𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚎(𝙰𝙲𝙾𝚃𝙰𝚁)

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖎𝖋𝖙𝖞-𝖘𝖎𝖝

     Nesta had begun to stay back after she was done working, reading with Gwyn and I in a private sitting area. It would be just the three of us. We would train in the morning, Nesta would come back here to work, and then we'd all read together.

     But today, Gwyn was too busy working with Merrill to join us. Nesta and I were lost in our own novels, sitting on couches that sat across from each other.

      I winced as I leaned back, a sharp pain shooting through the tendons of my wings. Clipping them didn't just affect flight, it also affected everyday movement. Which made training particularly difficult.

       I forced my wings to move in ways they weren't supposed to anymore. But i did it anyone. Because he had taken my flight from me, but I wouldn't let him take training, too. 

       I carried the ointment Emerie had gotten me in my pocket, because my wings would start hurting unpredictably throughout the day. The only issue was that it was hard for me to reach my tendons. I had to twist and turn, reach and pin my wings down.

     I up my book down and took the ointment out of my pocket. I grunted, trying to reach my right tendon, frustration making my brows furrow.

"Must you make so much noise?" Nesta snapped, slamming her book shut.

     I froze, turning back to look at her even though I knew I'd have to start over, now. She had been irritable all day. I figured something had happened with Cassian. They seemed to be particularly skilled at pissing each other off.

"I can't reach," I explained.

"What is that even for?" she demanded, grumbling.

"My wings weren't clipped properly," I explained. "So they hurt often. Emerie got me an ointment for it."

       Her face didn't soften, but there was less irritation in her eyes when she processed the explanation.

"Let me do it," she decided, her voice more gentle than before.

"Really?"

"If it will stop you from being so insufferably loud, yes," she said. I bit my lip to hide a smile.

      She set her book down and crossed the room, sitting by my side. She dipped her fingers in the ointment and carefully spread it across the scars.

      I gasped at the sensation. I'd heard much talk about how good it felt to have your wings touched, but I'd never experienced it.

"Sorry, they're sensitive," I whispered.

"Feyre said something about that," Nesta mused, a smirk on her face. "I didn't know if it also applied to females."

"It does," I confirmed, squeezing my eyes shut.

       She chuckled, going to do my other wing. My brows furrowed at the sensation as I tried to keep from making any sound.

       My attempts were in vain as a soft moan slipped from my lips, right as her finger brushed a sensitive spot. My eyes shot open, my face burning.

"I'm so sorry--" I gushed, humiliation settling in my gut.

"Don't apologize," she said as she wiped her hands on her leathers. "It's just your natural response."

"You really didn't have to do that, Nes, I was doing just fine on my own, and--" she cut me off by placing a finger on my lips.

       My eyes were wide, staring into hers. Her grey eyes glanced down at my lips, then back up to meet my gaze.

       She seemed to be asking for permission with her eyes, which meant a lot to me--more than she could know.

       I nodded slightly, and she leaned in, softly brushing her lips to mine. I closed my eyes, my hand intertwining with her hair. She kissed me a bit harder, and I reciprocated.

       The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an hour. I pulled back, my face pink. She only smirked, getting off of the couch.

"They'll be expecting me for dinner," she said to me.

        With that she was off, leaving me dumbfounded on the couch, wondering what the hell just happened. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

       An hour of reflection later, I picked up little Saphira from her counseling session, and the two of us went to the kitchens together for a late dinner--one that could be just the two of us. We did that every night, just so we could have some time alone.

"When I'm ready to go outside again, would Cassian teach me to fly?" Saphira asked me with a full mouth of rice.

       I glanced at her, surprised by the words. She was eleven years old, and her wings hadn't been clipped. Plus, they didn't drag like mine had at her age.

"You never learned to fly?" I asked her, my brow quirking.

"I can get off the ground," she shrugged. "I can fly for a few feet, but then I fall. And I can't go very high. That's why he always caught me when I tried to escape." I tensed at the mention of the captor--a rare topic between us.

"Oh," I said quietly, nodding.

"When he left the house, he never told me how long he would be gone for," she explained. "So I never knew if I had enough time to run. And after a while of getting caught, I stopped risking it. The punishments weren't worth it."

      I took her hand in mine as I noticed it starting to shake. She glanced at me gratefully, then sighed before she went on.

"I wasn't allowed to have a calendar, and he was careful not to tell me what day it was," she whispered, gazing away so she didn't have to meet my eyes. "But I tracked the days based on the moon. And I started to notice that he left the house for hours every night of a full moon. So, I ran the next time there was one."

      She was staring straight ahead, her eyes empty and unmoving from one spot on the wall. Dissociating so she didn't have to live it again. I understood that feeling well.

"I flew as much as I could, and I ran for two days," she went on. "But then, I collapsed because I was tired and hungry. I let myself rest, hidden in the trees. That was where you found me."

"You got all the way to Windhaven in two days?" I asked gently. Rhys had found her captor in a camp that was miles from Windhaven.

"I moved as fast as I could, and I didn't let myself stop until I couldn't stand it anymore," she said. "I was so scared that he would catch up to me."

"Oh, sweetheart," I sighed, stroking her hand with my thumb. "You're the most resilient child I've ever met."

       I was careful not to call her brave, or strong. I hated being told I was so brave for what I went through. As if I'd had any other choice.

"Of course Cassian will teach you to fly," I said. "He would love that, you know."

"You don't think it's too late for me to learn?" she asked.

"Of course not," I assured her. "I was seventeen when I learned."

"And Rae-Rae?" she asked. I hummed a response, tilting my head at her. "When can you adopt me?"

       I smiled at the question, remembering that I had just spoken with Rhys and Feyre about it yesterday, after they'd told me she was pregnant.

"He'll have the papers ready for me to sign by tomorrow," I grinned, squeezing her hand.

       She beamed at me, jumping up from her seat, the haunting look that had been in her eyes gone. She sat herself in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I love you," she told me.  

"I love you, too, little one."