Before us

Chapter three - Ava

It's been a week since Jasper brought me home. We haven't spoken since. And I'm not going to change that now. Jasper's mom is coming over tomorrow. At least we didn't disturb the friendship of our mothers. My mom tried to help me in any way she could, but she couldn't. She didn't even know if I should forgive him or not. But I'm not going to deal with that today or in the near future. I think as I finish getting ready for bed. I lay down and let my mind wander into different dreams and other realities.

In the morning, I wake up to darkness. I looked at my phone, it was four o'clock in the morning. I almost screamed with anger. But then I stopped, realizing that the others were probably still asleep. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't, so I decided to open my phone that I closed in one of the drawers in my nightstand. It lights up and I immediately see thirteen unread messages from Jasper and four missed calls. I've had a few voicemails from him that I haven't listened to yet. Come to think of it, maybe it will help me decide whether I should forgive him or not. I put on my headphones and play the oldest voice message. "Hi Ava, can you please answer me. Even though you probably won't hear this, I just want to tell you that I care a lot about you. I understand that you can't forgive me. I know and I understand you. I said something I shouldn't have said and I really regret it. Even though you probably won't forgive me right away, please at least consider forgiving me in the future. Thank you for everything, even though you probably won't forgive me.''

I didn't feel anything after the first voicemail. But then after the second one I was on the bed, sobbing as quietly as possible. All of Jasper's voicemails were similar. Even if it was said differently. They always meant the same thing. I listened to the voicemails several times to see if he really meant it or if he was just making it up so he could hurt me more. After several hours of listening to voice messages over and over again, I decided that he was serious. I looked at the clock and it was already eight o'clock. I spent four hours with such a small thing.

I heard footsteps from the hallway. I opened the door and saw my mom coming downstairs. I put on my shoes and followed her. As I walked down the stairs, I heard a sob. Quiet, but not so quiet. I'm going to speed up a bit. I walk towards the kitchen. I'm standing next to the door, but I'm standing so that no one can see me, but I can see everything. Mom and Dad are in the kitchen. "You see, I don't have the energy to do it anymore, and she's perfect.'' I didn't understand what he was talking about, and especially who he was talking about. "You should understand. Hell, we have kids together, Johan. You can't just go out with a woman. And leave me with two kids. Do you see the impact this will have on Ava and Sam?'' It was like a punch. It took my breath away. I couldn't breathe. It was like being in a cramped room with no windows or doors. There is no escape. I can't fight this pain anymore. I feel anger engulfing me. Anger and hatred flow into every part of my body. "That's why I decided to take them both. You wouldn't be able to take care of them anyway. The only thing you can take care of is the household. You can't take care of children.'' I can feel my mom's anger seething out. How dare he tell such a lie. She's the one who takes care of us all the time. He's the one who doesn't know how to care about anything. I hear my mom take a breath to say something, but my dad stops her. "If you want to say that Ava and Sam are going to stay with you, you're wrong. I've already talked to them. They both said they wanted to be with me." I couldn't take it anymore and I rushed in. They both looked surprised. But dad more so. "Hey sweetheart, did we wake you up? If so, I'm so sorry, your mom wasn't happy with something.'' I look at him with anger in my eyes. "How dare you talk to her like that. And on top of that, you're telling one lie after another. You never talked to me about cheating on my mom. And besides, you're the one who can't take care of anything here. And if you talk to her like that again. I will disown you as a father and report you to the police for endangering others.'' I walk over to my mom and hug her. "Is that true, Johan? Did you really lie about this? You know what, I don't even want to know. Pack your things and get out of my house.'' I'm still holding my mom and she squeezes me even harder. "The house is mine, too. And she's lying. She's a liar like you. She wants to make a fool of me."  "She doesn't have to make a fool of you, because you can do it all by yourself." He turned and angrily walked up the stairs. I guess he went to pack. I hugged my mom this whole time. But now we were kneeling on the floor. We sat there for a while and had time to get ourselves together at least a little. We heard footsteps coming down the stairs. They sounded angry, and occasionally a suitcase or bag could be heard crashing into a wall or railing. I turned toward the stairs and placed my knife as close to me as I could, just in case. My father came into the kitchen with a suitcase. Fortunately, he is leaving. "Remember, this isn't going to end just like that, this is going to have an after match, because of your behaviour.'' The whole time he was saying that, he was looking at me with contempt.With this sentence he turned and left this house, perhaps forever. A chill ran down my neck. It's like someone grabbing you from the back of your neck with an icy hand. I shook myself off and hugged my mom again. She was shaking. I helped her walk to my room to get some sleep. She had to sleep at my place because she didn't want to sleep in the same bed, she slept with my father. I put her to bed. I took a piece of paper and wrote on it that I was going for a walk. Just in case Mom or Sam got up before I got home.