The Amari War

Chapter 9

I spent the rest of the day in my room, polishing my sword until it reflected my face like a mirror. Sophie was somewhere outside, but Skye was there, reading a book on the history of the war.

"We already graduated school. Why are you still reading textbooks?" I asked eventually.

She closed the book and turned to me. "It's fascinating. I like reading about old battles. I've been adding to it, too." She showed me the next few pages of the book, which were covered in her cramped handwriting. "There was blank space left for new battles, so I thought I might as well add my own version of things."

I nodded. "What sorts of things have you been writing?"

"Well, mostly just objective stuff about the battles. I did mention that some people are starting to criticize the war."

"They're not criticizing it nearly enough. You saw what happened to Sophie. The other day, I told my mom that I wished the war would end, and she was shocked."

"That makes sense. She grew up with the war. We all did. She's been fighting in it for around twenty years; of course it's hard for her to let go of these ideas."

"So you think that we shouldn't be fighting?"

"No. We should do whatever's necessary to protect our lives and our freedom. If that means continuing to kill, so be it. But I wish we could just be left alone."

"So do I. Of course I wouldn't want the war to end if it would mean we were conquered. They'd kill us all if they had the chance."

"We won't be conquered. They'll just wear away at us until everyone is dead. But they won't be able to subjugate anyone. We have skills, and they don't."

"So I noticed," I said coldly. What was that? Why'd I say that? I'm not mad at her. So why? "Sorry. You have a point."

"I know I have a point. I just wish other people would see sense. Everyone's on one extreme or the other- but there is a middle ground. The world isn't black and white. We're not children anymore- we should be able to realize how complicated our world is."

I nodded. "Yeah. Honestly, this whole... everything is fucked. We stay alive specifically because other organisms die, even without wars going on. Without death, life couldn't exist... but without life, death couldn't exist. It's inevitable. I just wish it wasn't."

"I don't," Skye said, shoving the book under her bed and rolling over to face the ceiling. "I wouldn't want to be immortal. As long as we're alive, we suffer, and there isn't really a limit to human suffering. It's nice to know that there's always an end to everything, no matter how bad things get."

I nodded. "That's true. I guess under torture, anyone would want to die. Depending on the type of torture, and how intense the pain is, and how long it goes on and stuff."

"Yeah. I'd rather die in battle than be taken as a prisoner of war. They execute their prisoners anyway, so I'd die no matter what. I'd just get to spare myself torture first."

"Not if they took your weapons before you could kill yourself. You'd have to just wait to be executed."

"Oh, I wouldn't kill myself even if I had a weapon. I don't think I'd have the nerve. But it's not like I'll ever get the chance to find out. I hope I won't, anyway."

I nodded fervently. Skye turned over, ending the conversation. I extinguished the light and tried to sleep. It took me forever, though. I kept dreaming that I was being tortured and waking up in a cold sweat. Eventually, when the horizon started to lighten, I decided to just get up and start my day.