Parenting Paul

Chapter 15: Ants in her Pants

Once the two of them returned to Paul's apartment, the both of them were drenched in melted ice cream and cracker crust due to the graham crackers being opened during their walk home. "That ice cream was so good! We didn't get any drizzle sauce or  any rainbow sprinkles though." Heather said as Paul helped her to the floor. "I probably have some of that stuff in the kitchen, look around, help yourself. I'm gonna work on some office business," Paul suggested as he shut the door, and made his way to the office room. With a deep sigh, Paul sat down in his computer chair, and bent down to grab his bass guitar so he could strum and compose new music. Slowly and carefully, Paul began to play random chords and notes in an attempt to make something unique and unforgettable, but unfortunately he was unable to do so, as all the notes he was able to do were previously written melodies he had done.

"Fuck! That's For No One.." he grumped as he lifted his fingers and crackled the joints to fix the stiffness in them. Once more, Paul began to play an assortment of string combinations to create an inspiring and powerful tune. However, the notes were not as original as he intended, which frustrated him. "Ughh, no, that's And I Love Her."He whispered as he put the instrument down to the floor with aggravated irritation. He then began to sway his computer chair side to side, as he huffed with joylessness, and shifted his eyes down to the floor where the book binder he had looked through earlier had been thrown. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Heather was using all of her strength to push the dining room chair towards the counter. "Looks pretty uneasy." she whispered to herself, as Martha, the dog who had been watching the young girl with curiosity, walked up closer to get a better view. "What do you think, Martha? Do you think Mr. Paul has chocolate drizzle sauce up there?" Heather asked, in an attempt to justify her decision. Martha did not bark, nor did she growl, but she did yawn and lick her fluffy furry canine lips. "You're right Martha, there's gotta be!" Heather agreed with glee, as she finally lined up the chair with the counter. Unsteadily, Heather began to make her first steps trying to climb up the rickety chair, which wiggled and jiggled more violently in connection with the weight Heather added with her body as she tried to maintain balance.

"Look at me! I'm definitely the world's bestest ballet dancer, look at these amazing gymnastic skills!" Heather encouraged herself with her voice full of great faith in her abilities. Heather then, who was struggling to stand straight, looked down at Martha who was still watching her with wonder. "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the ballet championship, your star tonight is Heather Louise See, who goes by the stage name, PRINCESS TIGER!!!!" Heather boasted with pride, as she continued to hold her balance, but suddenly she jumped onto the countertop itself. "Woah! now, as she does the chocolate drizzle dance!" she continued on, as she meticulously tried to bend down to her knees.

"Alright, Martha, this is the moment of truth, will I, the great Princess Tiger, perform this impossible task!?" Heather asked as she looked back over at Martha who had once again stepped closer. Heather cautiously opened the cupboard doors, and saw an assortment of items. "Hmm, let's see…there's some Ritz crackers, Cheetos, Walker's Potato Chips, Coffee? But no chocolate drizzle sauce" Heather mumbled as she analyzed what she was seeing. Back in the office, Paul was now bent on the floor, looking through the booklet binder. "That's so peculiar, the picture of Linda with her camera that I had is missing." Paul whispered to himself as he shuffled through the images. "Mr. Paul!!?" Heather, who was down the hallway, began to yell, which suddenly made Paul roll his eyes. Paul, then in response, shook his head, and continued looking through the booklet. "You don't have any chocolate drizzle sauce!" Heather continued on, which made Paul huff louder, "If I have any, it's in the cabinet, which is probably right in front of you, which cabinet are you looking at?" he grumped as he  continued shuffling through the pictures. "I don't see it, can't you just come in here?" Heather soon cried obnoxiously, making Paul roll his eyes again. "No! I'm busy....find something else to do!" Paul scolded with disinterest.

"Ooh! That's even better! I found some peanut butter and some grape jam! I'll have a delicious PB&J!" Heather compromised with the options, as she nodded and slid herself so she could grab the two jars that were in the back of the cabinet. As Heather tried to get herself back onto the chair so she could return to the floor, she accidentally dropped the glass jar of grape jam, which shattered it into millions of tiny sharp pieces. "Oh no! No, no no no no!" Heather began to panic as she rapidly turned her head to look at the mess she had just made. "Mr. Paul! Oh, oh...we need paper towels!! Ohh!" Heather anxiously whined with fear, as she continued looking in horror at the mess. "What are you doing out there kid!?" Paul answered from down the hallway, not really grasping the level of concern. "Please, we need paper towels! Please, hurry!" Heather begged as she haphazardly attempted to climb down to the floor again. "Just use a dish towel with some water!" Paul suggested, as Heather's left foot slipped off the seat of the chair and the right almost simultaneously slipped off the counter top. "I can't grab that! Oh no, no....it's going under the fridge! You need to come in here please!!!" Heather begged as she tried to use her right foot's weight to lift herself up onto the countertop again.

Back in the office, Paul was still sitting on the floor trying to find the missing photograph, but was glaring at the door listening to the commotion that was coming from the kitchen. "Ohhhh, we are gonna have ants!" Heather cried as Paul groaned loudly and rolled his eyes with irritation once more, as he finally stood up, and began to walk into the kitchen. "What the hell is going on out here!? I'm trying to..." Paul began to scold, but paused with horror as he noticed the calamity that had transpired, and watched Heather as she finally made her way back to the chair, and hopped down to the floor. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Mr. Paul." Heather sheepishly answered, as she then walked towards Paul who was standing by the hallway entrance in a daze.