𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚎(𝙰𝙲𝙾𝚃𝙰𝚁)

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓

Feyre held the door open, her gaze locked with Nesta's. A blush from the chill painted Nesta's cheeks a soft pink, while flakes of snow adorned her like delicate lace.

"We're in the sitting room."

"I saw."

Nesta and I had lost touch after the war. The nights we spent together in that bed, the intimacy of our conversations, seemed to have left no mark on her.

"Here--I'll take your coat," Feyre offered.

"You'll fall ill if you just stand there in the cold," Elain tutted to Nesta, smiling broadly. "Come sit with me by the fire."

Nesta crossed the threshold. She wore a simple, elegant gown of grey. Elain linked elbows to lead Nesta into the room, and Feyre followed.

Nesta had lost weight, and there were dark circles beneath her eyes. According to Elain and Feyre, she was rarely sober lately. I was concerned for her.

Feyre introduced her to the twins, Johanna, and Saphira, who was still in my lap. Then, to Varian.

"Don't take her to the wine--take her to the food," Amren called to Elain. "I can see her bony ass even through that dress."

I shot Amren a disapproving glance. Nesta halted halfway across the room, spine stiff. Amren just smirked at Nesta. "Happy Solstice, girl."

"Pretty earrings," Nesta commented.

"We were just getting to presents," Elain said brightly.

"We havent eaten yet," Feyre said. "But if you're hungry, we can get you a plate--"

Nesta accepted the glass of wine Elain pressed into her hand. Elain downed a glass of liquor before turning back to Nesta. A soft snort from Amren at that.

But Nestas attention had gone to the birthday cake still sitting on the table, its various tiers delved into many times over.

"Happy birthday," she said to Feyre.

"Elain made the cake," Feyre commented.

"You can return to your presents," she said softly as she sat.

Elain rushed toward a box near the front of the pile. "This one's for you," she declared.

Mor sprang into motion, handing Azriel his gift. He had received a set of embroidered blue towels—with his initials on them. Bright blue.

"There is absolutely no way we are keeping those in our home," Eve snorted, shaking her head. Morrigan threw an empty box at her.

  Evelina handed me a wrapped parcel. I opened my present to see a romance novel. I smiled as Eve smirked at me.

"You'll love this one," she winked. "It's one of my favorites."

"Thank you," I smiled, blushing a bit.

    I picked up another one, from Mor, and prepared myself. I sighed, opening it up. Inside was the ugliest statement necklace I'd ever seen. But I held it together.

"It's lovely, Mor," I lied. She grinned.

   Cassian and Eve burst into laughter, doubling over, tears in their eyes. Feyre was soon laughing with them, Rhys joining in. Even Az chuckled a bit.

"Guys, be nice," I snapped at them. "I really do love it, Mor." Mor glared at them, but even Saphira had her little nose wrinkled as she studied the necklace.

I gently passed a small box to Saphira, and instantly, a radiant grin overtook her young features.

"For me?" she inquired, her voice a blend of hope and surprise.

"Yes, darling, for you," I affirmed with warmth.

Her gaze was fixed on the box, and as she opened it, her blue eyes brimmed with tears. She delicately took the doll out, the one I had spotted in a Velaris shop window.

"Astraea, thank you," she murmured, her fingers tracing the fabric of the doll's dress. "I've never owned a doll before. No one's ever given me anything." The sorrow in her words chipped away at my heart, yet I forced a comforting smile.

"I'm glad you like it," I whispered back, my voice soft yet sincere.

I felt guilty for not getting Nesta anything. I decided I'd go into town tomorrow and buy her something. Maybe I'd drop it off at her apartment. Only Elain had bothered to buy her a gift.

The night was a blur of laughter and drinking, even with Nesta sitting in near-silence at the packed dinner table.

After Saphira had dozed off on the sofa, clutching her doll close, I decided it was time to call it a night.

I gently pressed a kiss to each of Eve's children's cheeks, then carefully lifted Saphira in my arms.

Ascending the staircase, I brought her to our room, exhaling softly as I tucked her into bed beside me. So very young, she was a reflection of my own childhood--full of pain and haunted by nightmares.

The memory of my own first Solstice with Rhys's family came flooding back. I'd been overwhelmed with emotion, tears streaming down my face as I unwrapped my very first gift. Luna, merely a few months old at the time, and I had shared our first Solstice together.

I knew I would have to help her. But I also needed to help myself. I couldn't be there for her unless I was also on the path to recovery.

Maybe moving into the library would be a good thing. A way for us both to get the help we need and also have a safe place to live. I could work to keep my mind off things, and the Priestesses could offer Saphira guidance, helping her master the Fae language, reading, arithmetic—essentials for a child her age.

"Goodnight, Saphie," I whispered, my lips brushing her forehead in a silent promise of better days ahead, as I settled into bed beside her.