If I'm So Wrong, How Can You Listen All Night Long? [Frerard]

Chapter 2

"Gerard! Hey Gerard!"

I look up to see Ray running over towards me, his afro bobbing up and down everytime he put one foot in front of the other. I rub my forehead before putting my books back in my locker.

Great. Now everyone's looking at me. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. I can cope with all the people at school, provided no-one looks at me. Because you know what happens when they look at me?

They judge me.

Everything I do.

Everything I say.

The way I look.

Everything.

And sometimes I just can't take it, it's too much pressure.

Thankfully it doesn't happen that often, but with Ray running towards me, shouting my name so loud I'm pretty sure the whole town can hear, I expect nothing less.

All I can do is thank God, or whoever is looking down on me, that I had the good sense to not put too much eyeliner on this morning. The last thing I want to happen is people to say I'm gay. I don't want any of them to know anything about me. Once one person knows, the whole school knows.

When Ray reaches me, he takes a minute to regain his breath, and in that minute everyone seems to lose interest in me. I breath out a sigh of relief.

"You here for a reason? Or just here to get on my nerves and make everyone look at me?" I almost spit at Ray. Boy is he not in my good books right now.

He looks slightly taken aback. "Um... I was just wondering if you wanted to come to a party that my friend Bob's having. He told me to invite people and you're the only one I could think of."

It takes me a minute to process what he just said. I mean, he'd always been the only person close to a friend at this horrid place, but I'd never thought he might consider me his closest friend. Fuck that's weird.

But however touched (and slightly freaked out) I am feeling, nothing gets past my whole 'I don't give a shit' guise.

"You think I want to go to a lame ass party?" I say, turning back to retrieve my forgotten books from my locker.

"It-it won't be lame..." Ray counters. I feel kinda bad, but me? At a party? Nu-uh. No way.

I shake my head. "Sorry dude, but I don't do parties." Or socialising of any kind.

"Oh come on, Bob's pretty cool. But if you don't wanna go, then I guess I can't force you. Enjoy the rest of your day." Ray's face as he walks off tugs at whatever kind of a heart I have in there. He obviously thought I was going to agree to come. Oh well... It just means I can play more D and D. I feel the smallest smile appear on my face.

*****

That conversations plays on my mind for the rest of the day, all the way through whatever crap I was meant to be learning, even through Art and Music. Despite not wanting to go, I feel really guilty. I mean, I probably just ruined that kid's day.

As I round the corner onto my street, I notice Ray walking slightly ahead. Huh. I guess he must live nearer to me then I thought.

After a couple seconds of assessing my situation, I make up my mind.

Quickening my pace, I shout ahead.

"Hey, Ray!"

He turns, and he looks utterly dejected. Seeing it's me, his expression turns a little sour.

"Oh... Hey..."

I've caught up with him now.

"I'll come."

"What?"

"I'll come to this party. Sorry, I was in a really bad mood earlier." Because you'd drawn everyone's attention to me you little prick.

His face lights up with delight, and a little part of me wants to hug him, but I refrain from doing so. You know, because I don't give a shit what people think.

He tells me it's this Friday at 8, and lets me have a slip of paper with the address on.

When I eventually get inside, it's quarter of an hour later than usual, and Mum's already gone out to work. Mikey's at a friend's so I have the house to myself. This is a rare luxury, as it means I can play my music out loud.

And within fifteen minutes, I've forgotten anything out-of-the-ordinary happened today.