An Outdoorsman's Guide To The Calls Of Common Thieves

Recurring problems

07/04/2024
TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter mentions the following: Trauma/PTSD, trauma-caused insomnia (I don't know the proper term for it, sorry). Reader discretion is advised.

Leap Of Faith - Christopher

I approach the rock with the rope around it and kneel down on the ground. Ryan kneels beside me, closer to the edge of the cliff.
He observes and analyses the rope, checking each and every thread.
"It looks like there are no frays. And..."
He looks over the cliff to see where it leads. "...there are some relatively stable-looking wooden planks attached to it. This was used as a ladder by someone."
"Strange. How come?"
" Maybe by miners?"
"Yeah."
He looks over to me with a slightly excited expression.
"You up for heading down there?"
"Uh..." My hesitation is clearly evident.
"I can go first if you want."
"Is it even safe?"
"It looks as safe as a random abandoned ladder can be. It does stop a little further up from the ground, but not by that much."
"'Not by that much'. Have you seen my height?"

He says "I'll catch you." confidently. With a smile. No- a smirk.
"Alright. Let's do it."

As Ryan descends down the rope ladder, I watch his behaviour. He takes deep breaths in on one step, and breathes out on the next, going slowly, but steadily. Each step is made with intention, and therefore he can have no accidents, no slip ups, because what is an accident but an action done without intention? And when he reaches the end of the ladder, he nods his head a little, three times - most likely counting to three in his head - and jumps a little to get off, so his knees are already bent and not straight, and he can reduce the force on his knees and calves by bending them at whatever angle he needs to.

"Are you ready Z?"
I inhale to convince myself that being scared is for babies and the faithless, and I exhale to reassure myself that if anything bad happens Ryan is here with me.
"Yeah. I'm ready."

So I do the same. Breathing in as I place my right foot, and out as I place my left. Making sure everything I do is completely by intention. Something about accidents. It seems to take forever to get there but then I get to the bottom...
...and it looks like what you'd imagine staring the Mariana Trench in the face would look like. The floor always looks further away from high up than high places look from the floor. However, the ladder is attached to a lower part than some of the cliff, so I guess I won't die... I'm bending my knees, and-
-I end up standing. Unharmed. Surprisingly.
"Wow. I wasn't expecting that to go well."
"You tackled that like a hiker."
"You're an excellent teacher. Or demonstrator." I say, unintentionally admitting that I was staring at him the entire way down. He doesn't seem to realise though.
"Thanks."

We finally found a way down to the stream. It's stable, and from down here the ladder is easy to grab. And yet I still haven't found a way to bring up that conversation.

Wise Up - Jack in the Water

After finding a nice spot to sit, we sit beside the stream, watching the fish eavesdrop on our continuing conversation as I desperately try to steer it in that certain direction.
"So you were saying?"
"Oh yeah. When patients have recurring problems. For example, one of my first clients, Jane, told be about how she always felt the need to shout at her nieces and nephews when they misbehaved, and it scared her away from having kids. Then, when she told me more about her relationship as a child with her sisters, it clicked: she saw her sisters in them, and since they shouted at her when she was naughty as a kid, so this was almost like her inner kid shouting back at them."
"That's so interesting."
Jane obviously wasn't her name - we all know there's no Jane Doe in this world - but I'm used to making up fake names for my previous and current clients for the sake of privacy. Ryan wouldn't know her anyways, since she lived in England, but just to be respectful, I make up people sometimes.
"There was this one guy, Marcus, who would get insomnia. He couldn't sleep for days upon end. Until we found out together that the cause was something he felt extreme guilt for. It was like... his body wouldn't allow him to forget it? you know?"
I found that a good way to help people open up is to show them that they aren't alone. There are other people that have similar problems, and there are people to support them.
It looks like it's working.
"So the conclusion is that these problems have a cause?"
"Yup. A cause that causes me to stay up late at night figuring out what it is."
"I hope you haven't been doing that since you got here."
"Well, not yet. No one's come to me with that kind of problem yet. But I'm totally ready for when the time comes."
"I see."
Ryan is...uh...

He's looking a little hesitant to say what he wants too. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out.
"Ryan?"
"Hey Zoe?"
"Yeah?"
"I um..."

"Do you think... uh... I... never mind."
Ok. Tread carefully.
"What's up?" I shuffle a little closer to him. "Talk to me, I'll try and help you. I promise."
"Well...uh..." He seems to be rethinking his decision.
"Hey." I place my hand on his shoulder. "Take your time. You don't have to say anything until you're ready."

He takes a moment. Just to gather his thoughts. Gazing mindlessly into the waves or the water before he snaps back to reality. To the question without the answer. And he answers.

"I don't... sleep. I don't fall asleep easily. Anymore. Mainly since we uncovered Typhon."

"I-i keep having the the same vision, whenever I close my eyes for long enough. I see..."

His eyes become glassy, and his voice cracks and wavers. He must be really struggling.

"...I see... well, Gabe. I see Gabe. And I see the boulder, throwing him over the edge."

"And my hands. My hands... with the knife... and the rope..."

He trails off, but I can put together what he's talking about from what he and others have told me.

I can visualise it. His description was vague yet clear enough for me to be able to see it. And I can't even imagine the pain of seeing it over and over and over again. Poor, poor Ryan.

"I... I killed him, Zoe. My own best friend. I killed him. I saw the rocks coming, and I just left him."