𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝟐

𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐭.𝟐

more blackhill memes/incorrect quotes! all found on tumblr.

enjoy, fellow blackhill lovers.

—

Peter: I thought Maria was your girlfriend?

Natasha: What?

Natasha, looking at the group: Who else thought Maria was my girlfriend?

Wanda: Maria, put your hand down.

—

Maria coming back from mission.

Natasha: Are you okay? Are you hurt?

Maria, shaking her head: But I think I need sleep.

Natasha, pouting: What, why? We have a date tonight.

Maria: Blood loss.

Natasha: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED!

Maria: I mean my period, vagina blood loss.

—

Clint, bursting into Natasha's room: I'm getting married today!

Natasha, on her bed with the covers up to her chin: Morning Clint.

Clint: I'M GETTING MARRIED! TODAY!

Natasha: Yeah, you are.

Clint, leaving the room: WOO-HOO!

Maria, popping her head out from under the covers: Do you think he knew I was here?

—

Peter, laying face-first on the floor: Nat help me, how do I ask MJ out?

Natasha: Why are you asking me?

Peter: You asked out Maria.

Natasha: That doesn't mean I know how I did it.

—

Natasha: Can you imagine if a centipede wore flip flops? They'd be so loud.

Maria: Are you drunk?

Natasha: No.

Maria: That's what concerns me.

—

Peter, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Natasha, not looking up from her book: Really? Maria, why didn't you tell me? I would have put my book down.

—

Maria, frustrated at work: Fuck me.

Natasha happening to walk by: Right here in front of everyone? I mean okay-

Nick: Please I swear to God, don't.

—

Peter: Why do you look like that?

Natasha, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Peter: Like you're dead.

Natasha: It's because I'm dying. Leave me here to perish.

Clint: Natasha accidentally called Maria "babe" in front of everyone today.

Natasha sobs into the floor.

—

Random citizen: Fuck the feds!

Maria: I am the feds.

Natasha: Don't worry, she's getting fucked daily.

Maria: Can you not??

—

Natasha, stops kissing Maria: What do you think you're doing?

Maria: What do you mean?

Natasha: I mean, your hands!

Maria: ...They're on your waist!

Natasha: I know! What am I, a nun? Put them somewhere useful.

—

Natasha: Maria! I can't do this stupid match!

Maria: What's the match?

Natasha: Well, we have to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.

Clint, covering Peter's ears, while Maria smacks Natasha upside the head: Not gonna lie, that was hella smooth.

—

i am gonna leave this here.