breathe

chapter eighteen

Draco sat down on the couch watching Harry's dad putting a glass of water for him down. "dad can you leave?" Harry asked. "why?" James teased. "it's important." Harry replied. "okay, but remember no shags on the couch." James walked out of the room. "tell me everything that's on your heart." Harry said. "River scared me, she used some kind of spell on me, I don't know what it was, but she hurt me a lot with it and afterwards she used another spell on me and controlled my mind, it was terrifying." Draco said. Harry nodded. "I saw my parents pale and hurt. Their eyes were closed and my mom had a wound here." Draco pointed at his forehead. "my dad was shot three times, once in the feet once in his stomach and once in his throat." Tears rolled off Draco's cheeks. "I have nightmares about that day, it was awful. I felt betrayed, and it's hard to look at you. what if we grow up and do the same like my parents?" Draco asked. Harry got a little smile on his face. "you felt like that between us?" Harry asked. "you were with me for a long time, I've blown you. I felt good around you." Draco said. "okay, and now?" Harry asked. "I'm scared you'll hurt me." Draco replied. "do you trust me?" Harry asked. Draco shrugged. "I don't know, I trust you with my secrets, but not with my body." Harry nodded. "I'm glad you tell me this." Harry smiled at him. "I still like you." Draco said. Harry nodded. "I know you do, and I'm gonna help you." Harry said. Draco smiled. "we'll start off slowly." Harry said. "what's your suggestion?" Draco asked. "what are you comfortable with now?" Harry asked. Draco shrugged and looked at Harry. "it's up to you." Harry said. "talking." Draco replied. "that's a great first step." Harry smiled. Draco nodded. "are you staying over here?" Harry asked. Draco shook his head. "I'm going home, I haven't been since Christmas." Harry nodded. "see you tomorrow?" Draco asked. "wait I wanted to ask you something about school." Harry said. Draco looked at him. "you aren't so good in math, you've mentioned that at the beginning of the year, so I'll tutor you." Harry said. "thanks I'd like that." Draco said. "I know that you'll be distracted with everything happening now." Harry said. "yeah, with River and that." Draco nodded. "about River, can you sue her?" Harry asked. "why?" Draco asked. "she only got three years prison, but you said something about her using spells on you and the spells you described sound like unforgivables, so please?" Harry asked. "I don't know Harry." Draco said. "I'll help you out." Harry said. Draco nodded. "okay see you." Draco stood up and walked out.

James sat on the couch watching Harry. "what do you want me to say?" Harry asked. "are you his boyfriend?" James asked. "we're figuring out." Harry said. James smirked.

"okay that was it for today thanks." Harry said all his third year students left and Draco walked in with his math book. "hey, I thought you'd go grab some coffee?" Harry asked. "no, I am going straight to court after this so no time to waste." Draco replied. "what are you going to court for?" Harry asked. "my money and inheritance." Draco replied. "isn't it all for you?" Harry asked. "they need to decide to give it me now or in a few months and custody." Draco replied. "you're not eighteen?" Harry asked. "what did you think?" Draco asked. Harry shrugged. "come sit." Harry patted the desk. Draco sat on it. "good, do you understand today's lesson?" Harry asked. Draco nodded. "okay, tell me." Harry asked. "we're talking about geometry, about the circle?" Draco asked. Harry smiled and nodded. Draco picked up Harry's hand. "you're making progress Draco." Harry smiled. Draco's smile faltered a bit. "what?" Harry asked. "you're doing so much for me, and our relationship, but I'm doing nothing." Draco said. "you're scared." Harry replied. "no, I'm just being a fucking coward." Draco said. "can I tell you a story?" Harry asked. Draco looked at him. "when I started being an auror I was immediately assigned a case. I was a rookie it was my first day. most rookies get office duty until they work there for 6 months, but I was assigned a case, a difficult one a gang had been dealing magical ingredients for illegal potions. Me and my partner were assigned the case. I was dating him at the time. He was 27 and I was 19, so it was two years ago. We found the place they stayed and that. so we were investigating, but I messed up a charm, so they knew we entered and started attacking us, a member tried to attack me from behind, so Charlie, my partner cast a protego on me, that's a shielding charm. But someone killed him, I panicked, because I didn't know if he was dead or alive at the time, he was just lying on the floor, I managed to take each one out and I ran over to Charlie while the other Aurors handcuffed the others and took them away. I've tried everything, but he died. He died the moment the spell hit. I felt it was my fault. I had killed Charlie Weasley." Harry paused for a second to breath. "Weasley?" Draco asked. "I'll come to that later." Harry said and let of Draco's hands. "I felt like that for quite some time. I came back in the office and my boss took me off field immediately, I am happy he did that, I was a wreck, I could not concentrate for the rest of the day, until someone came into my office. I was the one who witnessed the dead, so I had to go tell the family. So I went over to their house. I had met them before, we'd celebrated Christmas that year. So Charlie's mom opened the door hugging me. She looked at me and saw me in my uniform, she knew something was off and she let me in, the whole family of eight minus Charlie was sitting in the living room. they all had their eyes on me. One of Charlie's brothers asked me if I wanted tea and I couldn't find the words to tell them their oldest son was dead. after some deep breaths the entire family burst out in tears by my words and all over again it repeated that it was my fault. After I returned home, I lived with Charlie, I packed and returned to my dad, it's still my apartment and I haven't been in there since. Afterwards Kingsley saw me being distracted and also took me off the office. So I didn't work for almost a year. I came back in the office and he immediately assigned me a new case, River's case. I saw you in your bedroom. I was scared I'd have to go and tell another family that it was all my fault someone killed my boyfriend." Harry said. "do you still feel it was your fault?" Draco asked. "I do, I started dating Charlie's sister hoping she'd be like Charlie so I wouldn't miss him, but I did more and more each day, so I moved on." Harry said. "is that why Ron is mad at you?" Draco asked. "yeah, because he also believes I killed his brother and afterwards used his sister." Harry said. "you did?" Draco asked. "I wasn't aware I was." Harry said. Draco nodded. "the point is I thought I was useless too, until they needed me presenting as teacher, you can create that feeling too, you might feel useless right now, but you're not. I need you." Harry said. Draco blushed. "I gotta go." Draco said. "call me if you need me, or come over." Harry said. Draco nodded. "good luck." Harry said. "well I hope I don't get in custody cause that's just annoying as hell." Draco said. "want a ride?" Harry asked. "no thanks." Draco walked out of the classroom and Harry stared at the door, he was so in love with that man.