Andre stood in his same spot not daring to leave, or else what happened would be real. He was confused as to what happened. His lips were still tingling from when they kissed. He didn't know how to feel or what to do. His sort of friend George had walked into the room, and stared at him weirdly, "Dude you good?" He asked concerned.
He wasn't that close to George to consider him a friend, they only interacted occasionally, and he was the only person closest to a friend here. When Andre didn't respond, his brain kept replaying the kiss over and over again. He couldn't get it out of his head, he snapped his finger to revert his attention, It caused him to jump out of his thoughts, "Yeah I'm good." He answered in a monotone voice, his eyes reverted to the spot where they kissed, and he almost winced. "You sure? You acting hella funny," He questioned, Andre just responded with a nod. "Here I found this in the meeting room," He explained passing him his missing teddy bear.
He was relieved that the bear was found, it was a gift that his mother gave him before she passed away, he held on to it, it was the only reminder he had of her. He didn't no what he would do if he didn't find it at all. 'Thanks," He thanked as he gave him a grateful smile, his eyes looked down at the teddy bear, and he signed in relief.
George gave him a nod before exiting, Andre stood there in silence, with his thoughts, he didn't know what to do about Zayn, or how to feel. He was in a mixture of emotions, anger, and confusion, mostly with himself because he kissed him like he was a girl, it was like when he was doing it his brain blocked out that he was a guy.
The thing that bothered him the most was that he didn't hate it. He was also angry with himself for allowing himself to do that, like how can he be so stupid? Why did he kiss him? Why didn't he push him away? He didn't want to, if anything he wanted to go further. So many questions going through his head right now.
He hated Zayn and Zayn hated him. So why did that happen, why did he kiss him back? His confusion of the matter was starting to anger him, he didn't like this feeling he was feeling. He didn't like feeling confused, it drove him crazy, he had so many questions he wanted answered when there were no way he would know.
He hasn't been in a predicament like this before, or ever thought too deeply about whether he liked women or men, if he had a thought on it then he would force it out of his mind. The fact that there are thoughts in his mind second-guessing himself is making himself is making him go crazy.
He didn't want to be in this room anymore, or in the place anymore. Anger is the majority of the feeling he felt the most of his life. He has no way of letting his emotions out besides raging. It was an unhealthy habit that he couldn't shake, that would probably stick with him for the rest of his life.
He couldn't help feeling wanting to punch something all of the time, he hated the anger he had inside of him. He didn't know how to properly cope with his problems besides punching something until his hands were all bloody, that was the only way to make him feel better.
He started taking a heavy deep breath, trying his best to calm himself down and repress himself from punching something. He needed to take his anger out of something. He went to the nearest wall and rested his head on it, tears started to fall down his eyes.
He was feeling this way all because of a boy he hated, named Zayn.
-
Zayn
He has been in the bathroom for about a couple of hours now, he has been sitting at the last stall of the bathroom. He knew he couldn't stay in here for the rest of his life, but it started to look like not a bad idea. After a while, the people are going to start looking for him.
The kiss had been replaying in his mind, to the point where it was engraved in his skull, he couldn't escape it, it was like when his mind would finally start to think about something else, it would come back in his mind haunting him. Nobody had ever kissed him like the way Andre did, and it was something that caused him to feel different. He never felt that way when he kissed a woman like that.
He was analyzing every detail about the kiss, unintentionally, he would think about it and something new about it would pop up. How his lips felt against his, the way his body felt against his. He noticed that he would have this weird fluttery feeling every time he thought about it.
He glanced outside of the bathroom window and sighed as he realized it had started to become dark outside. His time was starting to run short, and he would have to go back into the room with him eventually, he knew he couldn't sleep in the bathroom, and they had a curfew that you had to be in bed by 10. He was trying to think of a solution as to how he could not interact with Andre. Maybe sneak in the room while Andre's asleep, and leave first thing in the morning.
He hated being in other places besides the room, but that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. He hated confrontation, he just wanted to forget about it. To be honest, it was just a mistake, it wasn't like they were friends or anything, they literally hated each other.
He had to be back in the room in a couple of minutes, he was manifested that he wasn't awake. He exited the room, and walked down the hallway slowly, being as slow as possible, almost equivalent to a snail. He was postponing being in that room as much as possible. The closer he got to the room, the more nervous he felt, his heart beating a million miles per hour. He noticed his palms began to sweat.
He opened the door as quietly as possible and winced when he heard a slight squeak, the room was completely dark, and you could only see the street light reflecting the window. He was relieved when he saw Andre seemingly fast asleep.
He tiptoed his way to his bed, and as he was about to get on the bed, he heard the sound of the lamp flicker on. He instantly glanced up, and him and Andre were staring at each other, he was trying to read his face, but he had a blank expression on his face.
"Why did you do it," He asked in a monotone voice.
"Why I do what," Zayn said acting complete clueless to what he was talking about, "You could be asking anything, like why didn't I eat breakfast today, or why I choose to wear green socks instead of blue."
"Stop acting stupid Zayn." He said in an angry tone, he glared a hole through Zayn, he started to feel uneasy under his gaze, he didn't like the way he was feeling. He felt so tense and off guard, but at the same time what did he expect. "Since you want me to elaborate why did you kiss me?"
Zayn face went pale, he was completely speechless, he didn't know what to say or what to do. He didn't even know the answer himself. "I- well- uh" He said trying to muster an answer, "It was an accident?" He stated but it sounded more as an question, he started to feeling himself start to become more nervous, he didn't know what to do or what to say, he just didn't want to be in this situation.
He was scrambling through his head trying to find an answer that make sense or why he did it, but he couldnt find nothing. "Are you asking or telling me?" He retorted not believing a single thing coming out of the boys mouth.
"It was an accident and also an mistake. I'm not into guys or anything it just happened," Zayn defending himself, but Andre still didn't look convinced.
"Yeah okay," He scoffed in disbelief, as he started walking slowly toward Zayn, the closer he was getting near him the more nervous he was getting. He didn't understand why he was this nervous over Andre, it was a different type of nervous, he didn't know to explain it, "How do you accidentally kiss someone?"
Andre was so close to him that he could feel his breath on his cheek, Zayn didn't look him in the eyes, but Andre was staring deeply at him, it was making him feel tense, "How do you accidentally kiss someone back?" He mutters out, in almost a whisper.
AUTHOR NOTE: I haven't been writing as much because I've been studying for my GED. And I can't fake partially it's because I'm lazy and unmotivated lol.
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Repression (bxb)
RomansaAll Zayn Harden did was destroy himself, and he didn't care. He was hurting everyone around him, and he knew that. He knew he was deep into it, so far that he knew he wasn't going to be able to climb out of a hole he trapped himself in. Him overdos...
