For Her Good

Chapter 10: Confession

Her heart racing, Mari stood in the street and texted the only person who could help.

Do you regret going in your diaper?

"No. Not at all. It feels great."

Then what do you regret?

"I regret being a dumb baby and squishing around in my mess. Bouncing on a bench, squishing around thinking that eventually I didn't have to be a grownup. I should have worked harder to find a bathroom to change in. I should have just changed my wet one because you, Sir, made me pack two extra diapers and I could have messed a dry one when it was more convenient. But I just wanted to go potty (in my pants), and that was a little girl choice. Now I'm gonna pay for it. Now I'm doomed."

You're not doomed.

"I so, so am."

"This diaper is such a liability, Sir. If they don't sniff me in line to get tickets, they'll sniff me across the damn lobby. And if by some chance they don't catch me by then, then they'll worry I fell in the toilet, based on how long it's going to take me to change. Roseanna will come in and ask me what's up and then I'll be standing there with the world's poopiest diaper in a hefty bag and she'll soooo know what happened."

That's not being doomed.

"It is to me! I'm the one who is going to have to live down this for ages. Forever. I...I'm just gonna be the girl who always shits herself!"

I mean. That's pretty deserved.

And then...

...use your words.

Roseanna's name spread across Mari's phone banner. "Boop boop where are you silly billy?"

Mari stayed in the message thread with Sir. Sir messaged again too.

If it were Harriet down there, and just Harriet, what would you do?

"Hmmm..."

Would you admit it?

"Yah."

You would?

"Mhm."

Then call her.

Mari had to read the phone a few times until Sir's words sank in. Call...Harriet? On this Saturday morning...the anniversary of her 'shitting' her pants at the café? When Harriet was hard at work, being a real grownup?

"Why would I do that? Roseanna and Matthew are going to find out, and then I'd willingly just expose my grossness to Harriet?"

Because maybe she can help.

"How would she help?"

You said she's pretty smart. Just call her. Call your mommy. You're the one who called her that. It's For Your Good. And if Roseanna finds out...well...according to you, you have nothing to lose. Because apparently Roseanna is gonna tell the world. Once again, according to you. So, if anything, you're telling your side of the story.

Mari took a deep breath. She had been walking, slowly, like some sort of condemned person to their doom. They say that you shit your pants when you die and Mari felt like they got it out of order. Or maybe she was a big dumb baby and had no business in adult places where people did naughty things.

She took a deep breath.

She tried to imagine what Harriet might say. "Hi hun," it would start, if she picked up. She probably wouldn't. She had lawyer stuff to do. She imagined her picking up anyway and putting her big lawyer coworkers on mute just to talk to her helpless little roommate. Everyone in suits, spiffed up. Briefcases and buttons. The smell of office coffee and laminate folders. Big green hardcovers in volumes that went up to the twenties of books. Old fashioned desk lights made of brass and pen holders for pens that were far too fancy to ever write anything. And amongst all of that, Harriet would say hold on a second so she could take a call from her friend who was freaking-out because the most important thing to her was that she did a poopy.

Roseanna texted again. She was getting worried.

Mari, frantic, finally called Harriet. The phone rang twice. "Hi hun."

"Hi."

Harriet laughed. "Well hi? Did you mean to call me, babe?"

"It's uhhh."

"Are you OK?"

"I umm. I'm..."

"Are you with Roseanna and Matthew?"

"Uh huh."

Fuck, she felt like such a baby. And Harriet had called her...babe? Did she know something? Was this the consequence of her accident before? Was she knocked down from hun to babe? Or did she just sound like a scared little baby?

Fuck fuck fuck.

Roseanna called. She held the line with Harriet.

"Well, what's up? Are you in the middle of the town?" Harriet asked. "I hear wind and people talking."

"Yeah. I'm...fine. I just..."

Mari took a deep breath and told Harriet the situation. She didn't tell her about the diapers, but she told her how she was in sight of the museum, with panties full of shit.

"And you know for sure that poo is in there this time?"

Mari blushed. "Oh yeah I did it."

Harriet giggled. She said 'oh hun' and 'oh babe' a few times. She told Mari it was going to be OK, and that no, she wasn't that busy. There was nothing in the world that she wanted to do more than help her through this. She said that Roseanna was going to be fine, that she could promise Mari, for sure, that Roseanna wouldn't do more than giggle and then would want to kiss her on the cheek no matter how smelly she was.

"I'm really smelly."

Harriet snorted. "Well then maybe she'll kiss you after you're clean. OK? Are you calling me because you need a plan?"

"Uh huh."

Harriet barely hesitated. Perhaps, like a real adult, Harriet had been using a different part of her brain to come up with a plan while she had been calming Mari down. "Go to the Airbnb, I'll call Roseanna. They'll go to the museum and you can meet them there."
"You'll...call them?"

"Yup! And don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, babe."

Babe again. Deserved this time, and probably how she'd be called for good. Mari bit her lip. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, hun." Harriet's voice hung for a second. "But you need to promise me something. Can you do that for me, Mari?"

"I won't have an accident again."

Harriet laughed. "I won't ask you to make promises that you can't keep, hun."

Mari was already walking back to the Airbnb. She had to stop to breathe when she heard that.

"But you need to promise that we'll have another meeting and we're gonna talk about this."

"Ok."

"Can you do that for me?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

Harriet seemed to find this efficient. She made a noise, and then she made it again, but more clearly. "Muah."

"Thank you, Harriet."

There was a long, excruciating pause. Harriet sighed, but through the phone Mari could still tell that she was smiling. "Get cleaned up, hun. Let me know when you're back with Roseanna."