STOLEN

twenty seven

when my dad was still alive, i had to always make sure that what the gang has been teaching me is something that i can execute perfectly when in the eyes of my father. i love making him proud about the things that i can do and i love seeing him smile.

one wish i definitely regret not being able to do was having a hunt with him. i heard they all went for boar hunting last year and my dad, of course, had the most earned meat.

but now that he's gone, the only one i have to impress is myself. which is why, alone in the gun range, i was busy practicing my shots. i already had a few authentic encounters with gunshots but i would love to learn more.

i am this eager to learn how to stand up for myself so that they will trust me. i want to just shut them off and tell them that i am strong enough.

“haechanah.” i see jaemin beside me, pulling out his gun too. “why are you alone in here?”

i shrug and tell him, “people have been belittling my ability to protect myself. i'm here to prove them wrong.”

i adjust my stance and shoot straight, which made jaemin jump out of his place. he looks at me with a scared look, then.

“who?”

i frown. “all of you.”

he chuckled in front of me and slowly patted my hair. “you are too... fragile and... you are such an open book, haechanah.”

“i know what that is and i don't like it.” i push his hand away and pick up my pace so i can leave him behind.

that is one thing i hate about me.

why the fuck do they always associate me with fragility and weakness? do they not see me as someone strong? do they not trust me? am i that dumb and weak for them? is that how i present myself to them?

because if so, all of this stupid fucking fragility is what cause my father to die. they have been built to be gang members just to protect me as a gang leader's son. if i was not fragile and weak in the first place, they didn't have to protect me because what is there to protect?

“hi, haechanah!” jaehyun met me in the boxing station. i went to the corner and picked up my boxing gloves.

“are you okay?” he says when he doesn't hear me say anything. “you look mad.”

“because i am.” i punch hard, as hard as i would if my daddy's killer would be in front of me. “fuck you!”

“you are mad MAD.” he utters and sighs. “well, i'll leave you be. i have a meeting to— haechan!”

“fuck.” i grit through my teeth. i can feel the sting in my wrists.

fuck, it hurts.

“oh my god, what have you done to yourself?” he picks up the punching bag and removes it off of me.

this just proves that i am so fucking weak and i can't do anything about it.

“let's bring you to yanyang.”

🏴

“all i ever saw was how the punching bag fell when he punched it really hard. i didn't know his wrists would be that bad.” jaehyun sighs and taps me. “i think you need to talk to him.”

“i surely will!”

i'm not sure if it's madness that i am feeling or just disappointment with how haechan is acting right now.