Yes, Chef

Chapter 23: I Want You to Want Me

~Benedict's POV~

Mads never texted or called. I can see that she read my message and it does nothing to calm my spiraling brain. Where is her head at? Does she plan on even showing up tomorrow?

We'll see if I even make it to tomorrow. I may end up in a cell again tonight.

No. I can't think like that. I'm not as raw as I was the first time Val Finnigan confronted me with the circumstances of Britt's death. I've processed (thanks to Mads). I've learned to cope better (thanks to Mads). I'm more grounded (thanks to Mads). But like Kurt pointed out, Mads may be all over this but I did the work and I'm the one here now.

Thankfully Val is coming in ahead of dinner hours. My crew knows and is taking every precaution to ensure everything is immaculate. I didn't ask for this but they know how immense this is.

I await his arrival alone in the dining room. I asked for ten minutes off the record. I hope he respects my request. When I hear the knock at the front door, my stomach clenches. I start the calming breaths Mads taught me as I stride forward to let him in.

He's older than I remember. For some reason, I have been imagining him as the same age as me, but his graying temples and eye wrinkles suggest otherwise.

"Hi Val. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me." I acknowledge him, holding the door open.

He thankfully doesn't hesitate to enter. "Chef Ruschmann. I figured it was only a matter of time."

"Can I offer you a drink?" I offer.

"Perhaps some club soda. I'm sober nowadays." He shares.

"Lime?" I ask.

"Yes please." He responds, looking around the space.

I grab him a bottle and a glass with ice and a lime wedge. I gesture to a table and he sinks into the chair, dropping his messenger bag on the floor next to him. I take the chair opposite him and immediately start doing my breathing exercises again. While I'm still nervous, I'm not nearly as bad as I thought I would be sitting across from him.

When our eyes meet, I know the ball is in my court. "Val, I do appreciate you coming today. My behavior the last time we met was extreme and I apologize."

"Uh huh. You know, as a journalist it's not the first time I've been threatened. I know what I do can sometimes rile people up and be insensitive." He admits.

"Yeah, I'm not going to lie. You really hit deep. And I was still reeling from everything that happened. With my temper, it was a perfect storm. I'm not making excuses but damn, I was not in a good place and my behavior reflected that." I share.

"Rumor has it you were sentenced to work on that or lose the restaurant." He prompts.

"This is off the record, correct?" I double check.

"Yes sir. I even made my camera guy wait in the car." Val replies, lifting an eyebrow at my hesitation.

"I was. And I am. I've been seeing a performance counselor." I respond.

"So is meeting with me part of some twelve step program or something?" He asks.

"Nope. Purely for the opticals." I admit. "Well maybe it was that originally."

"What do you mean?" He presses.

"I was against seeing you again to be honest. Up until yesterday, I didn't think I could trust myself to not react physically." I tell him.