All For the Game Oneshots

You'll Never Walk Alone

Prompt: Aaron on anxiety meds

Tw: insecure thoughts, anxiety, mentions of past drug abuse.

Rationally Aaron knew there was no shame in it. He knew many people had to do it and it was perfectly fine. It didn't make him weak or wrong.

But sometimes the mere idea was a lot for him. He hated being so dependent on him. Fuck, it worked though. It made life just a little easier.

That didn't mean he wanted his family to know. They wouldn't understand. How could they?

Aaron started his private therapy sessions after a couple months of joint therapy. He realized that maybe if he actually talked to Bee she could help him through all the shot occupying his brain.

And, as much as he hated to admit it, Betsy was actually helpful for helping hims process things. Not just the bad things but everything. Even little every day things.

It was a few weeks into their private sessions when she brought up anxiety. Aaron had scoffed at the idea. He did not have anxiety!

Sure he has some issues with overthinking. maybe he was irritable sometimes.... Okay all the time. And he did have issues sleeping and his heart raced all the time.

But that was all normal! Totally not signs of mental illness!

Except it was and bee explained to him over the course of multiple sessions that it was okay to feel this way. She just wanted to help him process and deal with his emotions rather than hiding them.

"Aaron, anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. Many people have it. I have it, and more people than you know do as well." She told him calmly.

He knew that she was right but it was hard to accept it. He spent so long feeling like something was just wrong with him but then that he was faking it.

Everyone else had problems much worse than him why did he have anxiety? He should finally feel calm! He had everything he wanted, a family, a girlfriend who was absolutely the best, and he and his brother were finally on good terms.

If anything he should be the most relaxed and content person! But he wasn't because apparently that's not how mental health worked.

A life time of fear had finally added up and now he had to face the truth. He had a mental illness and that's okay.

When Bee offered him the medication he had been hesitant. He didn't have a good history of medication to the point he didn't even like to take Advil. He didn't want to fall back into the mindset he had been in before where nothing else but the drugs mattered.

So he rejected them. He didn't take it and for about a month he thought he could cope. But then he would get episodes multiple times a day. His heart racing and chest tightening sometimes for hours. Nothing would end the pain.

A long month spent of suffering before Betsy brought them up again and this time Aaron said yes. He explained his fears and she brought out a side effect list and talked him through it.

Yes he would take the medication everyday, but it had an extremely low risk of becoming addictive. He could get off it at any point without having to worry about nasty side effects. He didn't drive anyway so he wouldn't have to worry about potential sleepiness right after taking it.

The medicine was only meant to help his body learn it didn't need to be in flight or fight mode all the time.

The first few weeks he felt nothing. It was like there was no changes. He still was anxious all the time and it was awful. He hid it from everyone he could and prayed no one noticed.