Unpredictable Connection

30. The Edge of Restraint

Charlotte's POV:

It had been months. And today—today was the last day of the semester.

There was something bittersweet in the air, a stillness wrapped in quiet goodbyes and unspoken beginnings. From tomorrow, everything would shift. A new chapter was waiting to unfold for each of us.

For me, Irin, and Becky—we'd step into our second year once the final exams of our first semester were done. It sounded simple, but even that tiny change felt like the end of a familiar comfort.

As for Freen and her classmates, they were moving on to their final semester. A little closer to the edge of everything they had known.

And then there was Engfa.
She would graduate. Just like that.
Maybe she'd finally devote herself fully to her father's business—the one she already quietly managed behind the scenes. Maybe from now on, it would become her entire world.

And maybe... maybe this was the last day I'd see her like this.
As Engfa—the student. The senior. The girl I always looked up to from a distance... and sometimes, a little too closely.

I'm sitting in the far corner of the canteen right now. Alone.
Irin and Becky went to get our lunch, but I didn't feel like moving.
Not when everything inside me feels so... restless.

It's strange, this ache in my chest—soft but heavy.
Because today might be the last time I see Engfa.

And I don't know if she'll even want to see me.
Not after the way I shut her out... after that day.

She probably thinks I found out everything about her—her secrets, her past—and chose to walk away. Maybe in her eyes, I became just another person who came close only to disappear when things got real.

And honestly?
She wouldn't be wrong.

It's not fair, I know.
But I couldn't stay near her... because she's that one person—that single stone strong enough to break through all the walls I built so carefully.

And if she ever gets inside...
What if I fall apart?

But then again...
What if she's the only one who can put me back together?

My chain of thoughts broke as Becky and Irin slid into their usual spots across from me.
I gave them a small, tired smile—one of those half-hearted ones that didn't quite reach my eyes—and lowered my gaze to the lunch tray in front of me. I wasn't really hungry. But I picked up my fork anyway.

Just then, the cafeteria door opened, and Freen walked in. Ling beside her.

My eyes lifted on instinct, catching them in that exact moment.
Freen's expression wore its usual edge of amusement, a sly, teasing smile playing on her lips.
But Ling... even through that composed, polished mask she always wore, there was a tension in her shoulders. Like she was trying too hard to seem unaffected.

They walked side by side—not exactly close, but not distant either.
It made my stomach twist in a way I couldn't explain.

It was no secret that Freen's mother had arranged their date. One of those unspoken "duties" noble families liked to toss around. And at first, it seemed awkward—forced, even laughable. But now... after all these months, something had shifted.

They'd become friends.

Not the kind that laugh and gossip. No, theirs was quiet, steady—an understanding beneath the surface.
I won't lie—it's not a bad friendship.

But sometimes, when Freen leans a little too close to Ling, or when their conversations stretch longer than necessary, I catch Becky looking away. Pretending she didn't notice. But I always do.
Because I know that look.
I've worn it before.