Love and Lies -- P.JM

4 - Tears and History

I look up from my pillow, glancing at Jimin, who walked in and let myself bury my face back into my pillow

"I don't wanna talk...go away"

"Yea yea yea...." he walks over and sits next to me on the edge of the bed. "I wasn't going to ask you to talk anyway..."

"What do you want then"

"Nothing... I just...Tae told us what happened. I'm sorry."

I sigh and shake my head "Don't be...it wasn't your fault. i don't wanna talk about it though."

"Afraid it'll make you relive everything?"

"How'd you...?"

"How'd I know? It doesn't take too long to get when someone's hurting Luna...It happened to me too..." he sighs and fiddles with his fingers, looking down.

I sit up and ask softly "I'm sorry...who was it?"

"Remember Mujin?"

I simply nod before gasping quietly

"No...you're lying..."

Mujin was Jimins older brother, but I was never really as close with him as I was with Jimin. He was maybe ten years older than us so I always felt super awkward around him. But...there's no way he's gone right?

"I'm not lying moon..."

Moon...that's how I knew...

"Jimin..." I call out softly when I see him tear up. I move closer and pull him into a hug. He nuzzles his face into my neck and stifles his sobs, much to no avail...

I whisper again, hoping he doesn't break down "Bobo....don't cry, please...I know you miss him, but he'd rather you live happily than hang onto it"

He lifts his face from the crook of my neck and sniffles and whispers "...luna...I miss him so much... I missed you so much...you promised us...you promised me you'd call every day....why didn't you?"

I start to tear up and scold him in a broken voice"Who asked you not to call huh? Do you know how much torture I went through? I lost all of you guys, then my parents, then Tae left....i practically had no one but my grandparents jimin.....you could've called me too you know...."

I bury my face in his neck and sniffle and he simply rubs my back while he wipes his tears away and leans close to my ear.

"I'm sorry"

I cry for a few more minutes but eventually just sniffle and chuckle softly"We're such cry babies..."

Jimin just gasps dramatically and rolls his eyes "Speak for yourself....i was fiiiiine"

I laugh and snort "says the guy who bawled on my shoulder!"

"Yea well..... that's differentttt this is stupid! I don't like you..." he pouts and pushes me back onto the bed away from him

"Riiiight... if by any chance you said that before saying you missed me, i might've actually believed you....not anymore....." i giggle and kick him softly

He simply smiles at me, wipes the rest of his tears and holds a hand out for me

"Let's go eat dinner...come on..."

"okay..." i whisper before grabbing his arm and pulling myself up.

~~~

We headed down into the dining room yet once again, fifteen minutes after my little tantrum and I sit back down in my seat in silence, the awkward air filling my lungs.

I take a deep breath and say softly to everyone who was visibly weirded out by me being so calm

"I'm sorry...for you know...bursting like a balloon and taking everything out on you...and tae...im sorry....but there are some things I wish to do too you know? I don't wanna be stuck as just your younger sister all the time. I wish I was still a kid, but I'm not. None of us are."

I think the only people who were as calm as me were probably Namjoon and Jimin...oh my god you should have seen the expressions on these kids' faces...

Taehyung just had his mouth wide open in shock for about 20 seconds before he chuckled and whispered

"god...you really did grow up while i was gone...Im proud of you lunes..."

Hobi, sensing the change in mood and tension chimes in "OK we get it....you guys are proud of each other and blah blah blah....can we pleaaaaaaseeeee eat now? Im stravinggg"

We all break out into a laugh and i simply nod and start piling my plate with food.