Outside Looking In

3

Exhausted. That was the only thing Miranda felt. She was exhausted. It made since she had been standing on her feet for the majority of the morning Completing a cytoreductive surgery. It didn't help that her patient coded and had a bleeder. It also didn't help that Ben was the anesthesiologist on the case. She tried to train herself, to not turn in his direction unless it was needed, but she couldn't help but feel his eyes on her. It was like he was watching her every move and taking in what she was doing and saying.

"Hey, Miranda right?" Ben called out, watching the sleepy surgeon stretch.

Miranda quickly put her arms down and fixed her shirt at the sound of his voice. "It's Dr. Bailey, but yes you're correct."

"Sorry. I'm Dr. Benjamin Warren we met yesterday."

"I remember thanks for that."

"Don't thank me. I'm glad to see you are in better spirits."

"I am."

"Well, hopefully this can add to it." He smiled holding up a cup of coffee.

"Oh, thank you." Miranda blushed, grabbing the cup from him. Taking a sip she looked up at him in amazement, he knew how she took her coffee."How did you get this right?"

"I'm not sure. I just had a feeling." He responded sheepishly.

"How do you drink yours?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Just cream."

"Me too."

"You were amazing in there. I thought we had lost him, but you managed to bring him back." Ben smiled, before drinking his coffee as well.

"Thanks, but my job wouldn't be possible without you."

"That's a shocking line coming from a surgeon."

"Why?" Miranda asked curiously.

"Because normally you all take the credit for yourselves. We are of little importance in your mind."

"So you are stereotyping me?"

"No, no. I'm not."

"You were, but it's OK. I think that we all are equally important. Though you all make a hell of a lot more money than surgeons."

"Only because we go to school longer and our jobs leave little room for error."

"I know, but you all get to sit and we don't."

"Sitting is not great, for my back." He said quickly and she laughed.

"You make a good case, Dr. Warren."

"I know I've said this already, but what you did today was astonishing. Watching you work was fascinating, surgery's fascinating."

"You been an anesthesiologist for how long?"

"11 years now counting residency."

"In all these years, you've never watched the surgeon."

"Not in depth, like today."

"Well, what made you look today?"

"You," He answered simply.

Miranda looked up at him and gave a questioning look.

"You were sad yesterday, but today during surgery. You were focused and zoned in. It looked freeing and relaxing. I can imagine when you hold a liver or whatever organ in your hand and the patient's life it's complex. Almost like a puzzle, your worries are at the back of your mind and that object is at the fore front. It's almost the same reason I do crosswords."