Diary by Annz

in the dirtiest room :-

Sometimes I just wanted to pee, so I sat down the toilet seat and felt relief from the burden of holding it in.
Then, my eyes wandering around the room, it's moldy, green and dark. Mix with black or maybe mix with yellow. Bet me this is a hundred years worth of leaving, but the truth hurts me.
It not that long, just a couple weeks of abandonment. Nobody's here for three to four weeks, just a while at their own sanctuary called home.
And just four weeks total, this much dirt could been produced. I finished my business, put off my clothes and begins to shower. I ignored the fact I entered for a small business, I tend to do big ones now.
I bathed myself with cold stagnant water in the bucket. I don't shiver, not one bit even. My eyes are just at the dirtiest corners of this room. It's not like it can bathe itself or can move itself from this confined space to make itself pretty and tidy (again). All humans should do is care and clean them up. Nobody should be abandoned and ignored or neglect. This is what we use for everyday wise.
Does God take your life away when He finds out you are useless, dirty, smelly, forgetful, sinner, poor, stupid, etc...?
What just gives you the most authority to be arrogant and powerful (you are not) to not even bend down to earth and realize how you are also powerless and dirty as your hands touch the feces.
You are not powerful or authorized, you are just plain prideful with no sacred mind state.
I just took the scrub, scrub the whole room with no soap. It took 30 minutes, and the room clean a bit.
I changed the water in the bucket, I realized it before, but today I realized with the intention to clean it.
I smell and smile, it much better. It is accepted, by me and by any other human.

Damn it, y'all just lazy.

Today, when I wonder, I wandered. But, I actually stay in the same space.