Ok, ok, don't panic. It's just a date. With Ryan. But at the same time, it's a date with Ryan. Panic.

It's around midday, which is when we usually meet up and check on the wildlife by the cliff, but he's going to have to manage it on his own because I need to get physically and mentally ready.

First, something to wear. Do I go casual or elegant? We're going to be in his house, just sitting and watching a documentary. Casual it is. But how casual is casual enough? Can one be too casual? Let's go with this black shirt and denim skirt combo. That looks casual ish. I wonder what he's going to wear.

The question is, is it really a date? I told him yesterday that I knew what he meant, but he was flustered and I was trying to be confident. You know, like opposites attract. The truth is, I'm not confident either. And I didn't know what he meant. And now I'm confused. You'd think a therapist wouldn't be so counterintuitive when it came to emotions, but I clearly wasn't thinking at the time.

Light makeup. Nothing can go wrong with light makeup. We aren't partying on a Saturday night, nor are we going to sleep. Hopefully not anyways. It makes sense. A little mascara and lipgloss is all I need.

He could've meant one of three things; a date, as in an informal meet up for couples, a date, as in how humans record time, or the expression, 'it's a date', that we use to refer to both. Now I'm even more confused.

What do I do with my hair? I showered recently, so my natural curls are still curling, so I'd say half up half down. There we go. Now I just brush my bangs and ... there. That's one thing I love about my hair. When it's curly like this, it's just ready to go. I have ribcage-length, black, Sri Lankan-type curl hair. Keeping it curly is a whole job, but I love it.

I'm sure this is just a friendly hangout between friends. I think of Ryan as a close friend, or a best friend, and I really hope he thinks of me like that. For now. Who am I kidding, I have the fattest crush on him. I think he has a little crush on me too. Alex was definitely hinting at it.

I think I'm all ready. Just gotta wear my socks and shoes and ... yup. Let's go on this 'date'. With Ryan, my best friend. For now.

Walking down the street, I feel the nerves build up in my stomach. I don't even know why I'm nervous. Maybe because the last time we did something like this, it ended so badly. I purposefully fell asleep on him. As in I got closer to him and actually slept on him. How embarrassing. I should have drunk about 3 coffees before leaving my house. Perhaps this nervousness is a good thing. It'll keep me awake for sure.

Valentine - Laufey

Arriving at our meeting spot, I find Ryan sitting against a tree.
"Hey!"
"Hey!" He gets up. "Ready to finally see my place?"
"For sure."
"Trust me, you weren't missing out on much."
"Alright, I won't get too excited."

He opens the door. "Tadaa!"
His apartment is cosy. It's built like mine, where everything is in one room except the bathroom, and there are plants everywhere. As I walk around, looking at all the flowers, mini trees and greenery, I feel like I'm in a forest. His furniture is all browny, beige shades complement the green.
"I swear I've seen this in a catalogue. It's so aesthetic."
"I try."
"I can tell."

"Alright, Stan Kelly time, take 2."
We sit on his couch, oohing and aahing at the cool shots of storks and hippos, learning about why kangaroos have pouches and discussing the effectiveness of bird mating dances.
"I just think flapping your feathers around isn't gonna get the girl."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah seriously."
"Maybe not one hundred percent of the time, but at least sometimes. You've never danced your way into a girl's heart?"
"Never knew that was a way in."
"Aww come on Ryan! You've got to put the moves on her! Show off your stuff! You know, shake your feathers a bit."
"Ok now you're just being ridiculous."
"Do you not like dancing?"
"I've never danced with anyone."
"Never?! You're crazy. Do you like dancing alone?"
"Depends on the music."
"I love to dance. Super fun."
"So if someone started doing the chicken in front of you, you'd just fall in love? Just like that?"
"I mean, I'd probably laugh a bit first, but I'd definitely consider. Ed Sheeran style, you know, 'barefoot on the grass' kind of dancing. Super cute."
"I'll definitely have to try that one."
"Of course!"
"And this is certified?"
"Certified? What, do you get penalties for this kind of thing?"
"Imagine. Illegal dating methods."
"Yikes." We say at the same time, followed by a chuckle.

"Are you ready for the LARP?" He says as I put my shoes on.
"When is it? I totally forgot."
"It's the day after tomorrow. Just talk to Steph and Alex, they're organising. I'm sure she already has a character for you."
"Perfect. See you tomorrow!"
"See you!"

And just like that, the 'date' was over. It felt far too short, but it was fun. I had better go find Steph.

Speed Drive - Charlie XCX

I manage to catch her and Alex leaving the record store.
S: "Hey, what's up Z?"
Z: "Hey guys! I was just wondering about the LARP? What do I-"
A: "We've got it all sorted. You can come back home with us, we'll show you what's going on."
Z: "Sweet!"
I have never seen their apartment either. I guess I'm getting two new environments today.

Steph opens the door and we walk in. Their room is like a replica of mine, same aesthetic, same kind of layout. I'm guessing it's because Alex and Steph got most of Gabe's stuff, and my room was Gabe and Alex's old room. They have music posters everywhere, cool little trinkets dotted around the place and a cool vibe all around.
Z: "Reminds me of my place."
S: "Some of our stuff was taken from yours, mostly the stuff that was small enough."
Z: "Ahh, makes sense."

A: "Okay, so ... here we go. We have some ideas but you'll need to pick some things."
Z: "Got it."
S: "First of all, you're a monk, meaning you fight along side Thaynor with the power of martial arts. What will your name be?"
Z: "Hmm... a monk. I think my name will be ... Jade. That sounds like a good name."
A: "Perfect. Now for your powers. You're can either start out with a flying kick or a triple punch."
Z: "Flying kick for sure."
S: "Finally, how did you meat Thaynor, Ethan, and Alto, Alex?"
Z: "What about ... on one of their expeditions they came across an abandoned monastery on a mountain and I joined their crusade?"
S: "Creative, love it."

I have been getting to know Ethan and Charlotte through our therapy sessions. We've really been working through Charlotte's lasting thoughts on Gabe, and how she can work around them to see them from a different perspective. Ethan has a big imagination. A big imagination. He's creative and smart, even though sometimes he acts before he thinks. He had some lasting pain and guilt from what happened, and he's still healing. I think the sessions are still beneficial, he has a chance to get everything out. I tell the important things to Charlotte, but most of the stuff he tells me remains in my notebook. We talk about more than just issues. I've studied the Thaynor series in preparation for our sessions and the LARP, and I've noticed the addition of a new character creeping in. She sounds familiar now that I think about it. A monk ... where have I heard that before?

S: "Jade will be perfect for the LARP!"
Z: "Trust me, I cannot wait!"