Yes, Chef

Chapter 25: I Want This

~Benedict's POV~

What are you trying to do? Ruin her? She has moved on. You should too.

That asshole's words are buzzing in my brain nearly drowning out the electric hum of the railway car. When I left I didn't have a plan. I just knew I couldn't stay in the building and jeopardize everything all over again because I hadn't gotten my way. I wanted to throttle that smug SOB who looked at me like I was a danger to Mads. I'd never hurt her but I couldn't guarantee the same for this chump if I had stayed.

I should have just gone to the tattoo shop but there were too many memories of her there. So I ended up here, riding the line to God knows where and back. I hated that I couldn't just be happy for her but I can't help but feel like I somehow drove her into Garrison's arms. Was she really upset that I had gone forward with the Val thing without consulting her? Were the flowers I left too pushy?

I feel bad that I left my team and Jackie. Shit. Jackie was doing a trial run with us. She's never going to want the position now, seeing what a basketcase I am.

My head rattles against the vibrating window. It could lull me to sleep if I wasn't so damn agitated. But here I am, those words rumbling in my head, making me more and more frustrated. How dare he come into my restaurant and hurl those types of accusations at me?

As I ride and ride and ride, I start to recognize the parallels to the Val situation. My overreaction tonight is because I haven't fully processed that Mads doesn't want me or at least won't allow herself to want me. I'm still hurting and to be honest, haven't fully given up hope yet. I keep thinking she'll come around. But maybe tonight is my wakeup call that she's trying to move past whatever we had. And as that dickhead said, I should too.

Eventually the train makes it's loop and I get off where I started, calmer but back to feeling lost and rejected. It's after closing. No cars in the lot except my own. I'm going to have some major groveling to do with my team tomorrow. Not only did I leave abruptly, I likely killed our chances of hiring Jackie.

I consider going in but instead make the decision just to go home, try to get sleep (although I expect a battle), and come in early tomorrow to sort out my mess. I pull into my driveway and am mindlessly trudging towards the front door when I sense that I'm not alone.

A quick glance reveals a figure huddled on my porch swing. It doesn't move so I approach slowly. Chestnut hair pokes out from the hood and shock floods through me. I'm standing right beside her as I bend down and run my hand along her beautiful face. She shivers and slowly blinks open her eyes, startling when she realizes that she isn't alone.

"Benedict." She rasps, her voice clogged with sleep.

"What are you doing here, Mads?" I ask gently.

"I'm here for you." She responds, sitting up and stifling a yawn. She shivers again and I realize her legs are bare.

"Let's go inside, huh?" I gesture to the door and she nods, standing up and standing awkwardly behind me.

I unlock the door and hold it open for her. She steps into my house and the first thought that enters in my mind is that she's the first one to enter this house since Britt's and my stepfather's deaths. I shake that thought and focus on the present. Mads is here. For me? But why?

"Do you want something to warm you up? Coffee or tea?" I offer. "I think I also have the ingredients for cocoa."

"Maybe cocoa." She agrees, playing with the sleeves of her hoodie.