Unmasked: A New Beginning (Gabenath)

Chapter 12

Gabriel lies on his side and patiently waits for Nathalie to wake up and open those blue eyes of hers.

It's been so long since Nathalie was released from the hospital, and she's been doing fine in all that fits these past two months. He's thankful that she and the baby are doing better, but nonetheless she still has had a difficult and risky pregnancy.

———

Gabriel really wishes to talk to her about his feelings, and how much he regrets treating her the way he did. That he is so extremely sorry for saying the things that he said. That he wishes they could be happy together, and be a family, and leave the past behind them. That he hopes she can forgive him for being such an idiot, and for hurting her the way he did. That he knows he doesn't deserve her forgiveness, but wants to try and earn her trust.

This is all his heart desires, but the truth is that Nathalie avoids speaking to him at all costs. These past two months have been literal torture for him, she avoids talking about anything that doesn't involve Adrien or their son. He's tried approaching the topic dozens of times, but she simply dismisses him each time. He supposes he deserves it.

Nathalie's allowed him to sleep with her on the same bed out of pure sympathy he supposes because that is the closest he's been able to get her. Only at night is when she allows him to touch her. She allows him to rub her belly, and even plant small kisses on it. She allows him to stroke her hair, and to bury his nose in it. She lets him smell the sweetness of honey emanating from her hair, and he inhales it until he thinks he's drained the scent from it. She also lets him wrap his arms around her, and embrace her like his life depends on it. Only when the sun is gone, and the moon and the stars dominate the sky is when she allows him to nuzzle her neck with his face, and to run his fingertips through the soft skin of her arms, he does this until he closes his eyes shut and sleep takes over him. No words are ever spoken in those moments of pure bliss, all he ever hears is her soft breathing, and occasionally he hears her gasp when their son starts his nightly routine of kicking inside his mother's womb.

———

Gabriel feels so hopeless knowing that she is so close to him, so nearby, but that she has never felt so distant, so far away, so unreachable. The thought that he might have lost her makes him go insane. Thinking that there might be nothing to save their relationship tears his heart into pieces. Imagining that she might never accept him or forgive him breaks him entirely. And thinking that the only thing that can ever link them together is their son makes him almost lose his mind. Gabriel doesn't want their son to be the only reason why they might see each other or even communicate with one another.

He wants to live an actual life with her. Gabriel wants to kiss her lips when he feels like tasting her, hug her tightly to feel the warmth and the softness of her body, and make love to her like a real lover is supposed to do. All his heart desires is for her to forgive him, and for them to be happily together. That is what he yearns for the most, but he doesn't seem to be able to achieve this when she doesn't want to even speak to him. This isn't possible if she doesn't allow him to open up his heart to her.

———

Gabriel looks down at her sleeping face, tears pricking at the ends of his eyes. Sadness invades his system as his desperate heart cries for her attention, and begs for her to acknowledge his empty soul. All his heart and soul are screaming for is right in front of him. A true star is what she is, and he's a fool who hasn't been able to appreciate her in any form. All her sacrifices and actions, all for a stupid man like him. A man that treated her so badly, and said words that should've never ever left his mouth, said things that should've never been spoken.

He's so terribly regretful.

———

Gabriel keeps watching her in her slumber, looking so lovely and so peaceful, and it strikes him how beautiful she is. Gosh, he's an idiot! He's probably ruined everything, and he might never ever be able to kiss her lips again, and tell her that he's so in love with her, and that thought alone makes him almost cry out loud.