Secret Admirer

Chapter 25 💕 Confused Kabir

Days started passing like this. Sometimes Amaira stayed with her mom in the hospital, and sometimes Ishita stayed. Both were taking good care of their mom. Kabir also silently supported Amaira from behind, which she needed very much. It was the first time in so many years that Amaira felt that someone was there for her, supporting her, without expecting anything in return. She had thought she would buy something for him, to say thank you, a thank you gift. The doctor had now said that her mom was out of danger and she would be discharged soon. This meant Amaira could go for a gift shopping today. Tomorrow she would be busy taking her mom home from the hospital, so she decided to go today. She spent two hours in selecting a gift. When she felt satisfied that she had bought a good gift for Kabir, she headed home. She was very happy, but she had no idea what surprise was waiting for her at home.

*****

Meanwhile, Kabir was extremely confused about his feelings. He couldn't understand what he was feeling. He wanted to know what was going on in Amaira's mind, and now that he knew, he didn't know what to do. Before, when he didn't know the reason why Amaira married to him, everything was fine. Now that he knew Amaira wouldn't be with him if his mom wasn't biased towards her, she might choose another life for herself. This wasn't the place she wanted to be. He knew Amaira had a special place in his heart, and it would be very difficult for him to let her go. His heart would break, but he didn't want to be selfish. Especially when he could give her the happiness she deserved. He also knew he couldn't share all this with anyone, so he went to meet the person who could understand what he was feeling right now.

*****

"I love you, Amaira."

"I know you don't want me to say this to you, but there's no one else I can say this to. If I tell anyone in the family, they won't let me do what I want to do."

"You know, I never wanted to love her. I never wanted to marry her, but she's the kind of girl who doesn't need an invitation; she just effortlessly finds her place in everyone's hearts with her goodness. And I just feel compelled in front of her. She opened all the doors of my heart that I had kept shut, tightly closed. When, how, I still don't know. All I know is that she has effortlessly made her place in my heart, without even trying, and I don't even know if my heart does exist or not before."

"And don't think that I don't love you anymore. No one can make me do that. But seeing Amaira reminds me of you. She's very brave, a little sensitive; she loves everyone selflessly, keeps everyone happy, makes everyone laugh, even though she might be broken inside herself. Whatever she does, it reminds me of you. And yet, she's very different, especially from everyone else. I've never seen such a girl before. I just feel helpless; I don't even know when I started loving her."

"The strangest thing is that I realized I've fallen in love with her, now, when I found out that her happiness lies with someone else. She doesn't want me in her life. There's someone else who will keep her happy, who is the reason for her smile, who will love her, take care of her. Who will hold her close at night when she's troubled or restless. Who will kiss her to reassure her when she's in any dilemma. Who will hug her when she needs some support. These days, I'm doing all this, even though I know very well that I have no right to, and there's no place for me in her life. She needs a companion right now, and to me, she just sees me as a good friend. In a few days, when she won't feel the need for my support anymore, she will become that same Amaira again and start distancing herself from me. She will become the same Amaira she was before. I know I'll miss her a lot."

"But now, when I know she wants something else from life, I can't let her suffocate in this relationship, in the name of friendship. She deserves love, a lot of love. And she expects someone else to fulfill this desire. That's why I'm setting her free now, to find her happiness. I'm sure you also agree with me on this. She deserves to live her life on her own terms. I want her to do all this without any responsibility over her. I know what it's like to live life without your love. I don't want her to go through the same phase."

"So now I'm leaving. I have some important work to do to give her life back to her. And that will be soon."

"I love you, Mahima. Thank you for listening to me. Bye."

Kabir stood up from near Mahima's grave and walked out of the cemetery. It was the first time he wasn't leaving here in sorrow. But he was sad for what he was about to do.

*****

That same evening, when Kabir reached home from the office and went to his room, he found a beautiful bouquet of orchids placed on his bed. They were his favorite, and he knew they must be from Amaira. His favorite song was playing in slow motion on the music player. He didn't know how Amaira knew these little things about him.

"As if you know she likes old Hindi songs and hates roses," Kabir's mind said to him.

"Oh, you're here," Kabir heard her voice. Before facing her, he took a few moments to prepare himself. He was scared of what he was about to do.

"Yes. Did you bring these flowers for me?" Kabir asked, pretending as if it didn't matter to him that she had brought something for him.

"Yes. For you," Amaira said, giggling.

"Thanks. But why?"

"There are two reasons. First, our half year wedding anniversary just passed, and due to my mom's illness, I couldn't think of anything. And second, I needed to thank you for supporting me so much during my mom's illness. Otherwise, I couldn't have done anything. The doctor said she's fine now and will be discharged tomorrow. So, I thought I should get something for you today. Hence, I brought this gift for you. We shouldn't break our monthly tradition. Don't you find it strange that we give each other gifts every month to celebrate our anniversary, even though we both know that this marriage doesn't really mean anything?" Amaira said, giggling, as she handed a gift to Kabir. Kabir, despite hearing everything, remained silent, preparing himself to speak up.

"True. This marriage doesn't really mean anything. We both had our reasons to marry each other, but I feel like those reasons don't exist anymore," Kabir finally said after much effort.

"What?"

"Just like you got something for me, I've also got something for you," Kabir replied, without looking at Amaira.

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