Was that the jump?
Is this the beginning of the new phase of my life that I have been waiting for?
Do I get new opportunities and have I learned from everything?
My lack of self-confidence prevents me from feeling joy.
"You'll get weak again anyway."
"You are too stupid to have learned from this."
And
"Your good heart together with your weakness will be your ruin again."
Don't rejoice too soon, because the old ways will catch up with you.
It's going to happen, just like it always happens.
It won't be long before it's back.
With a high jump, it will settle on your shoulders. Harder than ever.
And it's gonna push you deeper down than you've ever been.
It's eating your heart. Destroy your eardrums and scratch your eyes.
You won't be able to hear or see or feel.
It will force you to listen to everything without being able to understand a word.
You'll be damned to watch but too blind to be able to link the pictures.
It will kill you, but forbid you to die.
If you let yourself be caught up.
So keep running.
You made it this far.
You shook it off, broke loose, and allowed your wounds to recover.
There will always be scars, but that's good, because they'll remind you of what happened.
And what can happen again if you make the same mistakes.
If you don't trust yourself and become a slave to your weaknesses.
The only thing you carry and should carry now is the responsibility for yourself.
It's worth carrying. No one can take it from you.
But neither can you. Don't let other people's responsibilities fall on your shoulders.
Carry as little luggage as possible and as much as you need.
Feel free, because you deserve it.
Don't get caught up.
Don't be stupid.
You're running out of time.
Live.
- Letter to myself
YOU ARE READING
Plucky Toughtfullness
PoetryIn the world we live in, thoughts are lost. They're lost because we don't want to think them. Some thoughts are naughty, some are forbidden, some are undesirable. We don't want to think them. We can't. We don't have time. We're not brave enough. So...
