Khaos

Chapter Eighteen

Literally working on this chapter in my myths class and guys I just found out the Vikings would take mushrooms before going into battle and it would change the way they fought. Crazy af.

Anyways here the chapter

Also I made a TikTok laylalockhart48

Also I'm high rn so some of this might be like wtf, but I'll probably edit it or something if I'm not lazy. Sorry for rambling. 

Ronan Volkov

Nik's eyes narrow as he considers my words, the doubt creeping in despite his best efforts to stay resolute. "What are you saying, Ronan?"

I take a deep breath, my mind racing as I piece together the fragments of the truth that have been nagging at me. "What if this isn't about revenge? What if it's about something else entirely? What if we're missing the bigger picture?"

Nik's expression shifts, a flicker of understanding crossing his face. "You think there's more to this than what he's told us."

I nod, the pieces falling into place. "Yes. And I think Khaos is the key to finding out what that is. He knows something, or he will know something, and that's why my father wants him close. To get information about something other than what he's telling us."

Nik's shoulders slump slightly, the weight of my words sinking in.

For a moment I think he's going to disagree with me, but then he says, "Then what do we do? How do we protect him without blowing our cover?"

I meet his gaze, determination hardening my resolve. "We play along, but we keep him close. We make sure he doesn't get caught in the crossfire. And we find out the truth, whatever it takes."

Nik nods slowly, a sense of purpose settling over him. "Alright, Ronan. We'll do this together. But you need to promise me you'll stay focused. No more letting your emotions get in the way. You don't know the lengths he may be willing to go to. One of us or him will likely get hurt either emotionally or physically or both. Don't be ignorant about this."

I swallow hard, the promise heavy on my tongue. "I promise. But you need to trust me too. We can't do this if we're not on the same page."

"I trust you, Ronan. Just don't make me regret it."

"I won't."

~~~

When I get back to my room, Khaos looks up from the bed, his eyes filled with questions. I steel myself, letting the wall between us rebuild, knowing it's for the best. I can't afford to be vulnerable, not now. Not with him.

"Everything's fine," I say, my voice cool and detached. "We just needed to clear some things up."

Khaos nods, but the confusion in his eyes remains. I move away from him, putting physical distance between us as I head towards my side of the room. As away from him as I can get in here.

"Ronan," he starts, his voice hesitant. "Is there something you're not telling me? Did something happen?"

I ignore the question, my gaze fixed on the darkness outside. "It doesn't matter, Khaos. Just let it go." What if he knows? What if this whole time I was getting played? But he wouldn't...would he?

He stands up, frustration clear in his stance. "What do you mean, 'let it go'? You're acting weird. What happened in your 'meeting' thing?"

"It's none of your concern." I reply, my tone cold.

"None of my concern?" he echoes, disbelief coloring his voice. "How can you say that? I thought we were in this together."

I turn to face him, my expression hardening. "No, Kotehok. We never were." We never agreed or spoke of it. "Grow up and stop being so naive. I wanted a warm body and you were there, and you gave in so fucking easily. I barely even had to do a thing."

This hurts.

"All I had to do was act like I cared and you opened your body to me so easily it surprised me. No flowers. No date. No chocolates. Just throwing you around and some thoughtful words. You're a shameless attention seeking kid blinded by feelings."

His face falls, the pain in his eyes unmistakable. He looks like I've just slapped him, and a part of me wants to take it back, to tell him that I didn't mean a single word I'd just said. But I can't.

"Ronan, I—" he starts, but I cut him off.

"Just stop, Khaos. Nothing you say matters to me. You're quite annoying at this point. Such a baby. Kotehok."

"He shakes his head, anger and hurt mixing in his beautiful, teary eyes. He really is like a little kitten.

"How? How can you even say those things to me? How can you even think that of me?"

I don't Kotehok. I think the world of you. And more. "A mistake, Caddell. Nothing but."

His face contorts with pain and anger. "You're a coward, Ronan. You're so afraid of feeling anything that you'd rather push me away than admit you care."

"Maybe I am a coward," I say, my voice cold. "But I mean those words. I think you're nothing, an annoying boy only good for bodily needs."

He stares at me, his eyes filled with a mix of hurt and fury. "You know what? Fine. If that's how you feel, then maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you're not the person I thought you were."

"Maybe I'm not," I reply, turning away from him.

The silence that follows is heavy, filled with unspoken words and shattered hopes. I can feel his eyes on me, searching for some sign of the connection we've shared, but I force myself to remain distant.

Eventually, Khaos moves back to his bed, his movements stiff and mechanical.

I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, the weight of my father's words still heavy on my mind. I know I've made the right decision, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Khaos eventually drifts off to sleep, his breathing slow and steady. I watch him from across the room, my heart aching with the distance I've created. But it's for the best. It has to be.

I close my eyes, forcing myself to focus on the mission, on the plan Nik and I have devised. We need to find out the truth, to uncover whatever it is my father is hiding. And to do that, I have to keep my emotions in check. I can't afford to be weak.

As I drift off to sleep, I make a silent promise to myself. I'll protect Khaos, no matter what. I'll keep him safe from the darkness that threatens to consume us both. And maybe, one day, when this is all over, he can know. And we can be better. I can be better for him.

Better for his annoying habits and unhealthy choices.

Maybe we came come out of this stronger. But that's a big ass maybe.

"I'm sorry." I whisper for nothing but the cool air to hear.

Sorry for the late update.
I wrote like two sentences then completely forgot to finish the chapter. I had midterm projects and stuff.

Then I kinda quit working for a bit and I've been filling out applications for other jobs. So extra busy lately, plus all my brother's court stuff.

Oh and then my neighbor got arrested. Fucking finally. He's a fucking crackhead and creepy af. This one time he started yelling "white power" when he's literally part black. And then he made out with his wife's brother (who's literally gay) after accusing her of sleeping with my mom. It was very strange and weird. And that's why I won't ever do drugs (Other than weed)

Don't live in ghettos guys. It's fun, but also so not fun.